Guys Rules

THL · 12-07-2005, 15:14 PM

Strange coming from a woman, I know...but funny (and I don't mind saying mostly true) anyway:

The Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.! That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Anon · 12-07-2005, 17:40 PM

Love it.

I have only one rule: "If you don't like it(me), leave".

Simple, simple.

**Parihaka** · 12-07-2005, 18:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TopHatsLiberal

.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

It also means you get a good nights sleep.

dalem · 12-07-2005, 18:13 PM

Another rule: 1. Don't forget the balls.

-dale

sparten · 12-08-2005, 07:18 AM

Quote:

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

Too damn true.

Monk · 12-08-2005, 13:14 PM

Yes Well. Not that any good is going to come off this. I hear some of your girl friends and wives calling.

**Julie** · 12-08-2005, 13:34 PM

Too many rules, and too complicated to operate.....I'd rather stay single.

And I do the sleeping on the couch. When I sleep on the couch, the kids KNOW dad is in BIG trouble.

**TopHatter** · 12-08-2005, 13:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Guys' Rules

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.! That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

This is a big one for me. Guys=problem solvers! It's how we think

Dreadnought · 12-08-2005, 14:33 PM

Is truely blessed with a woman who can overlook short comings as well as I can and isint afraid to say whats on her mind wether its a good time or not.( Perhaps because she's full Italian)

We do have a golden rule however.. No matter how mad we are we still sleep in one anothers arms every night we are together.

12-07-2005, 15:14 PM	#1 (permalink)
THL *Senior Contributor* Join Date: 06-23-05 Location: 35 minutes outside Chicago (please don't refer to it as "Chi-Town"...that's annoying) Posts: 5,655 Country:	Guys Rules Strange coming from a woman, I know...but funny (and I don't mind saying mostly true) anyway: The Guys' Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Men ARE NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.! That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. __________________ "To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are."-Sholem Asch "I always turn to the sports page first, which records people's accomplishments. The front page has nothing but man's failures."-Earl Warren "I didn't intend for this to take on a political tone. I'm just here for the drugs."-Nancy Reagan, when asked a political question at a "Just Say No" rally "He no play-a da game, he no make-a da rules."-Earl Butz, on the Pope's attitude toward birth control

12-08-2005, 13:14 PM	#6 (permalink)
Monk Cultural Attache *Senior Contributor* Join Date: 08-29-05 Location: Muscat, Oman Posts: 1,275	Yes Well. Not that any good is going to come off this. I hear some of your girl friends and wives calling. __________________ "Many forms of Government have been tried, and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of Government except all those others that have been tried from time to time. " "Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed." Sir Winston Churchill

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12-07-2005, 17:40 PM	#2 (permalink)
Anon New Member Join Date: 08-03-03 Posts: 1	Love it. I have only one rule: "If you don't like it(me), leave". Simple, simple.

12-07-2005, 18:13 PM	#4 (permalink)
dalem Lord High Hullabalooster *Senior Contributor* Join Date: 11-23-04 Location: Columbia Heights, MN Posts: 7,734 Country:	Another rule: 1. Don't forget the balls. -dale

12-08-2005, 13:34 PM	#7 (permalink)
Julie Moderator Join Date: 08-04-03 Location: Georgia, USA Posts: 6,071 Country:	Too many rules, and too complicated to operate.....I'd rather stay single. And I do the sleeping on the couch. When I sleep on the couch, the kids KNOW dad is in BIG trouble.

12-08-2005, 14:33 PM	#9 (permalink)
Dreadnought *Senior Contributor* Join Date: 05-12-05 Posts: 4,970 Country:	Is truely blessed with a woman who can overlook short comings as well as I can and isint afraid to say whats on her mind wether its a good time or not.( Perhaps because she's full Italian) We do have a golden rule however.. No matter how mad we are we still sleep in one anothers arms every night we are together.

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