The Great Chemtrails Troll

[Chogy]

For those who have never heard of Chemtrails, get ready... there are thousands if not millions of people around the world who believe that regular jet contrails are not what they appear. Rather than being innocent ice crystals and water vapor, those white lines in the sky are either...

A) Weather control chemicals
B) Mind-control or population control chemicals; or
C) both of the above.

Don't laugh. What started out as a loony ultra-fringe conspiracy theory now has die-hard acolytes who believe it is very, very real. Google "chemtrails" for an eyeful.

YouTube is full of supposed chemtrail proof. One day, being bored, I decided to comment on one of them:



I decided I wanted to tweak some sensibilities. Normally I do not troll. In fact, this is the first time I have ever done so. It has worked out beyond my expectations. Like all good trollings, I have mixed mostly truth with some outlandish lies. What I posted over a week ago under this video:

I am an airline pilot. I have been briefed on the Chemtrails Project, coded as "Arcturus." I have witnessed the tanks being filled in the mornings. I have turned on the pump that injects the chemicals into the fuel manifold. The high heat of combustion oxidizes the base chemicals into the active form, generally oxides of exotic transition elements.

I will probably be killed for coming out like this, but I can no longer stand by...

I then waited for the inevitable replies. Got some thumbs-up on my comment right away. Then, here come the replies...

So passenger jets full of people are doing this and the civilians on board have no idea?

Elevated levels of aluminum, barium and strontium have allegedly been documented in soil, water and blood as proof that chemtrails contain those elements. Yet Al, Ba and Sr are not transition elements. Indeed, the lines, pumps and tanks that would required for the system you describe would be noticed by mechanics during routine maintenance and inspections. Nice try, but your hoax has been exposed.

You're not an airline pilot. You're full of s**t. Say the type aircraft you fly and we'll have a detailed discussion of cockpit operations. What do you say?

Ohhhh yeah. A guy I can mess with...

I fly the 737-800. Let's go, buddy. Talk some cockpit ops with me. Want to discuss Oceanic ops? PANS-OPS? TERPS? Let's talk RNAV procedures. SIDS and STARS.  ILS Minima, CAT I, II, and III. RVSM Operations. Dispatch duties. Reserve fuel, alternate requirements.
Go for it. Please.

One guy in particular starts in on me and goes absolutely nuts. I can tell I have crawled into his skin a bit.

Project Arcturus?!!?!? LOLOL don't you guys watch the Simpsons???? My God but you lot are so easily taken in.. ROFLMAO
Hank Scorpio lives!!!!!

What part of the cockpit are the "chemical pumps" located? Where are the CB's located? What Bus are the "chemical pumps" powered from? What are the checklist items for failure of the "Chemical pumps"? How do you account for the change in aircraft weight after spraying on the loadsheet and flight plan? where is the inlet to the chem tank located?What are the transition elements you describe? hint: aluminium Barium and stontium are not transition elements so you are contradicting chemtrail theory.

Consider carefully your answer to the locations of various equipment. it is very easily disproved by anyone who flies the 737-800.

Project Arcturus???? Come on Hank Scorpio... let us know

More to follow...

[Chogy]

Do I feel juvenile? Of course. But these chemtrail idiots bother me almost as much as 9/11 "truthers".

Victim A must ponder my reply...

Not all 737's are equipped. The system is not permanently wired. The pump switch is bolted behind the FO, above his right shoulder, near the 120V 400Hz aux outlet. The pump is in the left wheel wheel near the ground APU fire/shutdn panel. There's plenty of room in the wheel wells, as you'd know if you're a 737 pilot. Checklist, etc of course there's none. Pilots briefed and operational execute the spraying between VOR's or Nav points on an as-needed, as briefed basis.

Weight/balance - I have no idea where the tanks are. I assume they are near the CG, like the wing tanks. Capacity is only 300 gallons/side. Fill port is disguised as a drip stick. Gross weight is ignored, kind of like using an "average" passenger weight to determine TO weight.

Pumps are powered by the left and right AC transfer buses. Elements - I was told Ruthenium and Halfnium, but I'm no chemist. Any more 737 questions?

To further clarify - I assume my credentials as 737 pilot check out. Very few jets have the equipment, and only a few % pilots are "briefed". All are ex-military. Spraying occurs when CA and FO are both briefed, and the route flown corresponds to a calculated master plan that we are not privy to. The flight plan has a coded message which tells us where to dump, usually between VOR's, sometimes LAT/LON.

Another guy pipes up, call him victim B. He's not quite as upset or disbelieving as victim A, but still very suspicious.

Wikipedia? Cute. Okay, what does the squawk code "8100" indicate?
Also, show me a picture of your airbus cockpit displaying the switch you "turned on".

My reply to this juvenile attempt at entrapment...

You cannot squawk 8100. Transponder codes don't go above 7's in the digit display. I don't fly a bus, I fly a Boeing 737. I have also flown the MD-80, MD-11, 727, 757, 767, and 777 over a 21 year career. Enough with the airliner quizzes. There is no "picture" of the switch because it technically doesn't exist. When installed, it is labeled "maintenance only" as are a half dozen other switches and ports in any cockpit.

I can tell others are concerned at an actual pilot confessing to crop-dusting entire populations with mind-altering chemicals.

They must recruit criminals with no sense of love in their heart to be the administrators of these poisons. Who else could say, "Yup!! I'll participate in murder and spray my fellow humans, with no sense of responsibility or concern for people's well-being". NO empathy or conscience!! How sad that any person would be selfish and insane enough to participate in spraying!! WAKE UP PILOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't be such zombies. STOP SPRAYING yourself, your families and the beautiful planet.

[TopHatter]

Let me just go on the record as saying that I despise trolls and trolling. It's what prompted me to become a Moderator in the first place.

But this...? I am practically wetting myself laughing

...these chemtrail idiots bother me almost as much as 9/11 "truthers".

And that's probably why I'm enjoying it so much. These feeble-minded fools are deserving of nothing but scorn and contempt...And a DAMN great troll job!

[Chogy]

I leave and go on a trip. While I'm gone over a day, victim A interprets my statement about "exotic transition elements" to mean we must fill these secret tanks with actual, solid or powdered METAL. So he goes right ahead and calculates how much 300 gallons od solid ruthenium would weigh.

Do you know how much 600 gallons of ruthenium and hafnium weighs? Do a quick check Hank, from your Wikipedia sources that you got the other info from. Then go away and play in the FSX forums. The APU panel is in the RIGHT wheel wheel and AUX outlet is on the lower wall. But none of that matters. 600 gallons doesn't sound like much does it? Enough to ignore for performance calculations, Hank? 600 Gallons of fuel weighs about 4000lbs. the same amount of water is 5000lbs. HAFnuim and Ruthenium have 13 TIMES the density of water. Therefore a solution of 600 gallons would weigh in the order of 75000lbs or almost half the MTOW of a 737-800. Still ignoring it "airline pilot" man?

Not only that but one 75000lb tank load would account for one and a half times the ENTIRE annual production of Ruthenium. Ruthenium and Hafnium are hard heavy metals which would destroy a jet engine in seconds, simply by abrasion, not to mention the heat of combustion. Go away you fraud and play with your model engines elsewhere.

I had posted videos of my hand-crafted and machined 9-cylinder radial aircraft engine. He obviously had looked me up on YouTube, to see what videos I had posted, and what sort of comments I had made on other video pages.

From the Hafnium MFDS (you know what that stands for don't you, Hank? "Explosive in powder form, either dry or wet with less than 25% water." You happy for that to be mixed in with your fuel, Hank Scorpio? What airline do you fly for so I know to avoid it and sue. Bet it starts with V for "virtual"

oops, he busted me on the spelling of the element "hafnium". I had spelled it "halfnium." He's done a bit of research, but he's wrong about the 737-800 APU panel.


Uh, no, in the 737-800, the ground shutoff/fire alarm for the APU is in the LEFT wheel well. Better recheck your sources. I can't believe you calculated the densities of Ruthenium. They don't fill the tank with SOLID METAL, it is a sol-gel slurry of Ruthenium and Ruthenium chloride in a heptane/octane carrier. The density of the mix is very close to jet fuel. The amount of transition elements in the tanks in terms of mass is quite low. A little goes a long way.

Glad you looked up my profile. It showed I comment in a number of professional pilot videos. When are you going to quiz me about cockpit ops? Are you even a pilot? Let me guess, general aviation. Those engines I machined by hand from bar stock. I'd be interested in seeing anything you've done 1/100th as skilled.

The fact remains that we are being poisoned, and I can no longer stay silent. I have already phoned CNN and FOX but they called me a nutjob.

Another concerned chemtrail advocate:

I'm not normally convinced towards this chemtrail stuff, but your comments do sound pretty convincing as credit to your own credentials. You do understand this all sounds pretty sci-fi, right? It's hard to believe this kind of stuff without something a little more concrete than simple white streaks in the air. A picture of the switch that doesn't exist, or a picture of these tanks getting filled, or a picture of this coded message speaks a thousand words if you are to convince people.

Now I'm starting to feel guilty. Some people are getting genuinely upset. At some point, I'll need to pull the plug on this. I plan on simply flat-out stating "Folks, there's no such thing as chemtrails. Trust me..." Yet how can they trust me now that I have trolled everybody so viciously?

Victim A PM'd me on YouTube:

Quote. "I was told Ruthenium and Halfnuim but I am not chemist" and then quote "it is a sol gel slurry of ruthenium and ruthenium chloride in a heptane/octane carrier". So we have dropped the reference to Hafnium now and all of a sudden you seem to know exactly what is in the mix? Hafnium too explosive for you was it? There is no point quizzing you on cockpit ops because most of it is available on the net. Professionals call the flight deck BTW. You may be a pilot.. But CNN and FOX got it just right.

My reply:

sigh - A dilute slurry of hafnium (or any other pyrophoric metal) in a hydrocarbon carrier like heptane or octane is no more flammable or explosive than the hydrocarbon itself.

They don't talk about what's IN there other than what I've mentioned. We have no need to know.

Cockpit - I've flown in COCKPITS since 1976 as a kid in a glider. I can call it whatever I want. Only dorks or Captains on a PA call it a "Flight Deck" because the word cockpit apparently has weird sexual overtones. Whatever. In normal conversation among real flight crew, it's a cockpit, always will be.

I've flown fighters and transports around the world since 1984. I was patrolling West Germany in an F-15 while you were probably watching Bugs Bunny in floppy foot pajamas. No offense, I watched Bugs Bunny too as a kid. Great cartoon!

So... how long do I keep going with this? I know we have some professional trolls on WAB. I actually feel guilty, and a little bad, about doing this.

[TopHatter]

So... how long do I keep going with this? I know we have some professional trolls on WAB. I actually feel guilty, and a little bad, about doing this.

I don't know about how long you should keep it up, but when you do confess, make sure that you clearly state your intentions: To make the chemtrail idiots look like...well, idiots. And gullible ones at that.

[Doktor]

Wait a minute it is not how the planes empty the toilets?

[bigross86]

This is an absolutely brilliant troll job on a wonderfully global scale. I am quite proud of you, good sir

[YellowFever]

Excellent job, my good sir.

You have confirmed my suspicions that a respectable professional can indeed be better trolls than a sixteen year old kid because you guys actually know what you're talking about.

[Albany Rifles]

You, Sir, are evil....and my hero.

In fact, you are the wind beneath my wings!

[Stitch]

Excellent job, my good sir.

You have confirmed my suspicions that a respectable professional can indeed be better trolls than a sixteen year old kid because you guys actually know what you're talking about.

Feeling a little jealous, Yeller? Chogy's a better troll than you are?

BTW, EXCELLENT job, Chogy! I'm reading this at work, and my co-workers are all looking at me funny as I try not to bust a gut!

[antimony]

For those who have never heard of Chemtrails, get ready... there are thousands if not millions of people around the world who believe that regular jet contrails are not what they appear. Rather than being innocent ice crystals and water vapor, those white lines in the sky are either...

A) Weather control chemicals
B) Mind-control or population control chemicals; or
C) both of the above.

Don't laugh. What started out as a loony ultra-fringe conspiracy theory now has die-hard acolytes who believe it is very, very real. Google "chemtrails" for an eyeful.

I don't know Chogy, maybe you have rightly kicked up a storm on fools but I have heard that chemtrails do contain amounts of a particulate form of a substance referred to Hydornium Hydroxide (HHO). For those unfamiliar with HHO, this is an excessively corrosive chemical often found in biopsies of pre-cancerous tumors and lesions and particulate forms of which can lead to skin and tissue damage on exposure. Certain forms of this can cause laryngospasm and sometimes death if inhaled. There have been cases where I have heard of pulmonary edema caused by accumulation of derivatives of this substance in the lungs and even hyponatremia in some extreme cases. Needless to day, acute cases of these conditions may lead to death.

What is not clear is what the effects may be when released into the higher atmosphere, but I do think this requires further study and not just a trivial, jocular response. Also, I am not suggesting that this is necessarily a conspiracy and may be due to the natural chemical processes of jet fuel combustion, but the fact remains that presence of this has been confirmed by multiple sources and needs further investigation.

[bigross86]

Someone posted this a while back on Facebook, and added the following story:

Good evening FB. My #1 issue...........probably the #1 issue on the planet is chemtrails. As a pilot, I have had a lifelong affinity with everything that moves in the sky. We have been sprayed like insects for 15 years now and as you see in the pic I've posted, some intrepid, courageous soul has provided the evidence as to how. Take a good gander and please pass it along far and wide. this must end. Peace

I took great pleasure in pointing out the fact that they are absolute idiots, bus as with most sheeple, they ignored me and painted me as "the man" almost immediately.

[Firestorm]

I don't know Chogy, maybe you have rightly kicked up a storm on fools but I have heard that chemtrails do contain amounts of a particulate form of a substance referred to Hydornium Hydroxide (HHO). For those unfamiliar with HHO, this is an excessively corrosive chemical often found in biopsies of pre-cancerous tumors and lesions and particulate forms of which can lead to skin and tissue damage on exposure.

Reading about the thermodynamics defying pakistani water car were you?

HHO is a supposed 2:1 oxyhydrogen mixture BTW not Hydronium Hydroxide.

H3O+(Hydronium ion) + OH-(hydroxide ion) ==> 2 H2O (water)

[antimony]

Reading about the thermodynamics defying pakistani water car were you?

HHO is a supposed 2:1 oxyhydrogen mixture BTW not Hydronium Hydroxide.

H3O+(Hydronium ion) + OH-(hydroxide ion) ==> 2 H2O (water)

Damn you Firestorm

I first thought of using DHMO, but that's too common a hoax now

[YellowFever]

Feeling a little jealous, Yeller? Chogy's a better troll than you are?

Hell yeah!

Not only is he a better troll than me, but he also flew an Eagle. And I heard his wife makes Bo Derek look like Woddy Allen.

I'm reading this at work, and my co-workers are all looking at me funny as I try not to bust a gut!

It's O K bud...we look at you funny, too.