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Reply With QuoteMaj,
Do you actually think us old farts need permission to do anything? We're old. We're mean. We don't give a damn. What are they going to do? Throw us in a cell and feed us 3 meals a day? What's the difference?
People don't expect replies from me for the next 1 year. Bye.Sir,
Request you for drafting guys over 60. There should be a revolutionary new direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down insurgents/terrorists. Today they are saying you can't be older than 42 to re-join the military. You have got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18 year olds off to fight, you ought to take us old...err...seasoned guys. Infact, you should'nt be allowed to join a military unit until you are at least 35.
For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys have'nt lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. My back hurts! I cant sleep, I'm perpetually tired and hungry. We dinosaurs are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole in some "Stan", that desperately deserves, will make us feel better and shut us up for a while. An 18-year-old doesnt even like to get up before 10am. Us oldies always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, Im tired and cant sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch after gulping few pegs of my favourite scotch. If captured I couldnt spill the beans because I would forget where I put them.
In fact, my name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser. Boot camp would be easier for us guys. We are used to getting screamed and yelled at and we are used to soft food. We have also developed an appreciation for guns. I've been using them for hunting deers for years now, as an excuse to get out of the dog-house, away from the screaming and yelling of Her Majesty.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I have been an engineer and in active combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I have never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He is still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head. These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harms way. Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward insurgents/terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, which know that their best years are already behind them.
Sir, I would also bring this splendid idea to your attention - How about recruiting Women over 50 in menopause! You would think men have attitudes, Oh my God! You must meet Julie. Though it must be obvious to you already, if you had ever developed my kind of appreciation for the likes of Celin Dion or Chez Mado. If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They will have it secured the first night!
Request you to kindly reconsider my case and oblige.
Thanks and warm regards,
Colonel Wayland Yu.
Last edited by Deltacamelately; 26 Apr 12, at 11:21.
And on the sixth day, God created the Field Artillery...
Maj,
Do you actually think us old farts need permission to do anything? We're old. We're mean. We don't give a damn. What are they going to do? Throw us in a cell and feed us 3 meals a day? What's the difference?
Chimo
Sir,Originally Posted by Officer of Engineers
Absolutely correct.
a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier
Erm... you would get 1-2 more meals per day.
No such thing as a good tax - Churchill
To make mistakes is human. To blame someone else for your mistake, is strategic.
Wait...wait....
The Colonel thinks about sex at least twice a day?????
Eewwww....
That's sacrilegious , man.
That's like saying The Batman thinks about sex every so often.
More than that if you count how many ways I can f_uck you up.
Chimo
Yellow
Old American saying....
When you are in a hole, put the shovel down.
Right now you are strapped to a pop up target on a tank range.....don't make The Colonel confirm zero!
Remember that it is the Actions and not the Commission that make the Officer and that there is More expected from him than the title. – GEORGE WASHINGTON
I've already got him sighted dead center, lazed for range and confirmed. Ammo is up and the loader's got the next round waiting. S2 is also probably getting a call for fire for effect as we speak
Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Abusing Yellow is meant to be a labor of love, not something you sell to the highest bidder.
People,
We have to give Yellar a sporting chance. I'll grab my hockey stick. Buck, go get your baseball bat. Steve can whipped his fly rods. JAD can swing his golf clubs. Ben, I don't know ... grab a tennis racket? You can spank Yellar with it.
Chimo
Hmmm. Shouldn't a gangbang have at least one chick?
Give Julie a baseball bat.
You volunteering??
(Hey tarek....you thnk I can get a digging emoticon? I seem to be doing such a god job at it like AR said.....)
Then Yello wouldn't have a sporting chance...
And what's wrong with comparing the Colonel to Batman?????
At least I didn't compare him to Wonder Woman....
JULIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I missed you :(
umm, er, well, you know the rumors about Batman and Boy Wonder ???And what's wrong with comparing the Colonel to Batman?????
At least I didn't compare him to Wonder Woman....
Yeah, yeah, right...
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