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  • Raunchy Jokes....Beware bnefore entering!

    A world famous baker, renowned for baking the best cookies in the world, set up shop in a small building. It's a weird neighborhood as his customers asks for the weirdest tasting cookies he's ever heard of, but he always delivered. Cookies that taste like meatloaf, cookies that taste like pineapple, cookies that taste like fish...he always delivered so he was rather pleased with his life like re-creations.

    One day a man walks in and asks to speak to the baker.

    "Hey I want you to bake me a cookie that tastes like p*ssy". the man says.

    The baker was stunned.

    "You heard me", the man says, "You're famous for creating realistic tasting cookies, and I want you to make my cookies taste like p*ssy!"

    The baker says, "OK...I don't know how to do it , but I'll make the cookies taste exactly like p*ssy."...

  • #2
    A week later, the man comes back and waits for his cookie.

    The baker brings out cookies on a dish and tells the man that this is the best he could do.

    The man takes a cookie and takes a bite out of it....and spits it out. "Yuuukk......hey man, I wanted my cookies to taste like p*ssy not shit....this cookie tastes like shit!", the man says in righteous indignantion.

    The baker says, "Hey, you have to bite the other side!"

    Comment


    • #3
      A guy is out with his girl at a bar , the girl goes to the bar (like all girls should) to get the drinks , she comes back furious , wassup says the guy ,,, that man at the bar said he would like to suck my t,ts , the bastard i will kill him he says ,, haa , thats not all she said , he wanted to stick his d,ck down my throat ,, right he says thats it ,, no no wait , thats not all , he said he wanted to shove his d,ck up my bum OMG he says , he,s fcukin dead ,, and stands up to go and smack him one ,, wait wait she says thats not all , he said he wanted to stand me on my head , fill my p,ssy full o beer and drink it all down in one go , huh says the guy and sits down looking sheepishly

      ( dont get any ideas pari)

      and drinks his beer , his G/F said , well what ya waiting for , go on , protect my honour

      Nahh says the guy












      Anyone who can drink that much beer has got to be tough

      Comment


      • #4
        "Daddy?" the kid asked his father. "Where did I come from?"
        "Ask your mother," he replied.
        "I did," the kid said. "But I don't think she was telling the truth. She
        said I came from a bucket."

        "Hmmmm," chuckled his dad.



        "That's about the size of it…"

        Comment


        • #5
          What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?






          Fur traders.

          Comment


          • #6
            A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young Mothers and their small children.

            'You all have obsessions,' he observed.

            To the first mother, Mary, he said, 'You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy.'

            He turned to the second Mom,
            Ann: 'Your obsession is with money.
            Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny.'

            He turned to the third Mom,
            Joyce: 'Your obsession is alcohol.
            This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy.'

            At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, 'Come on, Dick, we're leaving. Your brothers Peter and Willy are waiting for us.
            When our perils are past, shall our gratitude sleep? - George Canning sigpic

            Comment


            • #7
              This girl walks in to a doctors office and she asks "Whats a failic symbol?
              Doctor says "you're kidding.."
              Girl says "no! I don't know! Whats a failic symbol???"
              Doctor pulls his pants and underwear down and says "You see? This is a
              failic symbol!"

              Girl says "Oh! Its just like a prick ,


              only smaller"

              Comment


              • #8
                I have to admit guys...they are pretty good ones! lol
                “When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.” ~ Jimi Hendrix
                "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
                sigpic

                Comment


                • #9
                  The nervous young bride became irritated by her husband's lusty advances
                  on their wedding night and reprimanded him severely. "I demand proper
                  manners in bed," she declared, "just as I do at the dinner table."
                  Amused by his wife's formality, the groom smoothed his rumpled hair and
                  climbed quietly between the sheets. "Is that better?" he asked, with a
                  hint of a smile." "Yes," replied the girl, "much better." "Very good,
                  darling," the husband whispered.


                  "Now would you be so kind as to please pass the p,ssy."

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    This guy owns a horse stud farm, and gets a call from a friend
                    "I know this midget with a speech impediment who wants to buy
                    a horse, I'm sending him over."
                    The midget arrives, and the owner asks if he wants a male or
                    female horse.
                    "A female horth," the midget replies.
                    So the owner shows him one.
                    "Nith looking horth, can I see thea her mouth?"
                    So the owner picks up the midget and shows him the horse s mouth.
                    "Nith mouth. Can I see her eyesth?"
                    So the owner picks up the midget and shows the eyes.
                    "Ok, what about the earsth?"
                    Now the owner is getting pissed, but he picks up the midget one
                    more time and shows the ears.
                    "OK, finally, I d like to see her tw#t," said the midget.
                    With that, the owner picked up the midget and shoved his head up
                    the horse's tw#t, then pulled him out.
                    Shaking his head, the midget says, "perhapth I should rephrase.


                    I'd like to thee her run!"

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Those are very good tankie.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        The nervous young bride became irritated by her husband's lusty advances
                        on their wedding night and reprimanded him severely. "I demand proper
                        manners in bed," she declared, "just as I do at the dinner table."
                        Amused by his wife's formality, the groom smoothed his rumpled hair and
                        climbed quietly between the sheets. "Is that better?" he asked, with a
                        hint of a smile." "Yes," replied the girl, "much better." "Very good,
                        darling," the husband whispered.


                        "Now would you be so kind as to please pass the p,ssy."

                        You mean ther is manners involved?:));)
                        Fortitude.....The strength to persist...The courage to endure.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          A supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts, and a woman I
                          know intended to stock up. At the store, however, she was
                          disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the
                          poultry, so she complained to the butcher. "don't worry, ya ," he
                          said. "I'll pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the
                          time you finish shopping."

                          Several aisles later, my friend heard the butcher's voice boom over
                          the public-address system:



                          "Will the lady who wanted bigger breasts
                          please meet me at the back of the store."

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Downright hilarious .. ENGLISH woes :)

                            In a temple:
                            IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

                            Lounge:
                            LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

                            Doctor’s office:
                            WE’RE SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

                            Dry cleaners:
                            DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

                            hotel's rules:
                            GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIORS IN BED.

                            Restaurant:
                            OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

                            In a bar:
                            WE HAVE SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

                            Hotel:
                            HE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

                            Hotel:
                            YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

                            In a hotel:
                            YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

                            Airline ticket office:
                            WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

                            A laundry:
                            LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
                            sigpic Only the brave shall inherit the Earth.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              American pilots no longer have to fake French

                              In recent days the pilots go into action without Baguette

                              Mediterranean Sea, 1 April 2011. (News) - The decision of NATO to take command of military operations in Libya was met with widespread approval of American pilots, who no longer had the strength to act the French, "News" has learned from its sources at the Pentagon.

                              As originally only France participated in military action in Libya, all American planes were required to have French markings, while the U.S. pilots were forced to act as French - to many of them was hard.
                              No such thing as a good tax - Churchill

                              To make mistakes is human. To blame someone else for your mistake, is strategic.

                              Comment

                              Comedy Club

                              About this Group

                              A group dedicated to the refined art of the comedic interpretation of life in general and the timeless classical panache of the food fight.
                              Type: Moderated
                              Topics: 2
                              Comments: 158

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