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Comment i picked out from the video linked
Imagine being a farmer and one day the air force stands in front of your door saying "yeah we accidentally dropped a nuke on your cow sorry about that"
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Scotsman Irishman and a German were in a pub ! Usually theres an Englishman but he is still at the euro 2020sComment
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Chris at her sarcastic best
Taking the Short Bus To Paradise
Mullah Baradar had to attend to a serious personnel problem, which required his immediate return to Afghanistan. Pakistan’s—er um the Taliban’s—war with the feckless Americans was at an inflection point. Again. For the thirty-eighth time in twenty years. Baradar, resentful and truculent, lumbered towards the hujra.
“La hawla wala Quwwata! When I was a fighting the Soviets, did I complain? No. I fought in flipflops. In the snow. Having climbed up the mountains and down again. These Gen X mujahideen are not worth the oil my favorite bacchebaaz puts in his hair,” he muttered louder than was prudent.
Though he resented Akhundzada’s laze and penchant for luxury, Baradar shouldered this responsibility with aplomb. He departed his functional yet commodious office in Doha for district Deh Rahwood, in Oruzgan province (or his paternal “shithole,” as his hero Sardar Trump would say) to convene an emergency shura of sub-commanders and some of their aspiring, yet apparently agitating, suicide bombers.
“Brothers! I understand from our bigger and more important brothers in Pakistan that many of you are terribly upset. I am sorry that Brother Akhundzada could not make it. I am sure he is quite busy killing kafirs! He must be sending you prayers that you too dispatch kafirs to hell after this meeting, which he thought should have been an SMS. But I am here. Please, my brothers, our fight with the American infidels has reached another inflection point according to Fox News, CNN, the BBC and those other absurd shows that pass for news in the lands of the kafir.
Mawlawi Mohammed Qais, the head of the Taliban’s military commission in Laghman Province, spoke first. “Sir! The infidels have told our boys that the suicide bombers cannot have sex with the houris in heaven as their penises will be vaporized in the blast. We have made a sacred promise to our ambitious martyrs that, in heaven, they may disport with the countless maidens who have not been touched by man or djinn! It is written in the Quran, Alhamdullilah!”Comment
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Got to move this to the top...
A man takes his wife to a rodeo in Montana. While there the couple went to see breeding bulls. At the first pen a sign informed the public that this bull mated 50 times last year. The wife said that is once a week. Moving on to the second pen the sign said that this bull mated 120 times last year. The wife nudges her husband and says that is twice a week. You could learn from him. At the third pen the sign says that this particular bull mated 365 times last year. The wife was so impressed she almost broke her husbands rib when she poked him and said that is once a day. The husband upon hearing this said why not go over and ask him if it was the same cow.Comment
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The Parable of the Squirrels
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God’s divine will.
At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistry. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistry and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later, the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water slide.
The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path by setting out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol poisoning. They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do.
But the Catholic church came up with a more creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.
Finally at the Jewish synagogue, they trapped the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven’t seen a squirrel since.
Trust me?
I'm an economist!Comment
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“Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.”
Mark TwainComment
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In honor of those in the Northeast Corridor“Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.”
Mark TwainComment
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This needs to go on the joke page, because that's what Massie is.
Twitter, Feb 9, 2022.
MIT engineering graduate and clueless GOPer congressman Thomas Massie: “Over 70% of Americans who died with COVID, died on Medicare, and some people want #MedicareForAll ?
Random response No. 1: “Over 90% of Americans who died with COVID drank a glass of tap water and some people still want clean drinking water?”
Random response No. 2: “Over 70% of Americans who died with COVID died in hospitals, and some people want more hospitals?”
Random response No. 3: “Over 70 percent of Americans who died of heart attacks own a washing machine. We must ban washing machines.”
Random response No. 4: “Dumb Tweet of the Day. It's like saying: '100% of Americans who breathe air eventually die – and some people actually want air?'”
Random response No. 5: “Probably 95% of Americans who died of Covid were pensioners. And some people want Social Security?”
Random response No. 6: “do you know how many people die while in BED ??? ban beds imo”
Random response No. 7: “Death rate at hospices is also horrifying. Abolish hospices.”
Trust me?
I'm an economist!Comment
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This needs to go on the joke page, because that's what Massie is.
Twitter, Feb 9, 2022.
MIT engineering graduate and clueless GOPer congressman Thomas Massie: “Over 70% of Americans who died with COVID, died on Medicare, and some people want #MedicareForAll ?
Random response No. 1: “Over 90% of Americans who died with COVID drank a glass of tap water and some people still want clean drinking water?”
Random response No. 2: “Over 70% of Americans who died with COVID died in hospitals, and some people want more hospitals?”
Random response No. 3: “Over 70 percent of Americans who died of heart attacks own a washing machine. We must ban washing machines.”
Random response No. 4: “Dumb Tweet of the Day. It's like saying: '100% of Americans who breathe air eventually die – and some people actually want air?'”
Random response No. 5: “Probably 95% of Americans who died of Covid were pensioners. And some people want Social Security?”
Random response No. 6: “do you know how many people die while in BED ??? ban beds imo”
Random response No. 7: “Death rate at hospices is also horrifying. Abolish hospices.”
Trust me?
I'm an economist!Comment
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All kinds of crazy out there now.
An Ohio mayor suggested that setting up ice shanties for fishing in the city of Hudson could lead to prostitution during a city council meeting on Tuesday.
The Hudson City Council on Tuesday discussed whether ice fishing should be allowed in public parks. City Council President Chris Foster said “a number of residents” have requested permission to ice fish on Hudson Springs Lake. However, some officials expressed worry that someone could fall through the ice, leaving the city liable, according to a recording of the meeting.
Officials also cited concerns that allowing ice fishing could create an additional burden for paramedics, police and firefighters.
In a video widely shared across social media, Hudson Mayor Craig Shubert (R) first suggested the council speak with the fire department before finalizing the issue. Shubert then raised an entirely different concern.
"Does someone come back next year and say I want an ice shanty on Hudson Springs Park for X amount of time?" Shubert asked. "And if you then allow ice fishing with shanties, then that leads to another problem. Prostitution. Now you've got the police chief and the police department involved."
"Just data points to consider," the mayor said after a brief silence.
Foster, sitting next to Shubert, appeared surprised by the comments, turning to the audience and saying, "OK."
While no official directly addressed the mayor's comments, City Council member Chris Banweg responded by joking, “I’m not in favor of ice shanties.”
“My comment about ice fishing, the permitting of shanties on lakes, and prostitution stems from my experience as a former television news reporter covering law enforcement agencies, which have made arrests for acts of prostitution in ice fishing shanties. When discussing proposed legislation, it is wise to discuss the potential for unintended consequences. My statement was to enlighten council that the future permitting of ice shanties may lead to other issues.”
He then resigns claiming this was nothing but a policy of destruction and it was his attempt at dry humor. Riiiiiight!
https://thehill.com/homenews/state-w...mended_content
Well I'll say one thing about ice shanty's. If viagra doesn't get you stiff maybe the ice will. Now who lives in the frozen north to check that out?Last edited by tbm3fan; 15 Feb 22,, 19:09.Comment
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1. Say something batshit crazy or outrageous without a hint of irony, humor or even so much as a grinOriginally posted by tbm3fan View Post
2. Deny you were being serious and were "only joking"
3. Rinse, lather, repeat
“He was the most prodigious personification of all human inferiorities. He was an utterly incapable, unadapted, irresponsible, psychopathic personality, full of empty, infantile fantasies, but cursed with the keen intuition of a rat or a guttersnipe. He represented the shadow, the inferior part of everybody’s personality, in an overwhelming degree, and this was another reason why they fell for him.”Comment
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Well, most conceptions up here is done during Nov-Feb. Body heat, staying warm under the comforters, etc. Mar onward is calfing, spring planting season. Choice between sex and sleep, sleep wins during Spring thaw.Originally posted by tbm3fan View Post
Last edited by Officer of Engineers; 16 Feb 22,, 08:57.ChimoComment
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“Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.”
Mark TwainComment
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