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Easter egg hunt gone bad

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  • Easter egg hunt gone bad

    3 eggs found, 18 lieutenants lost at base Easter egg hunt

    FORT HUACHUCA, Ariz. — An Easter egg hunt for students in the Military Intelligence Basic Officer Leadership Course resulted in 18 lost Lieutenants, a base-wide lock-down and search, and several dozen rancid Easter eggs, the base chaplain reported today.

    “I thought an Easter egg hunt would be a treat for the new Lieutenants,” said Maj. Kenneth Raniere, Military Intelligence Center of Excellence Chaplain. “I didn’t expect that when I set up 20 dozen easter eggs in the Wheeler Field House that more than half the LTs would wander out into the hot desert sun and never return. It defies all logic that they could go so far off course in such a controlled exercise.”

    Chaplain Raniere had set up the same event at the New Beginnings Child Development Center the previous day. The classroom of mixed three and four-year-olds found all 20 dozen Easter eggs and still had time to make bunny ear headbands before activity hour ended.

    The search for the lost lieutenants has halted base operations while all personnel assigned to Fort Huachuca try to draw the lost lieutenants out of hiding with promises of new Sperry Topsiders, crisp Vineyard Vines polo shirts, and icy cold White Claws.

    “I’ve got a new copy of Once an Eagle you can read!” Command Sgt. Major John Palmer called out while looking. “Come on out little guy. I’m not gonna hurt you. I might even tell you about The Kill Chain and wouldn’t it be nice to tweet about that? Just come on out. I promise I won’t make you leave the air-conditioned classroom again.”

    Although the lieutenants are slowly being rounded back up and returned to their enclosures at the Horned Toad Bar and Grill, at least one managed to create an international incident. A lieutenant was found on the Mexican border sunburned, with no boots, holding a fluffy pink Easter basket and repeatedly mumbling, “I was the battalion commander at Michigan State University ROTC.”
    "How could they go so far off course"
    I've asked myself that same question on many exercises

    Last edited by Gun Grape; 05 Apr 21,, 04:19.

  • #2
    Rumor has it that their instructor was a Marine Field Artillery Gunnery Sergeant whose teaching skills were reflected in the success of his students....
    “Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.”
    Mark Twain


    • #3
      Ft Huachca, Pogue Intel base. No self respecting enlisted man, Marine or Army, would ever be stationed there.

      Notice stuff like that doesn't happen at Sill.


      • #4
        Oh I know all about Fort Hwe-gotcha!

        My 1st wife was an MI officer. I spent 2 months as a dependent there in FEB-MAR 81 while she was in training and I was waiting for my report date at Benning. Absolute squirrel farm. The only cool guys at the O Club were the Mohawk pilots. They tried to recruit me but I wasn't looking to fly a prop plane over Germany during World War 3...I had a better life expectancy as a grunt 2LT!
        “Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.”
        Mark Twain


        • #5
          There was of course the Motto of the Gunnery Dept at Sill concerning substandard students

          "It's not the student that failed to learn . It is the Instructor that failed to teach".


          • #6
            Ahhh, Fort Huachuca.

            I had a TDY out there once, escorting a ROK delegation. That group usually visited INDOPACOM but said that year they were "tired of Hawaii".

            well we were all wondering why the hell they would ask to go to Ft Huachuca for the meeting...then we found out the ROKAF Major General head of delegation had some very oddly specific requests for what he wanted for the "cultural day".

            he wanted to visit Tombstone.

            he wanted to attend a "cowboy shootout".

            and on that glorious day, we had the general show up in leather chaps, ten gallon hat, (empty) pistol holsters, and cowboy boots...with a shit-eating grin that made it pretty obvious that he was fulfilling a dream he had since he was, oh, 9.
            There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there has always been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that "My ignorance is just as good as your knowledge."- Isaac Asimov