Post Your jokes here

**tankie** · 29 Nov 10,, 16:21

A poor little girl was begging in the street in the bronx
A man passed by
and the girl mumbled, "Please, sir, give me some money for a fix."
The man answers, astonished, "Good heavens! But, how old are you,
little girl?"
"I'm eight, sir."
"Oh, my God, and how long have you been into drugs?"
"Since I was raped, sir, when I was four."
"RAPED?!

And who raped you, little girl?"

"I don't remember, I was drunk."

**tankie** · 29 Nov 10,, 16:26

The young widow was kneeling at her husband's grave tending to the
weeds, when she felt the grass rustle beneath her skirt. She smiled
and said

"Easy sweetheart, you're dead now ya know.

**USSWisconsin** · 02 Dec 10,, 06:23

Ole and Lena went to the Olympics.
While sitting on a bench a lady turned to Ole and said, "Are you a pole vaulter?"
Ole said, "No, I'm Norvegian and my name isn't Valter."

**USSWisconsin** · 02 Dec 10,, 06:30

To those in North Dakota , Minnesota , and for that matter the rest of the country, including Canada , I must report the sad news that Ole was shot. He was up by the Canadian border on his 4-wheeler cutting some trees when some rangers looking for terrorists spotted him.
According to the news reports, the rangers shouted to him over a loudspeaker, "Who are you and what are you doing?"
Ole shouted back, "OLE...BIN LOGGIN'!"
Ole is survived by his wife Lena and Lena 's good friend Lars.

**Blue** · 03 Dec 10,, 03:49

One day a man decides to take his son fishing at the local pond. They weren't having much luck but noticed on the other side a woman just hauling them in one after the other. The man tells his son. tomorrow we will fish over there.

They return the next day, but to thier surprise, are not catching anything. However, on the other side, where they were yesterday, was the same woman just catching all kinds of fish!

The father, puzzled, goes over and asks the woman what her secret is.

She explains that when she wakes up in the morning, she throws back the covers and looks at her husbands "manhood". If it is laying to the right, she fishes this side of the pond, if it is laying to the left, she fishes the other. A bit shocked, the father asks, well what do you do if it standing up in the middle...................

I don't go fishing, she said grinning!

**tankie** · 04 Dec 10,, 17:18

A blind guy went to a whore house and the hooker came over to him , he said can i feel your face 1st to get an idea of how you look , sure she says , as he feels her face he recoils in horror ,,, wassup she says , its only a bit of acne ,, thank fcuk for that he said , i thought it was the price list

**tankie** · 06 Dec 10,, 17:08

The Irish are gonna solve their oil/fuel crisis , they have bought and imported 50 million tons of sand from the Arabs and are going to drill for their own

**tankie** · 08 Dec 10,, 14:25

One for 7th

A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems.

"Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor.

Yes. says Yammy 1200 V4 owner .

Homer is a fat yellow lazy bloke and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair

**bigross86** · 08 Dec 10,, 15:00

Tankie, I think it's time for them there meds again...

**tankie** · 08 Dec 10,, 16:04

Ahhh ya,ll get it later Benny

**tankie** · 11 Dec 10,, 15:28

Aussie assault

A lady walked into a Police Station and the desk Sergeant
said "Can I help you?"

"Yes" she said, "I'd like to report a case of sexual assault".

"Where did it happen?" the Sergeant asked.

"In the park just down the road" she replied.

"Can you describe what happened?"

"Yes, I was walking along the footpath in the park near
the trees when a man jumped out of the bushes and dragged me in there,
removed my underwear then he dropped his pants to his knees and had his
way with me".

"Could you give me a description of him?"

"Yes, he was wearing white shoes, long white trousers, a
white shirt and he had these two big long pads from his feet up to and over his knees,
one on each leg".

"Sounds to me like he was a cricketer, most probably a batsman", said the Sergeant.

"Yes", said the lady, "He was an Aussie Cricketer".

"That's very observant", said the Sergeant, "You worked
that out from his accent?"

"No", she replied. "I worked it out because he wasn't in
for very long".

:roflmao:

**tankie** · 13 Dec 10,, 20:51

A first-grade class is having a game of Name That Animal.
The teacher held up a picture of a cat.
"What animal is this?" she asked.
"A cat!" said Eddie.
"Good job! Now, what is this animal?"
"A dog!" said Eddie.
"Good! Now what animal is this?" she asked, holding up a picture of a
Deer. The class fell silent. After a couple of minutes, the teacher said,
"It's what your mom calls your dad."

"A horny bastard," called out Eddie.

**tankie** · 13 Dec 10,, 21:01

A Jewish congregation in New York honors its Rabbi for 25 years of service
by sending him to Hawaii for a week, all expenses paid.

When he walks into his hotel room, there's a beautiful girl, nude, lying on
the bed. She says, "Hi, Rabbi, I'm a little something extra that the
president of the board arranged for you."

The Rabbi is incensed. He picks up the phone, calls the President of the
Temple Board and says, "Greenberg, what were you thinking? Where's your
respect? I am the moral leader of our community! I am very angry with you
and you have not heard the end of this."

The girl gets up and starts to get dressed. The Rabbi turns to her and
says,

"Where are you going?

I'm not angry with you."

**tankie** · 16 Dec 10,, 14:57

Bob stood over his tee short on the 18th hole for what seemed like
forever. He'd waggle, look down, look up, but never start his backswing.
Finally David, his playing partner, asked, "Why on Earth are you taking
so long to make this shot?"

"My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse, and I want to make
this shot a good one," said Bob.

"Good Lord," said David, "you have no chance of hitting her from
here."

**tankie** · 16 Dec 10,, 15:16

The young lady entered the doctor's office carrying an infant. "Doctor,"
she explained, "the baby seems to be ailing. Instead of gaining weight, he
lost three ounces this week." The medic examined the child and then
started to squeeze the girl's breasts. He then unbuttoned her blouse,
removed the bra and began powerfully sucking on one nipple. "Young lady,"
he finally announced, "no wonder the baby is losing weight, you haven't
any milk!"

"Of course not!" she shrieked.

"It's not my child,

it's my sister's!"