A Female by Another Name.......

[Debbie]

Yesterday's "Broad" Is Today's Kick-Ass Woman
By Meta Wagner, PopMatters
Posted on April 30, 2008, Printed on April 30, 2008
Yesterday's "Broad" Is Today's Kick-Ass Woman | AlterNet

What ever happened to broads? You know, those larger-than-life women who swore like sailors, threw back shots of whiskey, sounded like they'd swallowed whole packs of cigarettes, and aged without apology.

Mae West was a pioneer broad back in the 1930s, tossing out double entendres in a saucy tone that left no mistake as to her meaning. Some of the most famous and infamous women over the next several decades followed her lead, surprising and delighting men and women alike with their in-your-face attitude, among them the actress Roslyn Russell (Auntie Mame), the Broadway "belter" Ethel Merman, the controversial playwright Lillian Hellman, the feminist leader Bella Abzug (the one with the ubiquitous hat), and the former governor of Texas Ann Richards and her pal the columnist Molly Ivins. Sadly, they are no longer with us. But their legacy remains.

It's amazing to me how the quips Mae West famously uttered still serve as quotable quotes today: "Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?" "When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better." "A man in the house is worth two in the street." Now, that's a broad!

Half a century later, at the 1988 Democratic National Convention, Ann Richards delivered one of the best lines in all of American politics when she said of then-Republican presidential nominee George H. W. Bush, "Poor George. He can't help it. He was born with a silver foot in his mouth." Only a broad could pull off a line like that -- and make it seem unrehearsed and natural.

I hate the term '*****' (unless Tina Fey's using it), but I really like the term broad. I don't know what the official definition is in the Oxford Dictionary of Offensive and Non-Offensive Terms Describing Women, but here's what I have in mind. Today's broad:


Would never be caught speaking the words "that's hot."


Doesn't own any pairs of Manolo Blahniks.


Uses salty language, especially around men.


Developed her brain and talents and flirtiness, in part because she couldn't coast on her looks alone.


Doesn't watch her cholesterol or have her body mass index measured.


Can probably be found right now in a back room somewhere playing poker and smoking cigars with the boys.


Can kick your ass, and mine.


Is not the librarian with glasses and her hair in a bun who then tosses her glasses and shakes out her hair to lure a man. She's the librarian. Period.


She's not the superhero/martial arts heroine who beats the guy at his own game and then lets him "take" her. She's the one who beats the guy at his own game. Period.


Knows who she is, and so no one would think of asking her to be something she's not.

Does anyone today fit the definition? I can think of a few women who were once broads but have since forfeited the title. Back in the late '70s when Bette Midler was performing bawdy routines in gay bathhouses, she certainly acted the part. But a real broad doesn't sign multi-picture deals with Disney or, worse, slim down and dye her hair blonde or, even worse, straighten it.

Etta James, the great and gritty rock and blues singer, fit the bill...until she underwent gastric bypass surgery around five years ago and lost 200 pounds. Now, I know it was probably lifesaving and I'm happy for her, but a broad simply doesn't do things that are good for her health.

Roseanne once qualified, but a broad can't have multiple personalities; one alone is more than sufficient.

Rosie O'Donnell could still be one but for a serious drawback: broads don't blog, especially in haiku.

So, who's going to follow in the footsteps of the great broads? Or, are we seeing the last of a breed? I fear we may be.

Broads can only thrive under certain social conditions, and those conditions, alas, no longer exist. For this species of woman to flourish, society must have an appreciation for: a zaftig figure, not just supermodel skinniness; age and the attitude it brings, not only youthful naïveté; hard-won lines and a range of expressions on a woman's face, not a Botoxed-into-submission look; unabashed ethnicity, not homogeneity; men that can stand toe-to-toe with a strong woman, not be cowed by her; the truth, not political correctness.

It's sad to think that a certain female archetype is simply disappearing, perhaps never to return. But, maybe yesterday's broads, and the modern climate change, have given rise to a new female form: the kick-ass woman.

That would be: Helen Mirren, Christiane Amanpour, Tina Fey, Melissa Etheridge, Sarah Silverman, and not least Queen Latifah, who comes closer to the broads of yesteryear than just about anyone. Sure, kick-ass women may avoid trans fats and teeter around on ridiculously high heels at red carpet events, but they know who they are, and so no one would (or at least should) think of asking them to be something they're not. I bet they'd make Mae West proud.

PopMatters, the #1 independent online arts and culture magazine, is international in scope and dedicated to documenting our times and promoting cultural understanding. Find more PopMatters content at PopMatters.

Meta Wagner writes the "Vox Pop" column for PopMatters. Her published pieces include written commentaries, features, and profiles for Salon, Boston Globe Magazine, Chicago Tribune, The Christian Science Monitor, and other publications.

© 2008 PopMatters All rights reserved.
View this story online at: Yesterday's "Broad" Is Today's Kick-Ass Woman | AlterNet

[Southie]

I think one actress that fits the "Broad" title would be Kathleen Turner! I love her voice!!! Very sultry sounding.

[dalem]

Wow. I couldn't disagree more with that article. The author must be gay.

-dale

[Albany Rifles]

Originally Posted by dalem

Wow. I couldn't disagree more with that article. The author must be gay.

-dale

http://http://www.alternet.org/authors/8073

No, the author would be a woman.

[HistoricalDavid]

(Southie should enjoy this. )

The other end of the spectrum:

YouTube - House Season 2 Extras Valley Girl Take 2

[Debbie]

Originally Posted by dalem

Wow. I couldn't disagree more with that article. The author must be gay.

-dale

You are just upset since broads aren't the kind who would be in the kitchen making you apple pie in heels and pearls.

[Albany Rifles]

Amazing. Kathleen Turner is who I was thinking of while reading the article!

[dalem]

Originally Posted by Albany Rifles

http://http://www.alternet.org/authors/8073

No, the author would be a woman.

Same thing.

-dale

[dalem]

Originally Posted by Debbie

You are just upset since broads aren't the kind who would be in the kitchen making you apple pie in heels and pearls.

Mmmm, apple pie.

Seriously though, the author's concept of "strong women" i.e "broads" is skewed. Mae West was who she was to men because she had a giant rack and was not afraid of it. Sarah Silverman is a foul-mouthed little firecracker, but she's also beautiful and funny. Rosie O'Donnel is a fat pig with the intellectual capacity of a dried turd - no man is inviting her in for cigars.

-dale

[THL]

Originally Posted by dalem

Rosie O'Donnel is a fat pig with the intellectual capacity of a dried turd - no man is inviting her in for cigars.

-dale

Isn't Rosie a lesbian? Would she even go in for cigars?

Seriously. I think that a nice balance between femininity and being "real" is nice. Women that can hang out with the men and still get along with the women are what I think I would want if I were a woman chasing man.

The woman that cooks for the superbowl party and then attends it herself as well.

The girl the guys want to take on a date, but know that she'll knock them out if they try something too funny with her.

The gal who is not afraid to get dirty - while wearing a dress and heels.

The one who can keep the entire house, and its occupants, in order while still making the man feel as though she needs him around (whether she actually does or not is irrelevant

[gunnut]

Originally Posted by Debbie

You are just upset since broads aren't the kind who would be in the kitchen making you apple pie in heels and pearls.

She doesn't have to be in heels.

[Exarecr]

If this post had been started by a male,I suppose the defecation would have hit the oscillation for sure. Sadly, even to poke a little fun at women these days is a sure one way trip to the sensitivity office.Unfortunately, today's women are lost in a sea of self-appointed syndromes and legislated gender laws that are as stifling as they are petulantly anti-male. Female responsibility has been replaced by a culture of victimhood ,that hypothesis's all crimes committed by women are because of external forces that have been thrust upon them by societal influences(usually caused by men of course). Broadly speaking, maybe it's time women cleaned up their own back yard before they presume to tell others to do the same......."phew"...nice to vent once in a while.

[Debbie]

Originally Posted by gunnut

She doesn't have to be in heels.

Does she have to wear the pearls?

[Gun Grape]

Originally Posted by Debbie

Does she have to wear the pearls?

The ZZ Top pearl necklace come later

edit: Running for cover now.
But I've been wanting to post something on this thread all day. Couldn't hold it in any longer

[Debbie]

Originally Posted by Exarecr

If this post had been started by a male,I suppose the defecation would have hit the oscillation for sure. Sadly, even to poke a little fun at women these days is a sure one way trip to the sensitivity office.Unfortunately, today's women are lost in a sea of self-appointed syndromes and legislated gender laws that are as stifling as they are petulantly anti-male. Female responsibility has been replaced by a culture of victimhood ,that hypothesis's all crimes committed by women are because of external forces that have been thrust upon them by societal influences(usually caused by men of course). Broadly speaking, maybe it's time women cleaned up their own back yard before they presume to tell others to do the same......."phew"...nice to vent once in a while.

As a woman I have allowed you to vent your spewage, taking the responsiblity for my self-appointed syndrome of greatness and allowing for the fact that my sensitivity office has closed for the evening. However, I could go and commit a crime and then blame it on the post above as my external force. I did happen to clear the backyard this evening of all traces of dog poo since I try to keep up with the city legislation and quite frankly I did tell the dog who is male to stop leaving piles of this stuff, but he disagreed. I then tried to stifle him, but he barked and from what I could hypothesize, he was trying to tell me that he was a victim of improper societal toilet training brought on by my lack of female responsibilty.