Profanity in Public: Miss Manners

[THL]

This is from the Miss Manners column in the Chicago Tribune.

How to deal with bad language
Published July 13, 2006


Dear Miss Manners: What does one say (if anything) when one overhears profanity by the teenagers who hang out at the same park where one brings one's toddlers?

This is a regular occurrence where I live. The little ones play on the playground equipment, and the 12 to 17s hang out nearby playing catch or talking loudly. The profanity isn't directed abuse, but rather the unfortunate habits of conversational profanity that seem to be common among the younger teens.

In the past I've ignored the language, and I've also glared at the offender. Last week I spoke rather sharply to one teen, stating that neither I, nor my toddlers, needed to hear that kind of language. None of these options seems correct, and the only other option I see is to deny my little ones the playground -- an option that annoys me quite a bit.

Gentle Reader: It is good of you to attempt to bring up strange teenagers when you must surely have your hands full with your own toddlers.

But then, you did not exactly take a pedagogical tone with the offenders, and you did make it clear that it is for your children's benefit that you want to clean up the playground.

It is not going to work. The days of "Yes, Ma'am, I'm sorry, please don't tell my mother" are gone. You are more likely to bring on the natural reaction to being scolded by a stranger, which will not be pleasant for you or for your children to see.

Miss Manners does not disagree with your taking offense at offensive language. But she believes that your time would be better spent setting a higher standard for your own children by speaking sharply to them when they begin to repeat words that they are bound to hear everywhere.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/featur...tedcontent-fea

I have wondered how to handle others that use profanity in front of my daughter. Normally, it is one word and I am not about to go out and become the morality police of Northern Illinois. I was in a restaurant once where the teenagers at the next table were going way overboard with their use of certain four letter words and I did turn around and point out to them that in case they did not notice, there was a child at the table with me.

Now that Kenzie is older and knows many words which have been explained are not polite to use, she will usually point out to me when someone uses them. Out the other day someone used a certain word beginning with F within earshot of her. To this she looked at me, and loud enough for him and the others around us to hear she said, "Mom, it is not good manners for him to be talking like that." To which I replied, "You're correct. Not in public where others have to hear it anyway."

[dalem]

To this she looked at me, and loud enough for him and the others around us to hear she said, "Mom, it is not good manners for him to be talking like that." To which I replied, "You're correct. Not in public where others have to hear it anyway."

Perfect. I applaud you both.

-dale