Post Your jokes here

**DragoonGuard** · 12 Aug 10,, 10:06

Originally Posted by 7thsfsniper

i hope i don't get a vacation for this, but this made me laugh my ass off!!!

ralmfao.

**bigross86** · 12 Aug 10,, 10:20

Originally Posted by 7thsfsniper

I hope I don't get a vacation for this, but this made me laugh my ass off!!!

Because girls rubbing girls is always preferable to guys rubbing guys, especially guys rubbing guys in the crotch-tonal area

**Blue** · 12 Aug 10,, 15:24

Originally Posted by bigross86

Because girls rubbing girls is always preferable to guys rubbing guys, especially guys rubbing guys in the crotch-tonal area

I was thinkin girls rubbing guys, but hey, I ain't judgin'.

**texasjohn** · 13 Aug 10,, 03:45

Originally Posted by 7thsfsniper

i hope i don't get a vacation for this, but this made me laugh my ass off!!!

rofl!!!!

**Crocodylus** · 13 Aug 10,, 04:37

This one my father told me today on the way to work.

An African guy hears about Russian roulette and tries it out one day. He likes it so much that he travels to Russia to learn it at a professional level. His Russian friends, being as tough and strong as the country in which they live, play it often and invite him to give it a try. One day he plays and wins. They congratulate him on his talent and effort and tell him that real men play Russian roulette, and that he will become manlier as a result. Before returning to Africa, the African invites them to come to his country to learn "African Roulette". This piques their interest and they spend the next several months wondering just what that is.

The next year one of the Russian guys goes to Africa and arrives at the big hut in which his African friend lives. The African answers at the door and tells him to come inside. The Russian man enters. The African then tells him to take his clothes off. From there he is brought into a room with six very beautiful Black African women. The African then tells the Russian to choose one of them to give him a blow job. The Russian thought this was a joke, so he complains. The African again tells him to choose one of them to give him a blow job.

The Russian then tells the African, "A woman giving me a blow job? Big deal! What's so challenging about this?"

To which the African answers, "One of them... is a cannibal."

**bigross86** · 13 Aug 10,, 08:40

**BD1** · 15 Aug 10,, 22:42

**bigross86** · 15 Aug 10,, 22:48

And that's when I killed her, your honor...

**art** · 21 Aug 10,, 13:58

YOU MIGHT BE A REPUBLICAN IF...

You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.
You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend."
You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.
You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.
You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of bitches."
You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Honey."
You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.
You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because you accuse Bert and Ernie of "sexual deviance."
You use any of these terms to describe your wife: Old ball and chain, little woman, old lady, tax credit...
You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.
You've argued that art has a "moral foundation set in Western values."
You think Birkenstock was that radical rock concert in 1969.
You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.
Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you.
You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America.
You've ever said, "Clean air? Looks clean to me."
You've ever referred to Anita Hill as a "lying bitch" while attending a Bob Packwood fund-raiser.
You spent MLK Day reading "The Bell Curve."
You've ever called education a luxury.
You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.
You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.
You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.
You're afraid of the "liberal media."
You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition dictates...."
You've ever called the National Endowment for the Arts a bunch of pornographers.
You think all artists are gay.
You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."
You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes

**tankie** · 22 Aug 10,, 11:31

A friend of mine just started his own business, manufacturing landmines
that look like prayer mats.

Apparently Prophets are going through the roof.

**Julie** · 22 Aug 10,, 17:53

Excellent Tankie.

**tankie** · 23 Aug 10,, 12:13

Originally Posted by Julie

Excellent Tankie.

your welcome your highness

**tankie** · 30 Aug 10,, 11:36

Police today have released the name of the Mi6 SECRET AGENT, who was found in London stabbed and dumped in a bag in his flat , He is named as Brian Shepherd , he was also found to have been placed in a bath of boiling water before being stabbed .

Police are dealing with it as a boil in the bag shepherds spy .

**tankie** · 31 Aug 10,, 13:18

To all the kids who have failed their GCSE exams there are 2 things to remember

1 you tried your very best

2 i dont want pickled gherkins on my big mac .

**BD1** · 04 Sep 10,, 06:54

reportedly a true story, from some russian site.

An Army major visits unit´s HQ and goes to the toilet. Sits in the stall, does the deed and starts to rise up, when his head suddenly knocks down a fire extinguisher hanging on the wall. Extinguisher falls down and starts to erupt a fountain of foam. Major screams ´´Aargh... help!!!´´, grabs the extinguisher and directs the foam in to the toilet.

in rushes a captain, sees a yelling major with his pants down, holding an working extinguisher over toilet and grasps the situation immidiately - grabs the second extinguisher and directs the foam to the same toilet