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7 kinds of sex

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  • 7 kinds of sex

    I ran across on one of the blogs I read. I thought it was pretty funny (well, at least at this point in my marriage ).

    The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

    The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so horny you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

    The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

    The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway, you both say "screw you."

    The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex, which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night.

    The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex. This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you right in front of everyone.

    And last, but not least, the 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex. You get a little each month. But not enough to live on.
    "So little pains do the vulgar take in the investigation of truth, accepting readily the first story that comes to hand." Thucydides 1.20.3

  • #2
    Now we all know what to look forward to when we find a new partner. My wife and I are late bloomers cause we are still vasilating betweeen#1-#3, not that I am complaining ;)

    Does this thing go full circle? Take the little blue pill and you can be back to smurf sex again.?
    Removing a single turd from the cesspool doesn't make any difference.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by bonehead
      Now we all know what to look forward to when we find a new partner. My wife and I are late bloomers cause we are still vasilating betweeen#1-#3, not that I am complaining ;)

      Does this thing go full circle? Take the little blue pill and you can be back to smurf sex again.?
      I think that's what Viagara is for. ;)

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      • #4
        Sex? What's that?
        Able to leap tall tales in a single groan.

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        • #5
          The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex, which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night.
          I would like to reqoute that one:

          The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex, which means you get Nun(None) in the morning, Nun(None) in the afternoon and Nun(None) at night.



          Self-control is the chief element in self-respect, and self-respect is the chief element in courage.

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          • #6
            Staying in the 1-2 category myself.
            Fortitude.....The strength to persist...The courage to endure.

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            • #7
              :Zzzzzz:

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              • #8
                :slap:

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by psvpsvprasadca View Post
                  :Zzzzzz:
                  No intro , n the 2 posts you have made dictates a bet , im giving evens your gone before Jan 1st .

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                  • #10
                    And then, there is Bailey Quarters Sex.

                    Where you are not getting it in the conventional sense of the word, so all that energy gets used for how you relate to people, how you do your work, you get off on it!

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by tankie View Post
                      No intro , n the 2 posts you have made dictates a bet , im giving evens your gone before Jan 1st .
                      Ever the optimist.
                      Removing a single turd from the cesspool doesn't make any difference.

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                      • #12
                        Yup , pessimistically speaking of course , ;)
                        Last edited by tankie; 29 Dec 13,, 03:51.

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