Holiday Reassignment Strategy

[THL]

A modest proposal: Reassign holidates

By Barbara Brotman
a Tribune staff reporter

November 19, 2006

Christmas sales are on. Radio stations have begun playing holiday music, somewhat belatedly; "The First Noel" was heard at Macy's on Oct. 13.

But let others carp about all this premature decking of halls. It's driven by commerce, of course, but if someone wants to give me a little extra time on the good cheer meter, who am I to get all Scroogy? Think of it as Glad Tidings Savings Time.

Instead of grousing, maybe we should consider other possibilities for rearranging the holiday calendar. After all, why stop at Christmas?

We live in an on-demand media world. We watch TV shows when we want, not when they're shown. We listen to radio programs when we call up the podcast, not when they're broadcast.

So who says holidays have to stay where we've put them? Christmas' inexorable march toward September suggests all sorts of exciting possibilities. My suggestions:

New Year's Day: Needs to move to September. That fresh-new-year feeling belongs to back-to-school season, no matter how long you've been away from plaid skirts and freshly sharpened pencils. Let's bring the calendar in line with reality.

Groundhog Day: A minor star in the holiday constellation, but the fun of rodent-watching, such as it is, is wasted when Feb. 2 falls on a weekday. Schoolchildren and working stiffs deserve to be in on the so-called action. Should move to the first Sunday in February.

St. Patrick's Day: Very poorly situated for Chicago, which celebrates it heartily despite the risk of frostbite. April 17 is just as good as March 17, but warmer, maybe.

Mother's Day: About a week too early for my friends who like to spend it working in the garden. A nip and tuck to the next Sunday ought to do it. Also--why just a day?

Memorial Day: This traditional picnic day is very badly placed in May, which is still winter in Chicago. Let's move it to the second Sunday in June.

Father's Day: The third Sunday in June is bad for me--my husband's birthday is June 28, touching off an annual gift-buying crisis. June is getting awfully crowded, anyway. How about the last Sunday in July?

Labor Day: The traditional start of the new school year would be superseded by the new New Year's Day. How about moving Labor Day to the first Monday in December? Working people really need the day off then to do their holiday shopping.

Halloween: A nightmare as currently located. The weather is always brutal, the early darkness makes crossing streets dangerous for trick-or-treaters, and when it falls midweek, the sugar hangover is a school-killer. Move it to the second Saturday in June, and it will serve as a school-year ender, too.

Thanksgiving: Pretty good calendar location; I'd just move it up a week to increase the odds of a warm day for a post-meal walk.

Of course, this is only a partial list. Aside from Christmas, the other religious holidays could be dealt with by individual faith traditions. (Me, I would petition for Passover to start on a weekend to avoid lengthy seders on school nights. Where is it written that the holiday can begin on any day of the Western workweek? OK, I know where, but can't we find some wiggle room?)

And after dealing with the holidays, we could move on to rescheduling the weather (my proposed new dates for winter: Dec. 24-Jan. 2).

It's a new world of possibilities, brought to you by the people who put up their Christmas lights last week. Fa-la-la-la-la, and Happy Labor Day.

Holiday Reassignment Strategy

[bonehead]

Christmas lights!

It is getting more difficult each year to put the lights around my home without my wifehaving to tell the kids that "Christmas killed daddy".

[Ray]

What's this 'holiday music' that the radios stations are playing?

Holiday music?

[THL]

What's this 'holiday music' that the radios stations are playing?

Holiday music?

Jingle Bells
O Come All Ye Faithful
Deck The Halls
Jolly Old St Nicholas
Silent Night

No?