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How to fix the UK

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  • How to fix the UK

    S0ooooooooooooooooooo true

    .Dear Mr. Cameron,

    Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK's economy.

    Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

    You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

    There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.

    Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

    1) They MUST retire.

    Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

    2) They MUST buy a new British car.

    Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

    3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -

    Housing Crisis fixed

    4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -

    Crime rate fixed

    5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....

    And there's your money back in duty/tax etc

    It can't get any easier than that!

    P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

    If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.


    Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

    This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

    They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.

    They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

    Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

    A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.

    They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

    They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.

    Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.

    Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.

    Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

    There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

    The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

    Think about this (more points of contention):


    Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria?

    And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

  • #2
    As all the farmers are packing the job in, is there enough cows in the Country to go around? :)


    • #3
      A few reside in Darlington m8y


      • #4
        Originally posted by tankie View Post
        A few reside in Darlington m8y


        • #5
          Originally posted by dave lukins View Post
          Indeed ,theres a few in toronto as well :biggrin


          • #6
            Now that is a cunning plan :)

            Seriously, what are the major problems that UK faces today?


            • #7
              Originally posted by Versus View Post
              Now that is a cunning plan :)

              Seriously, what are the major problems that UK faces today?
              Jeez , how long ya got ??????????????


              • #8
                All hit it!:)


                • #9
                  Welllllllllllll theres more in other threads but lets start by saying the country is goverend by public schoolboys who are out of touch with reality , we are not an empire now , but still we send millions to 3rd world countries while cut backs in military and ultra high energy prices are crippling the UK , thats just for starters .
                  Last edited by tankie; 26 Jun 11,, 15:48.


                  • #10
                    So are you saying that the govt is acting like UK is still an empire while common people pay the price? That is the worse case scenario. If people feel hopeless they start to feel threaten and if they feel threaten they start to feel aggressive and they look for guidance, usually at the govt. But if they don't see or feel guidance, than the despair sets in, than disappointment and whole thing spirals down to a very unpredictable situation. I see that as threat for the whole structure of the society. I think that it would be nice to store the glorious past into the museum and embrace reality of today. That is the only way to have future tomorrow.
                    But enough of poetic talk. The energy is the main issue here. Energy is the driver and the foundation of all things so resolving that issue is a "must do first" on the to do list.
                    Unless you want to be dependent on the outside sources, there are ways how to get over this without too much losses. First one would be to localize the living arrangement, meaning stopping sprawl and congesting urban settlements to a level where they can meet their needs form the local sources. Both in energy, food and water. This would mean investing more in the local communities, small cities and villages. I don't know what is the relationship between large urban areas and the smaller ones in the UK. If the big cities suck everything in, you will end up basically in the feudal system a decade from now.

                    I am talking about this from the peak oil predicament point of view, meaning that our lives will change rapidly in the times ahead and I happen to believe that the sooner the reality is grasped the better chance we have for the survival tomorrow.
                    Last edited by Versus; 25 Jun 11,, 19:41.


                    • #11
                      In one .


                      • #12
                        "The trap of the past" is the syndrome that we experienced here. It is the most backward direction one nation could take. I found the back to the roots saying, particularly funny. Have you ever saw an oak or any other plant that went that way? I didn't and I don't think that it can do that. The roots are foundation and the trunk always goes upwards never downwards. Past is a good thing to have, in terms of experience, culture, heritage but if it becomes a burden than it is a threat. And if it becomes a goal than it becomes the disaster. I look at it as a vault, from which we take things that can help us in overcoming the problems we encounter, but more than once situations accrue where new tools need to be constructed since the old, trusty ones have no effect. I am sad to hear that, that is the main issue for a country that has always been a progressive one and I am quite frighten with that.
                        Last edited by Versus; 25 Jun 11,, 21:03.


                        • #13
                          Baasicly the current Government here is concerned with only one thing; cutting the deficit. While this is certainly needed the slash and burn methods emploted make long term planning (other than finicial forecasting) impossible.


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by snapper View Post
                            Baasicly the current Government here is concerned with only one thing; cutting the deficit. While this is certainly needed the slash and burn methods emploted make long term planning (other than finicial forecasting) impossible.
                            Too much too soon. Now he is slashing the MoD to the bone. Let's see what is left when the dust settles. ;)


                            • #15
                              Dya know nuts , i reckon the thread starter will work quite well ;)