Post Your jokes here - Page 67

standoh · 05-17-2008, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GAU-8

wow! feels like home!

jame$thegreat · 05-19-2008, 21:01 PM

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER - MODERN VERSION

There are two Versions - Read Both

TRADITIONAL VERSION :
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

MODERN VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome. Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Nancy Pelosi, John Kerry & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer! The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be very careful how you vote in 2008!

texasjohn · 05-21-2008, 20:58 PM

Kama Sutra - IT style

cirrrocco · 05-22-2008, 09:19 AM

where is glyn, is he okay, I dont seem him posting any more jokes??

dave lukins · 05-22-2008, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cirrrocco

where is glyn, is he okay, I dont seem him posting any more jokes??

Sadly the "Old Sage" has left the WAB.

He still "lurks" so hopefully he will return one day

cirrrocco · 05-22-2008, 14:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dave lukins

Sadly the "Old Sage" has left the WAB.

He still "lurks" so hopefully he will return one day

Oh damm that sucks, I enjoyed his posts. I wonder what happened??

dave lukins · 05-22-2008, 14:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cirrrocco

Oh damm that sucks, I enjoyed his posts. I wonder what happened??

Yes, I think most people enjoyed his Posts and he is surly missed.

Blademaster · 05-22-2008, 15:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dave lukins

Yes, I think most people enjoyed his Posts and he is surly missed.

I enjoyed most of his posts although we had tiffs with each other and my beef with his behavior towards Ray some time ago.

I enjoyed his jokes immensely.

dave lukins · 05-22-2008, 16:22 PM

Wabbers I do see that Glyn has posted on the Intro

that's a good sign

glyn · 05-22-2008, 16:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dave lukins

Yes, I think most people enjoyed his Posts and he is surly missed.

You can be as surly as you want Lukins. I have returned.

dave lukins · 05-22-2008, 16:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glyn

You can be as surly as you want Lukins. I have returned.

Surly? surely not

I knew those miscreants on the RTR would drive you mad

Scotsman · 05-22-2008, 16:51 PM

I have always loved this one.....

GAU-8 · 05-22-2008, 17:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glyn

You can be as surly as you want Lukins. I have returned.

Good to see you back Glyn.

**Officer of Engineers** · 05-22-2008, 22:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glyn

You can be as surly as you want Lukins. I have returned.

Mr Lukins is a cross dresser?

BTW, welcome back Glyn ... but such a low shot.

**Parihaka** · 05-23-2008, 00:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glyn

You can be as surly as you want Lukins. I have returned.

Dammit Tophatter, you've left the door to the Lubyanka open again

05-19-2008, 21:01 PM	#992 (permalink)
jame$thegreat *Senior Contributor* Join Date: 11-24-04 Location: Brooklyn, New York Posts: 1,024 Country:	THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER - MODERN VERSION There are two Versions - Read Both TRADITIONAL VERSION : The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself! MODERN VERSION The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.' Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome. Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake. Nancy Pelosi, John Kerry & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share. Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer! The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients. The ant loses the case. The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood. MORAL OF THE STORY: Be very careful how you vote in 2008! __________________ Sometimes things dont end up how they should, a son, a brother, a mentor, a teacher, a cousin, a nephew, a grandson and a god in my eyes. Who knows what he more could have been... Christopher Muzykant April 9, 1976-November 4,2005 My Brother, Always and forever

05-22-2008, 09:19 AM	#994 (permalink)
cirrrocco Patron Join Date: 04-21-05 Posts: 253 Country:	where is glyn, is he okay, I dont seem him posting any more jokes?? __________________ women make your hard parts soft and your soft parts hard. Sex is like hacking. You get in, you get out, and you hope you didn't leave something behind that can be traced back to you

05-22-2008, 16:51 PM	#1002 (permalink)
Scotsman Regular Join Date: 05-20-08 Location: Kent, England Posts: 30 Country:	Cold Callers beware!! I have always loved this one.....

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05-22-2008, 16:22 PM	#999 (permalink)
dave lukins *Military Professional* Join Date: 01-04-07 Location: cheshire uk Posts: 4,547 Country:	Wabbers I do see that Glyn has posted on the Intro that's a good sign

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