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  • Critical advice readers

    Ok peoples of WAB here is why I am asking first: I have been sailing for nearly 2 months now to escape the 'lock in' and avoid other connections with insanity and what started as 'bed time story' for my small people based on my own historical knowledge has become 25/26,000 words of Chapter 1 Book 1 of a fictional history - all events happened as they did but conversations and a few characters are invented while the political differences and allegiances of each of the main 'parties' are presumed from the factual events.

    The main story follows Edmund 'Ironside' who became King of England in 1016 and follows that of his ancestors but starts in 1014 when Sweyn 'Forkbeard' dies. Edmund's elder brother dies later in 1014 leaving him to inherit when their father Ethelred 'the Unready' dies and Cnut then becomes King and send Edmund's two young sons into exile (probably with the intention of them have 'disappear' forever) but how they and their line survive until returned the throne in the person of Henry ll when he becomes King in 1154. I have not got beyond 1014 yet though!

    There are secret 'loyalist' guardians/wardens and their ancestors who hold an heirloom which is at first believed to Offa's sword but later revealed to be 'excalibur' that Arthur drew from the stone etc and this secret society intervene in the years to come believing when they discover what the sword really is the words of one of their princes to be a prophecy.

    It covers at present the disagreements between King Ethelred and his elder sons that have lead to the current war in 1014 (when the King is in Normandy and only his elder sons have remained to fight or die).

    So what do I ask? Only that you read what I have so far written and give me your thoughts.

    There is a list of the main characters and notes as to place names but that you are free to read but it is not of course obligatory.

    So anyone who would be so kind to offer their advice - critical preferably - I would be grateful for. PM me your email and I will send what I have written and bear it in mind with gratitude.

  • #2
    Normally, I would jump in, But... the wife and I are two hours from moving back to the US for the first time in 40 years (each). Two hours, as in sitting at Heathrow where only Boots and WHSmith are open. So, maybe next month?
    Trust me?
    I'm an economist!

    Comment


    • #3
      Not a problem David though it will probably be longer by then. Have a safe journey!

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by DOR View Post
        Normally, I would jump in, But... the wife and I are two hours from moving back to the US for the first time in 40 years (each). Two hours, as in sitting at Heathrow where only Boots and WHSmith are open. So, maybe next month?
        Hopefully you read this here in the States. Welcome home and hold on!!!
        “Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.”
        Mark Twain

        Comment


        • #5
          Hanks to both of you for the good wishes.


          Well, the odds were that SOMETHING would go right, somewhere along the long, long line...

          (*) Both of us got upgraded, and we were the only ones in our 12-seat section. Think, “private bathroom.”
          (*) No idea what to expect (only two shops open in Heathrow), but we were served a decent hot meal and good wine.
          (*) We arrived an hour early, which means stores still open for the all-important cat food and (ahem) “feline facilities.”
          (*) Less than five people in the Miami immigration hall.
          (*) Bags arrived within five minutes.
          (*) One person being handed the keys at Avis.
          (*) And, to top it all, we met Tracy, an American moving two cats from London to Florida on the same flight, car rental, car type (huge van), cat care service, and Miami hotel.

          Karma can be a really nice Lady some days.
          Trust me?
          I'm an economist!

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by DOR View Post
            Hanks to both of you for the good wishes.


            Well, the odds were that SOMETHING would go right, somewhere along the long, long line...

            (*) Both of us got upgraded, and we were the only ones in our 12-seat section. Think, “private bathroom.”
            (*) No idea what to expect (only two shops open in Heathrow), but we were served a decent hot meal and good wine.
            (*) We arrived an hour early, which means stores still open for the all-important cat food and (ahem) “feline facilities.”
            (*) Less than five people in the Miami immigration hall.
            (*) Bags arrived within five minutes.
            (*) One person being handed the keys at Avis.
            (*) And, to top it all, we met Tracy, an American moving two cats from London to Florida on the same flight, car rental, car type (huge van), cat care service, and Miami hotel.

            Karma can be a really nice Lady some days.
            Nice!!!

            Good people need good things....
            “Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.”
            Mark Twain

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by DOR View Post
              Normally, I would jump in, But... the wife and I are two hours from moving back to the US for the first time in 40 years (each). Two hours, as in sitting at Heathrow where only Boots and WHSmith are open. So, maybe next month?
              40 years! Holy cow I won't even recognize you!

              Wait, have I seen you before???

              Ah, memories of seniors. Between AR, you and me we might equal a primitive early computer. Might throw GG in there for good measure and the extra boost.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by tbm3fan View Post
                40 years! Holy cow I won't even recognize you!

                Wait, have I seen you before???

                Ah, memories of seniors. Between AR, you and me we might equal a primitive early computer. Might throw GG in there for good measure and the extra boost.
                I believe I'm the only one here who knows how to use an abacus though I highly dount the GS had ever used a slide rule.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Still got an abacus at home - beans on a string - and had a slide rule once though I can't remember why I had it and doubt I could use one now. Still got a sextant.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Snapper,

                    I'm not sure I can be much help with your book, but as it will obviously include a fair bit around 1066 I would urge you to find a place in the narrative for some detail on Harald Hardrara, who met his end at Stamford Bridge that year. A Viking who fought for the Kievan Rus as well as Byzantine Emperors, he is easily the most interesting figure in that whole drama, William included. He could have his own book, but at the very least offers scope for some interesting chapters.
                    sigpic

                    Win nervously lose tragically - Reds C C

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by WABs_OOE View Post
                      I believe I'm the only one here who knows how to use an abacus though I highly dount the GS had ever used a slide rule.
                      I learned to use an abacus in grade school but long dormant.

                      I used a slide rule all the way through college!
                      “Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.”
                      Mark Twain

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by WABs_OOE View Post
                        I believe I'm the only one here who knows how to use an abacus though I highly dount the GS had ever used a slide rule.
                        Same as the others. Abacus in grade school. would need some refresher training from the wife now
                        Used a slide rule in High school and in the early years as a artilleryman.
                        FADAC and Bucs were always checked with charts and darts. I'm assuming you would consider a Graphic Firing Table as a slide rule?




                        I'll bet I'm the only one that has used the Ma Deuce in the indirect fire mode using a plotting board and TFT.


                        (edit) I just realized we are in a chest thumping contest to see who is more ancient. Damn
                        Human Scum. Proud Never Trumper

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Gun Grape View Post

                          (edit) I just realized we are in a chest thumping contest to see who is more ancient. Damn
                          and there we have another senior moment.

                          So before the abacus there were rocks. Rocks for counting and not used as shells. So, who is going to own up?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by tbm3fan View Post
                            and there we have another senior moment.

                            So before the abacus there were rocks. Rocks for counting and not used as shells. So, who is going to own up?
                            Amateurs. I'm surrounded by a bunch of amateurs.

                            You want old?
                            Are you sure, because I don't think you can handle old.

                            OK.

                            I can read, and write ... cursively.

                            wait for it

                            wait for it


                            By hand.

                            *mike drop*
                            Trust me?
                            I'm an economist!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Dor
                              The big question I have is "Who did you piss off so bad that you got sent to Orlando?"
                              Human Scum. Proud Never Trumper

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