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  • Dear Mr Cameron

    How easy is this ;)



    Letter to Mr. Cameron - Genius!!

    Dear Mr. Cameron,

    Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK 's economy.

    Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.
    You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
    There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
    Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

    1) They MUST retire.
    Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

    2) They MUST buy a new British car.
    Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

    3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
    Housing Crisis fixed

    4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
    Crime rate fixed

    5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
    And there's your money back in duty/tax etc

    It can't get any easier than that!

    P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

    If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
    Also.....

    Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

    This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

    They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.

    They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

    Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

    A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.

    They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

    They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.

    Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.

    Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.

    Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

    There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

    The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

    Think about this (more points of contention):

    COWS
    Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria?

    And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.


  • #2
    Another one?

    You are so stubborn
    No such thing as a good tax - Churchill

    To make mistakes is human. To blame someone else for your mistake, is strategic.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Doktor View Post
      Another one?

      You are so stubborn
      And persistant :slap:

      Comment


      • #4
        Ya got it all wrong Tankie. The government has to bail out the "too big to fail" corporations so the money stays at the top and the poor working shlubs get to finance the whole shindig. Giving money to the rank and file would give them independence and they might break free from the government's teat. Can't have that.
        Removing a single turd from the cesspool doesn't make any difference.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by bonehead View Post
          Ya got it all wrong Tankie. The government has to bail out the "too big to fail" corporations so the money stays at the top and the poor working shlubs get to finance the whole shindig. Giving money to the rank and file would give them independence and they might break free from the government's teat. Can't have that.
          Sad but true , cant have the rank n file climbing from the gutters can we

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by tankie View Post
            Sad but true , cant have the rank n file climbing from the gutters can we
            The powers that be would never allow that. Our government threw out 1.5 trillion (give or take) for economic stimulus and it all went to the top or doled out via government control. If they had doled that out to the people using 80,000,000 taxpayers as who to give it to, it would have amounted to $18,750 a person. That money would have immediately been used to pay off debt, ie mortgage, credit card, etc and those at the top, the banks, would still have gotten their money but EVERYONE would have been bailed out. For a lot of people 18,750 is close to a full years salary. Those not getting any stimulus would have lamented not filing their taxes.
            Removing a single turd from the cesspool doesn't make any difference.

            Comment


            • #7
              I hate to be a spoil sport, but has anyone considered the unintended consequences?

              1) A substantial portion of the most highly skilled and productive part of the work force (over 50s) steps down. Economic growth plunges.

              2) The price of a new British car becomes unaffordable to anyone not required by law to buy one. The British auto industry has a brief spurt of growth and then dies.

              3) The price of buying a new home goes (*ahem*) through the roof. Banks are suddenly flooded with profits from early pre-payment penalties, loaded with cash from paid-off mortgages that cannot usefully be employed elsewhere and therefore start looking for investments more risky than mortgages. The banking sector has a brief spurt, and then dies.

              4) Hundreds of thousands of 15-49 years olds are suddenly plucked out of their jobs and forced back into school/college/university (remember: we’re talking about the kids of people at least 50 years old, right?) The education system collapses, followed shortly thereafter by the economy.

              5) The over 50s waste their money on government-directed purchases of alcohol and tobacco , which are then resold to those who want it, thereby undermining the tax system.
              Trust me?
              I'm an economist!

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by DOR View Post
                I hate to be a spoil sport, but has anyone considered the unintended consequences?

                1) A substantial portion of the most highly skilled and productive part of the work force (over 50s) steps down. Economic growth plunges.

                2) The price of a new British car becomes unaffordable to anyone not required by law to buy one. The British auto industry has a brief spurt of growth and then dies.

                3) The price of buying a new home goes (*ahem*) through the roof. Banks are suddenly flooded with profits from early pre-payment penalties, loaded with cash from paid-off mortgages that cannot usefully be employed elsewhere and therefore start looking for investments more risky than mortgages. The banking sector has a brief spurt, and then dies.

                4) Hundreds of thousands of 15-49 years olds are suddenly plucked out of their jobs and forced back into school/college/university (remember: we’re talking about the kids of people at least 50 years old, right?) The education system collapses, followed shortly thereafter by the economy.

                5) The over 50s waste their money on government-directed purchases of alcohol and tobacco , which are then resold to those who want it, thereby undermining the tax system.
                Why....you sound almost....conservative...
                "Only Nixon can go to China." -- Old Vulcan proverb.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by DOR View Post
                  1) A substantial portion of the most highly skilled and productive part of the work force (over 50s) steps down. Economic growth plunges.
                  You mean those of us who knows how to shovel shit and don't sneer down on manual labour and would welcome a ditch worker or a bank vice president into our homes as one and the same since both lived in our community>

                  Originally posted by DOR View Post
                  2) The price of a new British car becomes unaffordable to anyone not required by law to buy one. The British auto industry has a brief spurt of growth and then dies.
                  Those of us who actually knew that you buy a car on your own money and not on credit?

                  Originally posted by DOR View Post
                  3) The price of buying a new home goes (*ahem*) through the roof. Banks are suddenly flooded with profits from early pre-payment penalties, loaded with cash from paid-off mortgages that cannot usefully be employed elsewhere and therefore start looking for investments more risky than mortgages. The banking sector has a brief spurt, and then dies.
                  Oh gee, like today when my friends around me have to start paying to take care of their grandchildren?

                  Originally posted by DOR View Post
                  4) Hundreds of thousands of 15-49 years olds are suddenly plucked out of their jobs and forced back into school/college/university (remember: we’re talking about the kids of people at least 50 years old, right?) The education system collapses, followed shortly thereafter by the economy.
                  Oh wow, kids have to learn how to shovel shit for a living.

                  Originally posted by DOR View Post
                  5) The over 50s waste their money on government-directed purchases of alcohol and tobacco , which are then resold to those who want it, thereby undermining the tax system.
                  Reselling? I ain't going to sell my $500 bottle of scotch for $10.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by DOR View Post
                    I hate to be a spoil sport, but has anyone considered the unintended consequences?
                    You may have overlooked a few facts...
                    1) A substantial portion of the most highly skilled and productive part of the work force (over 50s) steps down. Economic growth plunges.
                    Most employees have subordinates, who know their jobs just as well - so they grow in position and are happy. 10 million happy people :)
                    2) The price of a new British car becomes unaffordable to anyone not required by law to buy one. The British auto industry has a brief spurt of growth and then dies.
                    The manufacturing capacity of the British car industry is approx 1.4 to 1.5 million cars per annum (excluding other commercial vehicles). Of this 75% is exported overseas. Hence, the new demand will make work for the next 7-8 years and increase the value of 2nd hand car sales in UK.

                    3) The price of buying a new home goes (*ahem*) through the roof. Banks are suddenly flooded with profits from early pre-payment penalties, loaded with cash from paid-off mortgages that cannot usefully be employed elsewhere and therefore start looking for investments more risky than mortgages. The banking sector has a brief spurt, and then dies.
                    No, the investments are made in domestic industry or opportunities in emerging markets.
                    4) Hundreds of thousands of 15-49 years olds are suddenly plucked out of their jobs and forced back into school/college/university (remember: we’re talking about the kids of people at least 50 years old, right?) The education system collapses, followed shortly thereafter by the economy.
                    The school/colleges going population would be till they are 18-19, the rest will be filling the vacancies created by the 10 million who retired.

                    5) The over 50s waste their money on government-directed purchases of alcohol and tobacco , which are then resold to those who want it, thereby undermining the tax system.
                    The reselling would be done by the Indian Gujarati community - that is something you cannot stop

                    Cheers!...on the rocks!!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Maybe I should have quoted Tankie’s original letter to David Cameron, because some of you seem to have missed the points.

                      Dear Mr. Cameron,

                      Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK 's economy.

                      Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.
                      You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
                      There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
                      Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
                      I’ll try once again, with some additional detail:

                      1) They MUST retire.
                      Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed
                      1) A substantial portion of the most highly skilled and productive part of the work force (over 50s) steps down. Economic growth plunges. [add] The people who train and manage less experienced workers all, to a man, leave the job.

                      OoE, there’s nothing in the proposal that says only people in bad or evil jobs have to retire; it says everyone over 50 gets the offer.
                      lemontree: Most employees have supervisors who keep and eye on things and step in to correct mistakes. Take them away and quality control dies.

                      2) They MUST buy a new British car.
                      Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed
                      2) The price of a new British car becomes unaffordable to anyone not required by law to buy one. The British auto industry has a brief spurt of growth and then dies. [add] 10 million people buying cars at the same time drives the price up, and anyone wanting to sell a used car suddenly finds there are no buyers. Normal demand resumes only several years later.

                      OoE: There’s nothing in the original that says the car should be bought with borrowed money.
                      lemontree: Thanks for adding the point that auto exports collapse, driving the current account balance further into the red.

                      3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
                      Housing Crisis fixed
                      3) The price of buying a new home goes (*ahem*) through the roof. Banks are suddenly flooded with profits from early pre-payment penalties, loaded with cash from paid-off mortgages that cannot usefully be employed elsewhere and therefore start looking for investments more risky than mortgages. The banking sector has a brief spurt, and then dies. [add] See cars above.

                      OoE: This is about property, not elderly or child care.
                      lemontree: Mortgages are traditionally a conservative part of a balanced lending portfolio. Take it away and either the portfolio shrinks – that’s not about to happen – or the money moves into more risky, less balanced investments.

                      4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
                      Crime rate fixed
                      4) Hundreds of thousands of 15-49 years olds are suddenly plucked out of their jobs and forced back into school/college/university (remember: we’re talking about the kids of people at least 50 years old, right?) The education system collapses, followed shortly thereafter by the economy.

                      Both: We’re talking about the off-spring of people who are at least 50 years old. I was out of grad school when my folks turned 50, but this proposal would require me to leave the workforce and go back to school. If my folks were 80, I’d have to abandon my job mid-career.

                      5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
                      And there's your money back in duty/tax etc
                      5) The over 50s waste their money on government-directed purchases of alcohol and tobacco , which are then resold to those who want it, thereby undermining the tax system. OoE: Everyone who doesn’t drink or smoke wastes money on things they don’t want. They then do the obvious thing and turn around and sell it to someone who wants it. The result is a supply glut that drives down prices and since these are private sales, there’s no additional tax revenue beyond the first tranche..
                      Trust me?
                      I'm an economist!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by DOR View Post
                        lemontree: Most employees have supervisors who keep and eye on things and step in to correct mistakes. Take them away and quality control dies.
                        Quality control is ensured by a process not by individuals. One supervisor goes and another takes his/her place.

                        lemontree: Thanks for adding the point that auto exports collapse, driving the current account balance further into the red.
                        How so?...the exports remain due to the demand, the increased domestic demand may only lead to lower production costs due to increased volumes. Cheaper British cars will be very competitive in the European market for sure.

                        lemontree: Mortgages are traditionally a conservative part of a balanced lending portfolio. Take it away and either the portfolio shrinks – that’s not about to happen – or the money moves into more risky, less balanced investments.
                        You may have a point here.

                        Both: We’re talking about the off-spring of people who are at least 50 years old. I was out of grad school when my folks turned 50, but this proposal would require me to leave the workforce and go back to school. If my folks were 80, I’d have to abandon my job mid-career.
                        I feel the proposal is to remove those "unoccupied" with constructive work into a relm where they either learn or work. No one working will be forced back into school.
                        Last edited by lemontree; 12 Sep 13,, 10:52.

                        Cheers!...on the rocks!!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          This is getting way too serious for something that is intended to be a mockery.
                          No such thing as a good tax - Churchill

                          To make mistakes is human. To blame someone else for your mistake, is strategic.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Doktor View Post
                            This is getting way too serious for something that is intended to be a mockery.
                            Lol...

                            Cheers!...on the rocks!!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              lemontreee,

                              1. Show me an incompetent person in charge of a good quality control program and I’ll show you a quality control program with problems.

                              2. Remember all those 10 million people required to buy cars? And the 1.4 – 1.5 million cars actually produced? Well, once the domestic market is satisfied, only then will the automakers return to the export market. Of course, they could add massive amounts of capacity, but that would be useful only until the distorted domestic demand returns to normal (after soaring beyond reason and then dropping way below trend). And that, my friend, would be dumb.

                              And, since the labor force has been decimated, the cost of labor is going to shoot up, which will make exports uncompetitive.

                              3. As for the requirement to put off-spring into school, my point was that this is badly thought out and badly written. Entertaining, but economic nonsense.

                              I agree: too serious.
                              Trust me?
                              I'm an economist!

                              Comment

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