Post Your jokes here - Page 49

Blademaster · 11-24-2007, 02:10 AM

That was sick...

**Officer of Engineers** · 11-24-2007, 02:21 AM

But you watched it to the end.

Blademaster · 11-24-2007, 02:25 AM

To my ever lasting regret.

**Officer of Engineers** · 11-24-2007, 02:29 AM

You mean to tell me you did not know what was coming?

Blademaster · 11-24-2007, 02:36 AM

Yes I did in a way but then again I have cat's curiosity.

tankie · 11-26-2007, 04:09 AM

A commuter train travelling to Londonistan was making good time for a change , when all of a sudden the lights went out , bumping and grinding , and the passengers were thrown all about , after 5 minutes all was again normal , when the train pulled into the station a disgruntled passenger went to see the driver to complain ?
Ahh yes , verry sorry about that Sahib , says the Sikh driver , but there were 2 Pakistanis on the tracks ??

The man looks at him and says,, good grief man that shouldnt have caused the rough ride we all encountered for 5 minutes ?

Ah yes says the driver , they ran off through the woods when they saw us coming , but we still managed to get them

tankie · 11-26-2007, 04:12 AM

Oil shortage ,,

Apparently the UK oil supply is running low , and the obvious answer is geographical ? no,one cared to check ? the oil fields are in the North sea ?

And the dipsticks are in London .

glyn · 11-26-2007, 05:47 AM

Prince Charles decided to take up jogging.

Every day, he'd jog past a hooker standing on the same street corner.

He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow.

'One hundred and fifty pounds!' she'd shout from the curb.

'No! Five pounds!' He would fire back, just to shut her up.

This ritual between him and the hooker became a daily occurrence.

He'd run by and she'd yell, 'One hundred and Fifty pounds!'

He'd yell back, 'Five pounds!'

One day, Camilla decided that she wanted to accompany her husband on his jog.

As the jogging couple neared the working woman's street corner, Prince Charles

realised she'd bark her £150 offer and Camilla would wonder what he'd really

been doing on all his past outings.

He figured he'd better have a good explanation for his wife.

As they jogged into the turn that would take them past the corner,

he became even more apprehensive than usual.

Sure enough,there was the hooker.

He tried to avoid the prostitute's eyes as she watched the pair jog past.

Then, from her corner, the hooker yelled, 'See what you get for five pounds, you tight bastard?!'

furkensturker · 11-26-2007, 11:12 AM

Here's one for the Kiwi's.

Do you remember this bloke?

EJB.com: The Front Fell Off

**Julie** · 11-26-2007, 13:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blademaster

That was sick...

Holy Moly...

**Julie** · 11-26-2007, 13:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by furkensturker

Here's one for the Kiwi's.

Do you remember this bloke?

EJB.com: The Front Fell Off

And he's a politician? Geez.

furkensturker · 11-26-2007, 19:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Julie

And he's a politician? Geez.

I wish he was a Politician, at least his double speak makes more sense than some of the answers that come out in Question time in Parliament.

For example;
The current economic data was collected 6 months ago, but it is the economic data for now. Let me explain. It takes 3 months to gather the information and another 3 months to process the data but it is not the data for 6 months ago, it is for now, why? because it would be old data and the government demands current data.

They can't collect economic data for the next six months and back date them and call them current because we can't go forward in time.

Has that cleared it up?

Freddie

**Julie** · 11-26-2007, 22:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by furkensturker

I wish he was a Politician, at least his double speak makes more sense than some of the answers that come out in Question time in Parliament.

For example;
The current economic data was collected 6 months ago, but it is the economic data for now. Let me explain. It takes 3 months to gather the information and another 3 months to process the data but it is not the data for 6 months ago, it is for now, why? because it would be old data and the government demands current data.

They can't collect economic data for the next six months and back date them and call them current because we can't go forward in time.

Has that cleared it up?

Freddie

Actually, I watch your PM address questions on C-Span. I find myself sitting there with a look of bewilderment on my face, then I burst out laughing. I do it for entertainment before I go to bed.

gunnut · 11-27-2007, 00:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by furkensturker

Here's one for the Kiwi's.

Do you remember this bloke?

EJB.com: The Front Fell Off

That reminds me of Monty Python.

**Parihaka** · 11-27-2007, 14:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by furkensturker

Here's one for the Kiwi's.

Do you remember this bloke?

EJB.com: The Front Fell Off

Pure gold mate, pure gold.

11-24-2007, 02:21 AM	#722 (permalink)
Officer of Engineers *Military Professional* Moderator Scotch taster Join Date: 08-06-03 Posts: 17,140 Country:	But you watched it to the end. __________________ Chimo

11-26-2007, 04:09 AM	#726 (permalink)
tankie tankie *Military Professional* Join Date: 11-22-06 Location: u/k Posts: 2,289 Country:	A commuter train travelling to Londonistan was making good time for a change , when all of a sudden the lights went out , bumping and grinding , and the passengers were thrown all about , after 5 minutes all was again normal , when the train pulled into the station a disgruntled passenger went to see the driver to complain ? Ahh yes , verry sorry about that Sahib , says the Sikh driver , but there were 2 Pakistanis on the tracks ?? The man looks at him and says,, good grief man that shouldnt have caused the rough ride we all encountered for 5 minutes ? Ah yes says the driver , they ran off through the woods when they saw us coming , but we still managed to get them __________________ TANKIE , WITHOUT WAX

11-26-2007, 05:47 AM	#728 (permalink)
glyn *Military Professional* Join Date: 09-15-06 Location: Penzance, Cornwall UK Posts: 6,886	Prince Charles Prince Charles decided to take up jogging. Every day, he'd jog past a hooker standing on the same street corner. He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow. 'One hundred and fifty pounds!' she'd shout from the curb. 'No! Five pounds!' He would fire back, just to shut her up. This ritual between him and the hooker became a daily occurrence. He'd run by and she'd yell, 'One hundred and Fifty pounds!' He'd yell back, 'Five pounds!' One day, Camilla decided that she wanted to accompany her husband on his jog. As the jogging couple neared the working woman's street corner, Prince Charles realised she'd bark her £150 offer and Camilla would wonder what he'd really been doing on all his past outings. He figured he'd better have a good explanation for his wife. As they jogged into the turn that would take them past the corner, he became even more apprehensive than usual. Sure enough,there was the hooker. He tried to avoid the prostitute's eyes as she watched the pair jog past. Then, from her corner, the hooker yelled, 'See what you get for five pounds, you tight bastard?!' __________________ Semper in excretum. Solum profunda variat.

11-26-2007, 11:12 AM	#729 (permalink)
furkensturker Underwater panelbeater *Military Professional* Join Date: 10-11-07 Location: West Gippsland, Victoria Posts: 623 Country:	The front fell off Here's one for the Kiwi's. Do you remember this bloke? EJB.com: The Front Fell Off __________________ I'm the Happiness Fairy. I've sprinkled happy dust on you. So Smile dammit. This sh1t's expensive. Bulla Fiax concouria quantium vis

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11-24-2007, 02:10 AM	#721 (permalink)
Blademaster Banished *Senior Contributor* Join Date: 08-15-03 Posts: 3,277	That was sick...

11-24-2007, 02:25 AM	#723 (permalink)
Blademaster Banished *Senior Contributor* Join Date: 08-15-03 Posts: 3,277	To my ever lasting regret.

11-24-2007, 02:29 AM	#724 (permalink)
Officer of Engineers *Military Professional* Moderator Scotch taster Join Date: 08-06-03 Posts: 17,140 Country:	You mean to tell me you did not know what was coming?

11-24-2007, 02:36 AM	#725 (permalink)
Blademaster Banished *Senior Contributor* Join Date: 08-15-03 Posts: 3,277	Yes I did in a way but then again I have cat's curiosity.

11-26-2007, 04:12 AM	#727 (permalink)
tankie tankie *Military Professional* Join Date: 11-22-06 Location: u/k Posts: 2,289 Country:	Oil shortage ,, Apparently the UK oil supply is running low , and the obvious answer is geographical ? no,one cared to check ? the oil fields are in the North sea ? And the dipsticks are in London .

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