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  • #1

    First Sergeant-ism's

    I'm not sure what the Brit/Canuck/Aussie/Kiwi Forces call a First Sergeant. But I remember a few choice words I heard on a regular basis that kept me out of harm's way when I first enlisted. (And which kept me out of trouble long enough to get my commission and flight rating).

    One that has stayed with me over the years was from a crusty First Sergeant in Panama who always welcomed his young Airmen with: "Welcome! I am your First Sergeant. If you have a problem, I will help you out. If you ARE a problem, I will help you out."

    Any good First Sergeant Quotes out there that helped you stay out of trouble while you grew up?
    Last edited by GAU-8; 02 Aug 07,, 04:15.
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  • #2
    I just remember one embarassing moment I had with my First Shirt.

    My big bro was in the Army and he called them Top. My first day on Flight I was told to see the Shirt. So I made sure my shirt was tucked in. Odd, how could they see my shirt beneath my BDU blouse or top/shirt whatever - men don't wear blouses...blousses....blousi? Anyway, I went the entire day without reporting in to him. The next day everyone pegged me to be the bad Airman. My flight chief was a MSgt and (he already called me "THE FNG" i knew what that was) so I asked him if he was the Shirt. Then, he asked me if I knew what a Shirt was and with great arrogance I replied "The article of clothing underneath your BDU top."
    Silence and he scurried away like he'd forgotten something. I then saw a MSgt with a diamond in his insignia, but he didn't have a cop badge on his BDUs so I assumed he was from another Squadron filing a report. I didn't know you got different patches once you make First Sergeant and I didn't know then non-cops were First Shirts. He goes into the First Sergeants office (I thought just thought they were good buds) sits down in his chair Leans back and says.
    "Son, do you like the Air Force?"
    "Yes."
    "YOU WANNA STAY IN IT!"
    I darn near snapped my neck snapping to attention.
    "You've got to be kidding me you didn't ask who I was? You had me waiting for you all day yesterday! Who the blankity blank blank" well you know how the rest of this anal reeming goes. As soon as he dismisses me all of back office is in the hall laughing and just having a ball my flight sergeant laid a trap for me. I thought to myself what a bunch of sadistic jerks laughin' then The Shirt walks out and says. "I'm sorry, someone like you doesn't come around but once in a blue moon."
    Not so much of a quote, but more of a happy memory of my stupidity.

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    • #3
      Even sergeants can have a sense of humor. Some morbidly but not like a sergeant major we had in my battalion.

      He not only was a vet of WW II and Korea, he first joined up as a private in the FIRST World War.

      The only warning he ever gave us was, "Now, you youngsters think you are smart. But you can never pull anything over on me. So watch out. I've been around a long time. After all, my first KP duty was the Lord's Supper."

      Yup. One of the nicest guys you'd ever want to meet.
      Able to leap tall tales in a single groan.

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      • #4
        My company had one Sergeant, an American and a former Marine Gunnery Sergeant from Duncan, Oklahoma. His speech was peppered with "Okieisms". Often we had to translate for the Afrikaners as to what polecats (smelling worse than), a junebug (quicker than a chicken on a), chiggers (y'all itch my ass like a bunch of) and cottonmouths (meaner than) were. The more complicated ones were sometimes a visual, like sh**tin in tall cotton or stickin yer p*cker in a nest a mud daubers.

        His description of the weather was always interesting. It rained like a cow pissing on a flat rock. It was hotter than Georgia asphalt. Hotter than a June bride in a feather bed was pretty creative, as was my favorite, "Hotter than two rats fu(king in a wool sock". That one took a little imagination.

        I can remember the Sergeant yelling, "I am old enough to be your father, as a matter of fact I might BE your father!". He then said we were what happens when first cousins marry and proof that Darwin was wrong about advancement of the species.

        The Sergeant could and would give an absolutely world class ass chewing. When I became company Sergeant I unashamedly borrowed much of his material, I had learned from the best.
        Reddite igitur quae sunt Caesaris Caesari et quae sunt Dei Deo
        (Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's and unto God the things which are God's)

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        • #5
          My staff was a nutter his favourite line was I WILL STICK MY HAND DOWN YOUR THROAT RIP OUT YOUR LUNGS ,CHEW THEM AND THEN F,,,,, SH,,,,,T IT OUT THRU MY ARSE.

          The other one was YOU DRILL LIKE A BUNCH OF COWS KAKING OVER A BRIDGE

          SOUTIE YOUR KIT BAG LOOKS LIKE A WHORE,S HANDBANG

          i still get goose bumps when i think about it

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          • #6
            He not only was a vet of WW II and Korea, he first joined up as a private in the FIRST World War.
            How old was this guy? When did this take place? Im assuming in the Vietnam era?

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            • #7
              Originally posted by ChrisF202 View Post
              How old was this guy? When did this take place? Im assuming in the Vietnam era?
              This was RustyB's SgtMajor and RB has just turned 71(sorry to remind you of that RB):) so Vietnam would fit in nicely;)

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              • #8
                My drill Sgt would stand nose to nose and ask" Am I hurting you Soldier"?

                NO Sir!!....

                "Well I should be 'cos I'm standin' on your hair lad..now GET OFF MY PARADE GROUND and get an 'air cut you 'orrible man"

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                • #9
                  The only thing that comes to mind was when I was stationed in Korea and at my Hail and Farewell, the 1st Sgt was giving a speech about everyone that was leaving. Then he comes to me...I was not that bad (snicker) when I was there, but he had to remind everyone about my nickname - pinball - because after a night of partying a little too much, walking back to my room I kept running into the walls, and they said I looked like the little ball in the pinball machine. Then for whatever reason he made a comment about table dancing! I can honestly say that I never table danced! He liked to embellish a bit - when he was drinking!
                  “When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.” ~ Jimi Hendrix
                  "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt                   sigpic

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by dave lukins View Post
                    This was RustyB's SgtMajor and RB has just turned 71(sorry to remind you of that RB):) so Vietnam would fit in nicely;)
                    Actually it was between 1956 and 1960 when he was in our battalion. If he enlisted at the age of 18 in 1917 that would make him only 57 years old. But believe me, he was quite a bit older than that.
                    Able to leap tall tales in a single groan.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Southie View Post
                      but he had to remind everyone about my nickname - pinball - because after a night of partying a little too much, walking back to my room I kept running into the walls, and they said I looked like the little ball in the pinball machine.
                      That is HILARIOUS!!

                      "Pinball" heh heh...I'll have to remember that one.
                      “He was the most prodigious personification of all human inferiorities. He was an utterly incapable, unadapted, irresponsible, psychopathic personality, full of empty, infantile fantasies, but cursed with the keen intuition of a rat or a guttersnipe. He represented the shadow, the inferior part of everybody’s personality, in an overwhelming degree, and this was another reason why they fell for him.”

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                      • #12
                        " Your Dad should have saved us all a headache and beat off in the bathroom sink".

                        "Your about as F*%ked up as a football bat"

                        "Wonder if its too late to have you aborted? Hell, lets call your mom and ask."

                        There are a few more but they are a little crude

                        Of course, in the Marine Corps, 1stSgts are putty tats. Its the Company Gunny that you need to fear.
                        Last edited by Gun Grape; 02 Aug 07,, 23:44.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by dave lukins View Post
                          My drill Sgt would stand nose to nose and ask" Am I hurting you Soldier"?

                          NO Sir!!....
                          To which my DI would have replied, I AM NOT A SIR, I WORK FOR A LIVING.

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                          • #14
                            True story from OCS. About zero dark thirty on our first or second night, the DI, a salty old CPO comes rampaging through the barracks sceaming 'FALL IN WITH YOUR COVERS ON! FALL IN WITH YOUR COVERS ON!"

                            Well, I knew well enough he meant our hats, the only kind we had were fore and aft caps usually referred to as c*nt caps. So, I got dressed and put on my cover. (Against the regs as we were indoors, but I didn't know that, yet.) However, several guys fell out and put their blankets over their heads. As you might imagine, the DI had a good time chewing them out for not knowing what a cover was. When he got to me, the DI made some comment about not wearing a cover indoors and then dismissed us all. It seems funny now, but at the time it wasn't.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by wabpilot View Post
                              To which my DI would have replied, I AM NOT A SIR, I WORK FOR A LIVING.
                              What would happen if some smart ass start to omit the word "sir" in his replies?

                              "Do you understand that?"

                              "Yes."

                              "Yes WHAT?"

                              "Yes Sarge."

                              "You will say 'yes sir' in all your replies."

                              "But didn't you say you're not a 'sir' you work for a living?"





                              There's a reason why I never joined the military.
                              "Only Nixon can go to China." -- Old Vulcan proverb.

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