Advice Needed (Romance Related)

Wraith601 · 07-23-2006, 01:37 AM

I know this is out of the ordinary for this board but here it goes.

I'm 22 and just got out of a seven month reationship about six weeks ago. Incidently this was my first relationship ever (I'm a loser), however my ex and I were sharing an apartment for the summer until we could move back into the dorms in the fall. The problem is about month after we broke up my ex started dating an old friend of hers who lives three hours away. As a result he visits every damn weekend it seems. My issue is this REALLY bothers me and just the sight of him really pisses me off. Am I jutisfied my feelings or is it just jealousy? How should I feel. I still want to be friends with this girl, but I absolutely detest her new boyfriend.

Anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with this?

**Officer of Engineers** · 07-23-2006, 01:48 AM

Move out. Now.

Confed999 · 07-23-2006, 01:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Officer of Engineers

Move out. Now.

Yes.

troung · 07-23-2006, 01:59 AM

Get out and move on...

THL · 07-23-2006, 01:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wraith601

I know this is out of the ordinary for this board but here it goes.

I'm 22 and just got out of a seven month reationship about six weeks ago. Incidently this was my first relationship ever (I'm a loser), however my ex and I were sharing an apartment for the summer until we could move back into the dorms in the fall. The problem is about month after we broke up my ex started dating an old friend of hers who lives three hours away. As a result he visits every damn weekend it seems. My issue is this REALLY bothers me and just the sight of him really pisses me off. Am I jutisfied my feelings or is it just jealousy? How should I feel. I still want to be friends with this girl, but I absolutely detest her new boyfriend.

Anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with this?

Let me make sure I understand this:

You and your girlfriend lived together.
Then broke up and stayed living together, but I assume now in separate bedrooms.
Now she has a new boyfriend visiting and sleeping over (I assume in her bedroom)?

I suppose jealousy would be a normal reaction to this (I dont always react normal and I am not good at being jealous, so I am not sure). Anger I am pretty sure would also be a normal reaction (now anger I can do).

On to her:
My guess is this - she is trying to get under your skin (and not in a good way) and trying to make you jealous and definitely trying to irritate you. I am baffled that she would have a sleepover in the current living conditions, but I guess people do what they gotta do.

Try this: Get up in the morning, make breakfast for everyone (do NOT poison it). Be jolly. Express your joy for their new found romance, blah blah blah. Tell them you should all try and hang out - how about dinner 2nite? Say how glad you are that there are no hard feelings and everyone is able to be friends.

When you show up for dinner bring a female friend for the evening - borrow one if you must. You and your new "friend" can talk about how much you all have in common and how great it is that you and whats-her-name broke up at just the right time for you and the new girl to meet. Why, if you and whats-her-name did not break up when you did, you may have overlooked the new girl.

After the double date, take the new girl home, tell ex-girlfriend and new-boyfriend you will see them at home soon. Then....stay out. Since the new girl may be borrowed, you dont have to stay out with her, go to a friends house or something - but dont come home until the morning and make a lot of noise when you do. Be sure to apologize for waking them up so late - early! Oh my god! Where did the time go? Is it morning already? How horrible you lost track of the time with new girl.

THL · 07-23-2006, 02:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by troung

Get out and move on...

His name is probably on the lease as well as hers and he cannot move out now. I am assuming that he'd have thought of that b4 coming here. He has to play the game now.

troung · 07-23-2006, 02:06 AM

If the new BF is not for show then he could look like a fool for a poised act. Games take too much effort.

Might as well just poison the food, takes a lot less effort. Or he could just get a screamer to keep in his room and see who leaves first... at least he can have fun playing a game...

Quote:

Incidently this was my first relationship ever (I'm a loser),

No you're not... at least not for that anyways...

Move on, hit the bar and meet some new fish...

**Officer of Engineers** · 07-23-2006, 02:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TopHatsLiberal

His name is probably on the lease as well as hers and he cannot move out now. I am assuming that he'd have thought of that b4 coming here. He has to play the game now.

It's a month. Pay the rent and get out. It's worth your sanity.

**Parihaka** · 07-23-2006, 02:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Officer of Engineers

It's a month. Pay the rent and get out. It's worth your sanity.

Yes. If you can manage to shag someone noisily before you go it's a bonus. You'll feel much less of a loser, trust me.

Wraith601 · 07-23-2006, 02:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TopHatsLiberal

His name is probably on the lease as well as hers and he cannot move out now. I am assuming that he'd have thought of that b4 coming here. He has to play the game now.

Neither of us are on the lease. It's another friend's apartment and my options were live here or move in with my parents and proably lose my job. The dorms open in just a few weeks and I'll be out.

PS: My ex and I never did much while we were together (I'll spare the details so I don't get banned) and I don't her and her new boyfriend do much either, but I don't know or really care about the details.

My problem with moving on is that I graduate in Dec. and will hopefully be shipping out in Jan. so it limits my oprions in the fall.

**Officer of Engineers** · 07-23-2006, 03:04 AM

Ok, so he comes over in the weekends, hire a hooker each time!

troung · 07-23-2006, 03:13 AM

Great minds so think alike...

Wraith601 · 07-23-2006, 03:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Officer of Engineers

Ok, so he comes over in the weekends, hire a hooker each time!

I may be old fashioned but I'm planning to wait to I'm married for sex.

troung · 07-23-2006, 03:18 AM

Then hand her a 5 every couple minutes just to make her scream...

THL · 07-23-2006, 03:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wraith601

Neither of us are on the lease. It's another friend's apartment and my options were live here or move in with my parents and proably lose my job. The dorms open in just a few weeks and I'll be out.

PS: My ex and I never did much while we were together (I'll spare the details so I don't get banned) and I don't her and her new boyfriend do much either, but I don't know or really care about the details.

My problem with moving on is that I graduate in Dec. and will hopefully be shipping out in Jan. so it limits my oprions in the fall.

Since no one is on a lease, if moving out is not an option - then I say just grin and bear it. Or make her life miserable so she will move out.

07-23-2006, 01:37 AM	#1 (permalink)
Wraith601 Title Classified *Senior Contributor* Join Date: 11-23-04 Location: Mississippi Posts: 1,144 Country:	Advice Needed (Romance Related) I know this is out of the ordinary for this board but here it goes. I'm 22 and just got out of a seven month reationship about six weeks ago. Incidently this was my first relationship ever (I'm a loser), however my ex and I were sharing an apartment for the summer until we could move back into the dorms in the fall. The problem is about month after we broke up my ex started dating an old friend of hers who lives three hours away. As a result he visits every damn weekend it seems. My issue is this REALLY bothers me and just the sight of him really pisses me off. Am I jutisfied my feelings or is it just jealousy? How should I feel. I still want to be friends with this girl, but I absolutely detest her new boyfriend. Anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with this? __________________ "We always have been, we are, and I hope that we always shall be, detested in France." -Sir Arthur Wellesley

07-23-2006, 01:48 AM	#2 (permalink)
Officer of Engineers *Military Professional* Moderator Scotch taster Join Date: 08-06-03 Posts: 17,113 Country:	Move out. Now. __________________ Chimo

07-23-2006, 01:59 AM	#4 (permalink)
troung A Self Important *Senior Contributor* Join Date: 08-03-03 Posts: 4,390 Country:	Get out and move on... __________________ To sit down with these men and deal with them as the representatives of an enlightened and civilized people is to deride ones own dignity and to invite the disaster of their treachery - General Matthew Ridgway

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07-23-2006, 03:04 AM	#11 (permalink)
Officer of Engineers *Military Professional* Moderator Scotch taster Join Date: 08-06-03 Posts: 17,113 Country:	Ok, so he comes over in the weekends, hire a hooker each time!

07-23-2006, 03:13 AM	#12 (permalink)
troung A Self Important *Senior Contributor* Join Date: 08-03-03 Posts: 4,390 Country:	Great minds so think alike...

07-23-2006, 03:18 AM	#14 (permalink)
troung A Self Important *Senior Contributor* Join Date: 08-03-03 Posts: 4,390 Country:	Then hand her a 5 every couple minutes just to make her scream...

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