Stories!

[sappersgt]

Wow Sapper, he must have been one hell of a prick.

He was just who he was. You have to remember that the US (along with everyone else) was boycotting South Africa. You learn not to take it personally even if they try to make it so. In this case I parlayed a commendation into a transfer to a unit that didn't care if you were Dutch, English, American or even Canadian. The Sappers were only concerned with how good of a soldier you were. That's why we collected so many Americans. We of course made the Canadians honorary Americans for the Super Bowl party.;)

[Blademaster]

The US was not really boycotting South Africa. She and UK refused to slap sanctions on South Africa as Rajiv Gandhi wanted to do during the Commonwealth meeting but Margaret Thatcher refused to do so. She was a hypocrite for refusing to do so.

[glyn]

The US was not really boycotting South Africa. She and UK refused to slap sanctions on South Africa as Rajiv Gandhi wanted to do during the Commonwealth meeting but Margaret Thatcher refused to do so. She was a hypocrite for refusing to do so.

I'm not sure why you are posting on the thread for military professionals and making blatantly political comments, but that is not the place to do so.

[Blademaster]

Glynnie,

My apologies for ruffling your dandy feathers. Let me rephrase what I have said in order to soothe your ruffled feathers: it is certainly a shame that Margaret Thatcher did not come out strongly as she could have since it leaves a very undesirable impression of British solidarity with other cultures and minorities.. How's that for tact?

Let me add to the stories threat in a more positive way. Here's a link to an interesting story in the life of the Army recruit barracks.

Boys 2 Men

[furkensturker]

Jack Schitt

AT LAST AN ANSWER TO THIS AGE OLD QUESTION: WHO IS JACK SCHITT??

The lineage is finally revealed!

Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "You don't
know Jack Schitt".

Now you can intellectually handle the situation...
Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schittt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Kneedeep & Schitt Inc.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children : Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt and the twins,, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt
divorced.
Noe Schitt later married Mr Sherlock, and because her kids were living with
them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt
Sherlock.

Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout their childhood and subsequently married the Happens brother in a double wedding ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new bride, Piza Schitt.

So now if someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt" you can correct them.
Not only do you know Jack, you know his whole family too!

True story.

Freddie

[Zaphael]

A stupid prank we pulled while in Basic Military Training.

This happened in the middle of our 7 day field-camp out in the weeds. Throughout this camp, we had no access to showers, and the only way to stay "clean" was through this process called "powder bath" which happens at sun down.

What happens is that we'd all strip down to our briefs and powder ourselves with this white, "minty" powder all over, and even under our briefs. As you can imagine, not everyone appreciates the sensation this powder causes under there, and the sergeants would have to ensure that we do powder our "privates."

We'd queue up, 4 sections in front of our respective sergeants, walk up to him, pull the briefs OUTWARDS, and release it. (we call this ease spring-squeeze trigger) Nice big cloud of powder comes out, we pass and head back into clothes and call it a night. We fail, we'd end up doing that over and over again.

So there was this ONE guy, a clueless chap who didn't quite get into the platoon's good books. So instead of telling him the right way to be "inspected", we told him to head over to the sergeant, pull his briefs DOWN and release it so that the sergeant can be sure he powdered well.

So as he walked up to the sergeant, all of us took a step back.... all "Giggling" away like a bunch of school girls. Our sergeant looked at us wondering what nonsense we were up to, only to turn around to the chap's exposed crown jewels that went PLOP-POOF!!

I wish I could explain the local expletives that he hurled at us for that stunt, and the endless threats of confinement. We escaped though, cos our sergeant major thought it was pretty funny.

[SnowLeopard]

...... the Travel Officer turned around to my buddy and said, "sorry, sir but there was a mixed up at the airport. I couldn't get you on the flight but I did get you your bus tickets.

"But that's a 42 hour bus ride!!!!!"

"Yes, Sir, and your bus leaves in 20 minutes. You better hurry."

Reminds me of the disbursing officer on my ship. I had just gotten an apartment out in town, put in for my allotments which service rumor had took forever. The disbursing officer was in Hack in home port on the ship. As an officially feel sorry load but a personally bribe, I gave him a six pack, about 18 movies, of porn films.

Geee, that allotment turned up quick!
_______________________________________________
("The extra money is for .....,"--Jonathan Hemlock
".....my inconvenience."--forger, (w,stte), Trevanian's "The Loo Sanction")

[Guest]

A Night on the Town

Trying to come up with one story out of many is one that is ridiculously hard to do.

I have many, but one that sticks out usually is on my first tour in Germany. I suppose it sticks out because there aren’t too many stories from my first tour that I remember. I think I was drunk most of my first tour. What do you expect from a 17 year old loose in Germany? I was still under 21 when I came back to the USA.

OK, here’s the deal. My roommate and I are out on the town after a long day at the railhead preparing to go to Grafenwoehr. We had the rest of the day and night to “prepare” to go to Graf. This usually meant packing the rest of your crap for the field, but since we already took care of that, we decided to prepare ourselves properly.

We spent the night into the wee hours of the morning drinking Mannheim dry. We stumbled our drunk asses back to the barracks, just in time to grab our gear and get on the train.

There was one small problem. My roommate couldn’t walk without assistance from me. As we approached the barracks, I had to let go of him in order to open the door and go grab our gear. When I let go of him, I propped him up against the vehicle stopping post, there’s usually two at each door. As I let go he spun around the post like a cork screw until he hit the ground. Almost cartoon like.

So our drunk asses had to make it from the barracks to the train with all our gear. Plus I had to carry his ass on top of it.

We made to the train in time, barely. Luckily for us, the military trains in Germany have the last priority, so it takes around 12 to 15 hours to make the trip. The cars we had were the sleeper cars, where the seats come out and three can sleep comfortably on the pulled together seats. Plus there were bunks that came out above that.

My roommate decided that the best place for him was under the main bunk on the floor. For the whole trip to Graf, whenever we lit up a smoke, all we would see is a hand come up between the seats with fingers spread for a smoke. Someone would light a smoke , stick it in his hand and we wouldn’t see it again for hours until we had another smoke.

The long trip to Graf gave us time to sober up and a hell of a kick start to a long field problem.

20 years in the Army and I still remember that particular drunk fest and follow on movement to Graf. I guess the biggest thing that sticks out is my roommate sticking his hand up through the seats for a smoke.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

[Southie]

I was reading through the stories last night and decided to post this.

While I was stationed at Tyndall AFB, Panama City, FL, I went to the Leadership School there. We had two flights - Talon and (can't remember the other flight), but anyway, there was this one guy, "Rock" that was in the other flight. He wanted to hang out with the Talon flight, which we agreed on, but only after we "initiated" him.

So, one day while he was taking a shower, a couple of the girls got a bucket of ice and dumped it over the shower rod on top of him. You could the screech down the hall. He was a little pissed, but I think was also enjoying the "fun". He wrapped his towel around him and ran to his room. We were hiding in the hall, laughing as he was frantically trying to turn the door knob, which we had greased up with vaseline. Finally after wiping it off with his towel, he proceeded to open the door which kept springing shut on him. We had taken an elastic belt and tied it to the door knob inside his room and the other end was secured on his desk. He finally got the door open enough to cut the belt and get into his room. When he came out, laughing, he stupidly told us he was going to the NCO club to cash his check and get some food. No problem.

While he was out, we got into his room, and took his bed apart. Piece by piece we carried it out to the parking lot, where we reassembled it in the spot he always parked his truck, making sure that it was in "inspection" order. You could bounce a quarter on it! We then put his favorite baseball cap on top of the pillow and an orange cone in front so he wouldn't slam into the bed, or at least hope he would see the cone and slam his brakes on. The whole time we were moving the pieces out to the parking lot, the instructors were outside fixing sprinkler heads. I hung out with them and their families on the weekends, and they just looked at me, shook their heads and said "Denise, we don't even want to know!" :)) I just smiled and told them it was all under control!

When Rock returned, we were in the day room, watching out the window as he pulled up! He did slam on his brakes, got out of his truck and just shook his head. We then watched as he started taking his bed back inside, ROTFLOAO!!!! He hung out with us after that because he was definitely a good sport!

The other flight was "Eagle" I believe. Not sure if it really mattered. :))

[Foremost]

I was reading through the stories last night and decided to post this.

While I was stationed at Tyndall AFB, Panama City, FL, I went to the Leadership School there. We had two flights - Talon and (can't remember the other flight), but anyway, there was this one guy, "Rock" that was in the other flight. He wanted to hang out with the Talon flight, which we agreed on, but only after we "initiated" him.

So, one day while he was taking a shower, a couple of the girls got a bucket of ice and dumped it over the shower rod on top of him. You could the screech down the hall. He was a little pissed, but I think was also enjoying the "fun". He wrapped his towel around him and ran to his room. We were hiding in the hall, laughing as he was frantically trying to turn the door knob, which we had greased up with vaseline. Finally after wiping it off with his towel, he proceeded to open the door which kept springing shut on him. We had taken an elastic belt and tied it to the door knob inside his room and the other end was secured on his desk. He finally got the door open enough to cut the belt and get into his room. When he came out, laughing, he stupidly told us he was going to the NCO club to cash his check and get some food. No problem.

While he was out, we got into his room, and took his bed apart. Piece by piece we carried it out to the parking lot, where we reassembled it in the spot he always parked his truck, making sure that it was in "inspection" order. You could bounce a quarter on it! We then put his favorite baseball cap on top of the pillow and an orange cone in front so he wouldn't slam into the bed, or at least hope he would see the cone and slam his brakes on. The whole time we were moving the pieces out to the parking lot, the instructors were outside fixing sprinkler heads. I hung out with them and their families on the weekends, and they just looked at me, shook their heads and said "Denise, we don't even want to know!" :)) I just smiled and told them it was all under control!

When Rock returned, we were in the day room, watching out the window as he pulled up! He did slam on his brakes, got out of his truck and just shook his head. We then watched as he started taking his bed back inside, ROTFLOAO!!!! He hung out with us after that because he was definitely a good sport!

The other flight was "Eagle" I believe. Not sure if it really mattered. :))

The bit about the bed reminded me of when I was in the RAF, I came in one night, didn't switch the lights on so's not to disturb the guys, went to my bed space, no bed, so I thought like wtf, I couldn't find it so I switched all the lights on & hollered WAKEY WAKEY! not a twitch, they must have heard me so I started tipping them out of bed starting with the guy's next to mine, he muttered alright already its behind the wardrobe!!, what they'd done was to dismantle it & stuff it & the bedding behind a huge communial wardrobe of course they'd all been faking sleep so they laughed, got it out for me, put it back together & made it up, we all ended up sitting round the table in the middle drinking beer til around 3am, & we had to be on parade in four hours, groan

[Southie]

The bit about the bed reminded me of when I was in the RAF, I came in one night, didn't switch the lights on so's not to disturb the guys, went to my bed space, no bed, so I thought like wtf, I couldn't find it so I switched all the lights on & hollered WAKEY WAKEY! not a twitch, they must have heard me so I started tipping them out of bed starting with the guy's next to mine, he muttered alright already its behind the wardrobe!!, what they'd done was to dismantle it & stuff it & the bedding behind a huge communial wardrobe of course they'd all been faking sleep so they laughed, got it out for me, put it back together & made it up, we all ended up sitting round the table in the middle drinking beer til around 3am, & we had to be on parade in four hours, groan

I had the best time in the military!

And the camaraderie here on the WAB reminds me so much of my military time! :))

[Foremost]

I had the best time in the military!

And the camaraderie here on the WAB reminds me so much of my military time! :))

Hmmm, Tech Sergeant, n-i-c-e!, Master Sergeant next I believe?, when's that gonna happen d'you think?

[Southie]

Hmmm, Tech Sergeant, n-i-c-e!, Master Sergeant next I believe?, when's that gonna happen d'you think?

It won't. I'm retired from the AF. If I had concentrated more on my studies I might have retired as a MSgt, but I was at the point where I wanted to spend more time with my kids and I was ready after 20 years to be a full-time mom. Enjoyed my time in the service very much! Sometimes I miss it very much.

[Foremost]

It won't. I'm retired from the AF. If I had concentrated more on my studies I might have retired as a MSgt, but I was at the point where I wanted to spend more time with my kids and I was ready after 20 years to be a full-time mom. Enjoyed my time in the service very much! Sometimes I miss it very much.

Sorry didn't notice that, also, a big oops, I didn't realise you were a woman, hope I didn't cross boundaries somewhere along the line, you should have a pic of yourself as your avatar, or has that been already suggested? my guess is that it has ha ha!
I'm always respectful to the opposite sex, it was the way I was brought up, in the street I loath it when old guy leers at passing women, when I first met my future wife, she told me that when I'd kissed her goodnight & she boarded the bus, it was quite full & she had to sit next to an old man [she had just turned 19] he wore a grubby raincoat which he opened &, you've guessed it, he flashed her, she rang the bell to stop the bus & got off, it was pouring with rain, there was no shelter, & in the scramble to get off she'd left her umberalla on the bus, it was winter & very cold & that put her in bed for a week, I was beside myself, I vowed that if I could find him, I'd hack it off with a blunt knife, this happened 53 years ago but I've never forgotten it, & they're still doing it today, in my book they're worse than kerb callers!!, grrrr!

[Southie]

Sorry didn't notice that, also, a big oops, I didn't realise you were a woman, hope I didn't cross boundaries somewhere along the line, you should have a pic of yourself as your avatar, or has that been already suggested? my guess is that it has ha ha!
I'm always respectful to the opposite sex, it was the way I was brought up, in the street I loath it when old guy leers at passing women, when I first met my future wife, she told me that when I'd kissed her goodnight & she boarded the bus, it was quite full & she had to sit next to an old man [she had just turned 19] he wore a grubby raincoat which he opened &, you've guessed it, he flashed her, she rang the bell to stop the bus & got off, it was pouring with rain, there was no shelter, & in the scramble to get off she'd left her umberalla on the bus, it was winter & very cold & that put her in bed for a week, I was beside myself, I vowed that if I could find him, I'd hack it off with a blunt knife, this happened 53 years ago but I've never forgotten it, & they're still doing it today, in my book they're worse than kerb callers!!, grrrr!

No boundaries crossed whatsoever! I don't have my picture taken that often. This is a few years old but I look pretty much the same.