Stories!

[tankie]

Sir,

Sgt-Majs are the craftiest of animals. I remember when my Bde Col came down to my sqn and said, this has to be done and done now. My SSM replied, it's already been taken care of.

I was stunned but had the sense to shut up. After I asked my SSM, "When did we do that?"

"We didn't and we won't but he won't know about it."

Yes and so are cpl,s i was on the ranges in Germany , and was commanding a Scimitar , when i had a misfire , i promptly changed the flags and reported misfire to the control , the officer in charge , Mjr Lloyd Edwards immediadelty demanded to know what type of misfire it was ? ( i was trying desperatley to clear the soddin gun , and replied straight away , control it is the old yellow blue type misfire ( at this point an explanation is required ) on the early gunnery system it had a round color indicator on the gun case to show which type of misfire it was and the commander carried out the correct action to clear it , but it was later discarded ? Now having known said Mjr had not worked on the early system , he hadnt a clue what i was talking about , and not to show his ignorance he shut up and let me get on with it , which i did and carried on the range run , when i got back he asked me what the misfire was and i replied again the old yellow blue sir , oh ok , then Cpl H well done and off he went satisfied , i wonder if he ever found out what it was ? please dont ask as i dont ####### know either , but i know what caused the misfire

[Officer of Engineers]

How do they get away with this stuff? Do they just not care if they get in ****?

This is experience talking here. My then SSM/now RSM knew the Col was not going to check. He's going to have his hands full as it was. We were a battlegroup doing a brigade group exercise. I had a troop trying to do a regt's job. and the Col wanted us to lay a bridge BEHIND us. The only way the Col was going to learn about that was if he ordered a general retreat but that would screw up the rest of the exercise.

What would really get his attention would be that we didn't penetrate the minefield or we didn't set up the proper protection for the guns. A brdige no one is going to use is going to get ignored.

What kind of punishment could an officer even dish out anyway?

Anywhere from a heavy dress down to mutiny charges.

[entropy]

So the Sergeant was taking a risk by doing so?

[Officer of Engineers]

So was I. I was the Officer Commanding.

[sappersgt]

So the Sergeant was taking a risk by doing so?

byOfficer of Engineers So was I. I was the Officer Commanding.

That's called having faith in your men and they in you.

[Repatriated Canuck]

Damn I guess so...

Thanks OoE.

[Officer of Engineers]

This one happened yesterday.

Someone gave the Vice Chief of Defence Staff the finger. The driver, however, remembered to write down the licence plate and tracked him down. My RSM took noticed and said, he will take care of it. He phone the idiot's Warrant at the Range.

The response "Oh, goodie!"

[Bluesman]

And somebody's day went downhill VERY quickly....

[Officer of Engineers]

There are times when the sadistic streak in the NCM scares even the hardest officer.

[sappersgt]

And somebody's day went downhill VERY quickly....

And I'll bet he never saw it coming!

[Southie]

When I was stationed at Castle AFB CA during our mobility exercises, we would draw straws to see who was in charge of bringing the rum to mix with our cokes. My friend's turn was up and she was walking towards the hangar with the rum tucked under her arm inside her field jacket. A General's car was heading towards her (license plate with the 3 stars on it) and she kept walking without saluting. The generals driver stopped the car and the general asked her if she forgot to do something. She thought for a moment (I think she had already had some of the rum to be honest) and then rendered her salute, forgetting that the bottle of rum was tucked under her right arm. Needless to say, the bottle fell to the ground, shattering all over the pavement. She found out what an Article 15 was all about and we had to do without our precious rum and drink our cokes plain that night.

[Callmecur]

Yes and so are cpl,s i was on the ranges in Germany , and was commanding a Scimitar , when i had a misfire , i promptly changed the flags and reported misfire to the control , the officer in charge , Mjr Lloyd Edwards immediadelty demanded to know what type of misfire it was ? ( i was trying desperatley to clear the soddin gun , and replied straight away , control it is the old yellow blue type misfire ( at this point an explanation is required ) on the early gunnery system it had a round color indicator on the gun case to show which type of misfire it was and the commander carried out the correct action to clear it , but it was later discarded ? Now having known said Mjr had not worked on the early system , he hadnt a clue what i was talking about , and not to show his ignorance he shut up and let me get on with it , which i did and carried on the range run , when i got back he asked me what the misfire was and i replied again the old yellow blue sir , oh ok , then Cpl H well done and off he went satisfied , i wonder if he ever found out what it was ? please dont ask as i dont ####### know either , but i know what caused the misfire

Talk about officers pretending to know abbreviations or procedures when fed by other ranks. After I had transferred from the tanks to the Ordnance, I went on my first exercise with HQ 1(BR) Corps in Germany and was attached to the RAF section. As is the norm in the forces, we had a stand to at first light and again at last light. Now, being an ex-tankie and not relishing the idea of doing infantry-type things (you know, like lying down in wet woods and given fields of fire etc) when the executive officer came round the location checking everyone was in the correct position, he also looked into each box-body to check that every junior rank was deployed. When he saw me he asked "Why aren't you in position Corporal?" I replied "Sorry sir, but I'm i/c BBW and have to remain where I am" The young major looked slightly perplexed but nodded saying "OK corporal just ensure you keep your weapon close at hand". This happened every day for three weeks and on the last day the said officer was accompanied by the COS (a brigadier) who wanted to see how the lads were positioned. When questioned by the COS why I wasn't deployed, the major said that I was "...i/c BBW" and had to remain with the wagon. The COS nodded and walked off. Both the major and the brigadier never did discover that i/c BBW stood for "in command of the box body wagon" but not wishing to look as if they didn't know one of the many military acronymns, they made out they understood what they thought was probably an RAF acronymn. Officers do have their uses, but they are limited....!!!

[soutie]

This is one of the oldest tricks in the book.During our wee campaign in Angola we recieved parcels for the first time,in 2 months .

I was surprised as hell when i heard my name being called out ,anyway before i could open the packadge it was searched ,for the the normall contraband
ie marijuana and "buttons ".This parcell was from my older brother who had quite a bit of expierance in the military.

Anyway in this parcell was the normall stuff ,dried fruit ,biltong ,sweets and 9 bottles of colgate shampoo.Now this bottles where all colour coded some where green ,yellow ,blue,or orange.you should have heard the s******s

The question was asked how are you gonna use this when there is not enough water to drink.I duely packed may shampoo bottles away and forgot about them.

2 weeks later we got extra water from our water bunkers so we could shower out of a Gerry can that was placed on top of our rattles .My friend said "Hey don,t you have shampoo ,wahoo i thought i open the bottle poured some into my and low and behold my brother had created a miracle ,he changed the shampoo to rum mmm mmm ,You can imagine my surprise,Everynite our section before sunset would have our ration of rum sundowners was the code word .

And i can remember the battle of lombar river against the 47th brigade each of us took a hefty swig even our medic who did,nt drink:))

[sappersgt]

This is one of the oldest tricks in the book.During our wee campaign in Angola we recieved parcels for the first time,in 2 months .

I was surprised as hell when i heard my name being called out ,anyway before i could open the packadge it was searched ,for the the normall contraband
ie marijuana and "buttons ".This parcell was from my older brother who had quite a bit of expierance in the military.

Anyway in this parcell was the normall stuff ,dried fruit ,biltong ,sweets and 9 bottles of colgate shampoo.Now this bottles where all colour coded some where green ,yellow ,blue,or orange.you should have heard the s******s

The question was asked how are you gonna use this when there is not enough water to drink.I duely packed may shampoo bottles away and forgot about them.

2 weeks later we got extra water from our water bunkers so we could shower out of a Gerry can that was placed on top of our rattles .My friend said "Hey don,t you have shampoo ,wahoo i thought i open the bottle poured some into my and low and behold my brother had created a miracle ,he changed the shampoo to rum mmm mmm ,You can imagine my surprise,Everynite our section before sunset would have our ration of rum sundowners was the code word .

And i can remember the battle of lombar river against the 47th brigade each of us took a hefty swig even our medic who did,nt drink:))

I think you already told us that one.That's OK though, It's a good story.I've always said any story worth telling is worth telling again!

[tankie]

Talk about officers pretending to know abbreviations or procedures when fed by other ranks. After I had transferred from the tanks to the Ordnance, I went on my first exercise with HQ 1(BR) Corps in Germany and was attached to the RAF section. As is the norm in the forces, we had a stand to at first light and again at last light. Now, being an ex-tankie and not relishing the idea of doing infantry-type things (you know, like lying down in wet woods and given fields of fire etc) when the executive officer came round the location checking everyone was in the correct position, he also looked into each box-body to check that every junior rank was deployed. When he saw me he asked "Why aren't you in position Corporal?" I replied "Sorry sir, but I'm i/c BBW and have to remain where I am" The young major looked slightly perplexed but nodded saying "OK corporal just ensure you keep your weapon close at hand". This happened every day for three weeks and on the last day the said officer was accompanied by the COS (a brigadier) who wanted to see how the lads were positioned. When questioned by the COS why I wasn't deployed, the major said that I was "...i/c BBW" and had to remain with the wagon. The COS nodded and walked off. Both the major and the brigadier never did discover that i/c BBW stood for "in command of the box body wagon" but not wishing to look as if they didn't know one of the many military acronymns, they made out they understood what they thought was probably an RAF acronymn. Officers do have their uses, but they are limited....!!!

:)) You missed out digging holes Dave thank God for the back engine decks eh ?:))