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Dammit; I was going from memory, and I got one little detail wrong: the Confederate officer wasn't COMMANDING the forces that killed his son; he was a staff officer in the action, and was present when his son received his mortal wounds.
This is a WAY obscure incident, but one of the most poignant moments in a Civil War which saw such enormous tragedy.
The battle that saw this human disaster also was noteworthy for several OTHER notable facts:
The officer in the question was a general in a pre-war state militia, but only a major in the battle in which his son was killed, because that state was not in the Confederacy.
The son was second-in-command of one of the units enagaged, and his commanding officer was also killed.
That battle was fought on New Year's Day.
It saw what was very probably the youngest AND oldest (in uniform, anyway; hat-tip to John Burns) combatants.
A United States military unit was named in the son's honor.
A NORTHERN city was named for the father (a Confederate).
Both father and son graduated from different national military academies.
Some other noteworthy facts, but I'm late for lunch. :(
Major Albert Lea (West Point, 1831) was adjutant to Major General 'Prince John' Magruder (West Point, 1830) at the Battle of Galveston, 1 January, 1863.
His son, Edward (US Naval Academy, 1855), was executive officer on the USS Harriet Lane, commanded by Commander Jonathon Mayhew Wainwright. Both men were mortally wounded in the battle.
Albert Lea, Minnesota is named after the father; USS Lea (DD-118), a Wickes-class destroyer built in 1918 and served in both World Wars, was named after the son.
The father was a general in the Iowa state militia before the Civil war.
The oldest (69)and youngest(10) uniformed combatants in the Civil War likely served in the Battle of Galveston.
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