Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Post Your jokes here

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Double Edge
    replied
    Click image for larger version

Name:	home discomforts.jpeg
Views:	2
Size:	184.6 KB
ID:	1478893

    Leave a comment:


  • DOR
    replied
    The Liar Tweets Tonight

    Priceless!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkU1ob_lHCw

    Leave a comment:


  • Double Edge
    replied
    You ever find american english more specific

    Leave a comment:


  • Oracle
    replied

    Leave a comment:


  • Oracle
    replied
    Click image for larger version

Name:	WhatsApp Image 2020-04-23 at 3.53.38 PM.jpeg
Views:	2
Size:	110.6 KB
ID:	1478876

    Leave a comment:


  • Double Edge
    replied
    ^
    7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.
    Love this one : D

    Leave a comment:


  • DOR
    replied
    Never Squat on Your Spurs

    Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash in Alaska with bush pilot Wiley Post, was one of the greatest sages, political, homey, and country/cowboys that America has ever known.

    Some of his sayings:

    1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

    2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

    3. There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

    4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

    5. Always drink upstream from the herd.

    6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

    7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.

    8. There are three kinds of men:
    The ones that learn by reading.
    The few who learn by observation.
    The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

    9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

    10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

    11. Lettin' the cat outta’ the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.

    12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.

    The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

    ABOUT GROWING OLDER...

    First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

    Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

    Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me; I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren't paved.

    Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

    Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

    Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

    Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it's such a nice change from being young.

    Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

    Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable and relaxed.

    Tenth ~ Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.

    And, finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old.

    Leave a comment:


  • DOR
    replied
    COVID 19 Lockdown


    It’s the kind of person you meet who’s always standing much too close
    Center of a crowd, coughing too loud, with a running nose.

    Well, it seems to me that you should have heard we don’t do that no more
    And though you've tried you just can't hide your infectious roar.

    You better stop being around.

    Here it comes, here it comes, here it comes, here it comes
    Here comes our COVID-19 lockdown.

    When you were a child you were vaccinated
    But you don’t think that was right.
    No mumps or measles got to you but still you cried all night.

    Your mother who protected you is owed a million thanks
    And your father's still expecting you to pull some hare-brained pranks.

    You better stop being around.
    Here it comes, here it comes, here it comes, here it comes
    Here comes our COVID-19 lockdown

    Oh, Don's to blame, that boy’s just insane
    Everything he do don't seem to work
    It only seems to make matters worse, oh please.

    You’re such a tool to believe that fool who really trolls your kind
    Kellyanne Conway turned your back on the scientific mind.

    Dr Fauci tried so hard to rationalize your mind
    But after a while I realized you’re the disparaging kind

    You better stop being around.
    Here it comes, here it comes, here it comes, here it comes
    Here comes our COVID-19 lockdown

    You better stop being around.
    Here it comes
    Here comes our COVID-19 lockdown
    Here comes our COVID-19 lockdown
    Here comes our COVID-19 lockdown
    Here comes our COVID-19 lockdown
    Here comes our COVID-19 lockdown
    Here comes our COVID-19 lockdown


    With apologies to Keith Richards and Mick Jagger

    Leave a comment:


  • Double Edge
    replied
    Business Idea

    Leave a comment:


  • Double Edge
    replied
    Click image for larger version

Name:	only way.jpg
Views:	2
Size:	71.6 KB
ID:	1478816

    Click image for larger version

Name:	market distancing.jpg
Views:	1
Size:	51.8 KB
ID:	1478819

    Click image for larger version

Name:	masks.jpg
Views:	3
Size:	272.9 KB
ID:	1478817

    Click image for larger version

Name:	suggestion medals.jpg
Views:	2
Size:	117.1 KB
ID:	1478818
    Last edited by Double Edge; 12 Apr 20,, 19:27.

    Leave a comment:


  • Double Edge
    replied
    Quality time with the family

    Leave a comment:


  • Double Edge
    replied
    Nicola sturgeon parody



    An earlier version



    Spoiler!


    Spoiler!
    Last edited by Double Edge; 10 Apr 20,, 18:03.

    Leave a comment:


  • DOR
    replied
    Everyone was so quiet in the medicine factory you could hear a cough drop.

    Leave a comment:


  • DOR
    replied
    2020: Basic hygiene
    2021: Turn signalling

    Leave a comment:


  • HKDan
    replied
    Click image for larger version

Name:	IMG_8186.JPG
Views:	1
Size:	61.5 KB
ID:	1478767

    Leave a comment:

Working...
X