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  • Oracle
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  • Double Edge
    Yeah America...explain

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  • Double Edge
    This month is dedicated to the PM of UK- it's in her honour that we name this month !!

    Her legacy is is to teach her dog Breks to sit !!
    Last edited by Double Edge; 05 May 19,, 15:50.

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  • tankie
    I was having sex with a girl last night. We did it doggy style and it lasted one hour and thirty minutes..

    That's two and a half minutes in human time.😂

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  • tbm3fan
    LOL, a Tanky through and through...

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  • tankie
    A Tanky wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

    The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

    The tanky was impressed.

    The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much..

    Again, the tanky is impressed.

    The third invests the money in the stock market She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

    Obviously, the tanky was impressed.

    The tanky thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

    Then he married the one

    with the biggest tits.

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  • Double Edge
    All about Chowkidars

    Last edited by Double Edge; 12 Apr 19,, 21:59.

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  • Ramesh Suresh
    Originally posted by tankie View Post
    Tax explained in a way every one can understand ,,,,,,,,,cept yella n doc maybe ,this suits Ooe down to the last glenguzzleit ,and the other very wealthy one on board , Texas John . lol

    Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to 100...
    If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this...

    The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
    The fifth would pay 1.
    The sixth would pay 3.
    The seventh would pay 7..
    The eighth would pay 12.
    The ninth would pay 18.
    The tenth man (the richest) would pay 59.

    So, that's what they decided to do..

    The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve ball.

    "Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by 20". Drinks for the ten men would now cost just 80.

    The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes.

    So the first four men were unaffected.

    They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men?
    The paying customers?

    How could they divide the 20 windfall so that everyone would get his fair share?

    They realised that 20 divided by six is 3.33. But if they
    subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.

    So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by a higher percentage the poorer he was, to follow the principle of the tax system they had been using, and he proceeded to work out the amounts he suggested that each should now pay.

    And so the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% saving).

    The sixth now paid 2 instead of 3 (33% saving).

    The seventh now paid 5 instead of 7 (28% saving).

    The eighth now paid 9 instead of 12 (25% saving).

    The ninth now paid 14 instead of 18 (22% saving).

    The tenth now paid 49 instead of 59 (16% saving).

    Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But, once outside the bar, the men began to compare their savings.

    "I only got a pound out of the 20 saving," declared the sixth man.

    He pointed to the tenth man,"but he got 10!"

    "Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a pound too. It's unfair that he got ten times more benefit than me!"

    "That's true!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get 10 back, when I got only 2? The wealthy get all the breaks!"

    "Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison, "we didn't get anything at all. This new tax system exploits the poor!"

    The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

    The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had their beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

    And that, boys and girls, journalists and government ministers, is how our tax system works.

    The people who already pay the highest taxes will naturally get the most benefit from a tax reduction.

    Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore.

    In fact, they might start drinking overseas, where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

    David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.
    Professor of Economics.

    For those who understand, no explanation is needed.
    For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible
    Unusually long joke. Like a story.

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  • Double Edge
    Military Apologizes For Bombing A New Year's Eve Tweet

    U.S. Strategic Command is charged with controlling the nation's nuclear operations, but conceded it missed the mark with a New Year's Eve tweet comparing the famed ball drop to a B-2 bomber dropping weapons.

    "TimesSquare tradition rings in the #NewYear by dropping the big ball...if ever needed, we are #ready to drop something much, much bigger,Watch to the end! @AFGlobalStrike @Whiteman_AFB #Deterrence #Assurance #CombatReadyForce #PeaceIsOurProfession ...”" read the now-deleted tweet from Stratcom's official account.

    A slick video accompanied by pulsing music showed a bomber soaring through the air and releasing two conventional — not nuclear — weapons. "Stealth," "Ready" and "Lethal" flash across the screen in all capital letters. The video concludes with an explosion flashing into a huge fireball.

    The backlash was swift, and by early Monday evening the unified command of four military branches had removed the tweet, issuing a mea culpa.

    In the hours the tweet was up, Twitter users reacted with confusion and contempt, some with alarm, calling its message disgusting, grotesque and terrifying.

    Former Office of Government Ethics Director Walter Shaub Jr., a sharp critic of the Trump administration who resigned in July 2017, posted a screengrab of the original tweet, asking,"What kind of maniacs are running this country?"

    But other Twitter users defended the message, saying it was funny, that it actually gave assurances of safety and there was no need to apologize.

    The reconsidered reminder of U.S. military might came as tensions with North Korea bubbled up once again.

    “Peace is our Profession” is Strategic Command’s motto.
    Last edited by Double Edge; 07 Apr 19,, 20:46.

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  • Double Edge
    No headaches here

    There was a young girl named Sapphire
    Who succumbed to her lover's desire.
    She said, "It's a sin,
    But now that it's in,
    Could you shove it a few inches higher?"

    On the breasts of a barmaid from Sale,
    Were tattooed the prices of Ale.
    And on her behind,
    For the sake of the blind,
    The same information in Braille.

    There was a young plumber from Lee,
    Who was plumbing a maid by the sea.
    Said the maid: `Cease your plumbing,
    I think someone's coming.'
    Said the plumber, still plumbing: `It's me.'

    Said a nun as the bishop withdrew,
    "This must be our final adieu,
    For the vicar is slicker,
    And thicker and quicker,
    And two inches longer than you."

    There was a queen of Serbia
    Who's bush grew hairier and hairier
    Till the prince from Peru
    Who came for a screw
    Had to hunt for the cnut with a terrier.

    A certain monk in Siberia,
    Had morals rather inferior.
    He did to a nun
    What none could have done
    He made her a Mother Superior.

    A lovely young lady from Croft
    Used to pleasure herself in the loft;
    She reasoned that candles
    Could cause no scandals,
    Besides they didn't get soft.
    Last edited by Double Edge; 21 Mar 19,, 14:58.

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  • tankie
    God Said,
    "Adam, I want you to do something for Me."
    Adam Said, "Gladly, Lord, what do You Want me to do?"
    God Said, "Go down into that Valley."
    Adam said, "What's a valley?"
    God explained it to him.
    Then God said, "Cross the River."
    Adam said, "What's a River?"
    God explained that to him, and then said, "Go over to the Hill....."
    Adam said “What is a Hill?"
    So, God explained to Adam what a hill was. He told Adam, "On the other side of the Hill you will find a Cave."
    Adam said, 'What's a Cave?'
    After God explained, He said, "In the cave you will find a woman."
    Adam said, "What's a Woman?'
    So God explained That to him, too.
    Then, God said, 'I Want you To Reproduce."
    Adam said, "How do I do That?"
    God first said (under His breath), "Geez....."
    And then, just like everything else, God explained that to Adam, as well.
    So, Adam goes down Into The valley, across the river, and over the hill, into the Cave, and finds the Woman.
    Then, in about five minutes, he was back.
    God, His patience wearing thin, said angrily, "What is It Now?"
    And Adam said....
    "What's a fucking Headache? ����

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  • Double Edge
    All about accents, suid afrikan ones

    and others

    Last edited by Double Edge; 15 Mar 19,, 01:28.

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  • Double Edge
    I call this the Trudeau effect. High bar set the worlds leaders must follow suit. If you want to remain relevant then you have to be noticed.

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    Soon India will have to decide whether we want this guy back or not. Canada is facing the same question as well.
    Last edited by Double Edge; 09 Mar 19,, 23:27.

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  • Double Edge
    Seen on the intar webs

    25% of Muslims are pissfools because they..
    1. Abuse and tourture their wives and force own thoughts on them.
    2. Marry their sisters(cousins) and can have 4 wives.
    3. Hate and eventually kill someone because he doesn't believe in your religion and practices.
    4. Torture animals to death for meat.
    5. Hate other religions especially jews..
    6. Doesn't allow their women to be independent.
    7. Treat wives as child manufacturing factory.
    8. Restriction of female to wear to their wish.. Batman costume/ black tent is forced on them.
    9. Move to west and radicalized their population.

    reply: You just described Alabama

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  • Oracle

    Brie Larson. Women of my dreams. Anybody who has or is planning to hack her snapchat account. I need those nudes. I'll pay. There is no women as glamorous as her. As pretty as her. As *damn* as her. Women of my dreams. She is so hot, I see her in my 'react(.js)' code these days.

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