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Thread: Duty NCO at Christmas

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    Resident Curmudgeon Military Professional Gun Grape's Avatar
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    Duty NCO at Christmas

    Borrowed from Duffle Blog.

    I've been the Duty NCO at Christmas and this is exactly how it is. Only difference is we depended on coffee, dip and cowboy killers to stay awake.

    I've also been the Company Gunny that came in to wish the Marines a Merry Christmas and instead chewed ass for the barracks looking like a pigsty.

    http://www.duffelblog.com/2015/12/tw...ore-christmas/


    ‘Twas the Duty NCO before Christmas, throughout all gov’rnment property in view
    Not a creature was stirring, those not on leave were few
    Having just toured the barracks, I made logbook entries with care,
    Futilely hoping my relief would soon be there.
    Gallantly I fought against sleep deprivation,
    Drinking gallons of Rip-Its to fight the sensation.
    On duty Christmas Eve, it was just my luck,
    I settled down to endure a long post sure to suck.
    When out on the quad there arose such a clatter,
    I sprang from the duty hut to see what was the matter.
    Straight to scene I shot like a flame,
    No matter what happened I’d likely be blamed.
    The moon reflecting off the new fallen snow
    Gave the luster of mid-day to the smoke pit below
    When, what to my blood shot eyes should appear,
    But the battalion sergeant major, his face bent with a sneer.
    Cruel eyes surveyed all the barracks in view,
    I knew in a moment we’d all be quite screwed.
    He summoned all the duties for reasons inane,
    And he whistled, and shouted, and used language profane!
    “All duties! All A/duties! All those not on leave!
    These barracks are in a state that I cannot believe!
    The parking lot’s a travesty! There’s trash in the hall!
    Now square away! Square away! Square away all!”
    As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
    We leapt to our task in the blink of an eye.
    Throughout the entire barracks we flew,
    Policing the area with mop, dust pan and broom.
    And then, from upstairs, I heard a ka-boom,
    The bellowing of sergeant major in the laundry room.
    As I ducked my head, and was turning around,
    Down the stairs he came with a bound.
    He was covered in lint, from his head to his foot,
    And his uniform was tarnished with grime and soot.
    A handful of laundry he gripped in each fist,
    And he looked downright furious and otherwise pissed.
    His eyes, how they glowed! His frown lines so scary!
    His jaw set like granite, his knuckles so hairy!
    One eye wandered freely, from his ears issued smoke,
    It looked as if any moment he might suffer a stroke.
    His whole body vibrated as he gritted his teeth,
    The steam of his fury encircled his head like a wreath.
    His broad face split like the maw of a shark,
    His displeasure roared through the Christmas Eve dark.
    “You think it’s Christmas so standards can plunge?
    The entire barracks is just covered with filth and foul munge!”
    The twitch of his eye and the jerk of his head,
    It’s no wonder I anticipated holiday duty with dread.
    He sprang to his truck, he gave us a shout,
    “Square this away, before I come back out!”
    And I heard him exclaim, as he sped from the scene,
    “You’re an undisciplined mob, you deserve Article 15!”
    Last edited by Gun Grape; 26 Dec 15, at 04:12.
    Its called Tourist Season. So why can't we shoot them?

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    GS,

    Did you ever found a woman in the barracks?
    Chimo

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    Resident Curmudgeon Military Professional Gun Grape's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Officer of Engineers View Post
    GS,

    Did you ever found a woman in the barracks?
    There are some stories best untold.
    Its called Tourist Season. So why can't we shoot them?

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    GG,

    sorry, Terminal Lance is spilling the beans for what goes on over there...

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    There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there has always been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that "My ignorance is just as good as your knowledge."- Isaac Asimov

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    That's not the fun part. The fun part is when the RSM finds out with an officer witnessing, obligating the RSM to tear everybody a new asshole. Never happened to me but hearing the stories just makes me wince.
    Chimo

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    SDO in Germany 1983 and FT Stewart, GA 1987.

    After being up all night and then donning dress blues to eat in the mess hall and wering blues for the rest of the day.

    The only duty worse was SDO/SDNCO over New Years Eve...in a blizzard....at Miesau in the early 1980s. USAREUR soldiers know how bad that sucked.
    “We had been hopelessly labouring to plough waste lands; to make nationality grow in a place full of the certainty of God… Among the tribes our creed could be only like the desert grass – a beautiful swift seeming of spring; which, after a day’s heat, fell dusty.”
    ― T.E. Lawrence, Seven Pillars of Wisdom: A Triumph

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    Military Professional JCT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Albany Rifles View Post
    SDO in Germany 1983 and FT Stewart, GA 1987.

    After being up all night and then donning dress blues to eat in the mess hall and wering blues for the rest of the day.

    The only duty worse was SDO/SDNCO over New Years Eve...in a blizzard....at Miesau in the early 1980s. USAREUR soldiers know how bad that sucked.
    I was the Bn OOD one New Years Eve and right around 2300 I get a phone call stating that one of the Marines in the Battalion had been shot in the neck (minor wound, he was fine), luckily the Marine wasn't from my company. Nevertheless, I had to inform the chain of command. I started with the Co 1stSgt, Co Cdr, Bn Ops, Bn XO, Bn SgtMaj, and Bn CO, none of whom answered their listed recall number. I wrote up the entry in the log book, careful to describe everything I had to done to try and inform someone. The next morning I turned everything over to my relief and headed home. The next week when everyone had returned, the BnXO shrugged it off as the Marine was ultimately fine and I had done my best.

    Duty was never fun and something weird always seemed to happen.

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    Quote Originally Posted by JCT View Post
    I was the Bn OOD one New Years Eve and right around 2300 I get a phone call stating that one of the Marines in the Battalion had been shot in the neck (minor wound, he was fine), luckily the Marine wasn't from my company. Nevertheless, I had to inform the chain of command. I started with the Co 1stSgt, Co Cdr, Bn Ops, Bn XO, Bn SgtMaj, and Bn CO, none of whom answered their listed recall number. I wrote up the entry in the log book, careful to describe everything I had to done to try and inform someone. The next morning I turned everything over to my relief and headed home. The next week when everyone had returned, the BnXO shrugged it off as the Marine was ultimately fine and I had done my best.

    Duty was never fun and something weird always seemed to happen.
    My former BN CDR was the 1-star on watch duty the night they screwed up and flew the nukes from Minot to Barksdale. He's the one who had to call the SecDef and let him know about it.
    "So little pains do the vulgar take in the investigation of truth, accepting readily the first story that comes to hand." Thucydides 1.20.3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shek View Post
    My former BN CDR was the 1-star on watch duty the night they screwed up and flew the nukes from Minot to Barksdale. He's the one who had to call the SecDef and let him know about it.
    I so miss the emoticons not working...

    HOLY CRAP!!!

    Did he make 2 star?
    “We had been hopelessly labouring to plough waste lands; to make nationality grow in a place full of the certainty of God… Among the tribes our creed could be only like the desert grass – a beautiful swift seeming of spring; which, after a day’s heat, fell dusty.”
    ― T.E. Lawrence, Seven Pillars of Wisdom: A Triumph

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    Quote Originally Posted by Officer of Engineers View Post

    Did you ever found a woman in the barracks?
    Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh , now n again kof kof .


    Trust gets you killed, love gets you hurt, and being REAL gets you hated.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Albany Rifles View Post
    I so miss the emoticons not working...

    HOLY CRAP!!!

    Did he make 2 star?
    He commanded the 82nd ABN and is now a 3-star with the NATO HQ in Turkey.
    "So little pains do the vulgar take in the investigation of truth, accepting readily the first story that comes to hand." Thucydides 1.20.3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shek View Post
    He commanded the 82nd ABN and is now a 3-star with the NATO HQ in Turkey.
    Glad they didn't shoot the messenger.
    “We had been hopelessly labouring to plough waste lands; to make nationality grow in a place full of the certainty of God… Among the tribes our creed could be only like the desert grass – a beautiful swift seeming of spring; which, after a day’s heat, fell dusty.”
    ― T.E. Lawrence, Seven Pillars of Wisdom: A Triumph

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gun Grape View Post
    I've also been the Company Gunny that came in to wish the Marines a Merry Christmas and instead chewed ass for the barracks looking like a pigsty.
    I was on guard duty at my base on New Year 2000. Walked in with the NCO for the handover from the NYE shift at 1200 and we basically turned around the moment we saw the guard room and the 50+ bottles on the table - and told them we'd be down at the officer's mess for the next two hours. Enlisted was closed for the holiday weekend, so we got some pretty good, tender veal for lunch*, if i remember right.

    Bit us in the ass a bit since the officer on duty came over half an hour later to find some guy from the new shift to drive him to some godforsaken ammo depot in the middle of nowhere where he wanted to drop in on the civvie security guards. Although that came down mostly on the guys that had their heads still sunk on that table between the fifty bottles...

    * given that at the enlisted mess meals varied roughly between "Indian Rice Dish" and "Potato Fish Stew", and occasionally - especially fridays - dinner was dropped in favour of handing out MREs that were about to expire...
    Last edited by kato; 25 Jan 16, at 19:29.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shek View Post
    He commanded the 82nd ABN and is now a 3-star with the NATO HQ in Turkey.
    And now looks to be the next ISAF commander.
    "So little pains do the vulgar take in the investigation of truth, accepting readily the first story that comes to hand." Thucydides 1.20.3

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    New Year's Eve, 1970. All officers invited to battalion commanders hooch in Phuoc Vinh, VN. At midnight all soldiers on the base began firing their weapons. We opened the door to get our soldiers to quit and there was grazing fire across the entrance. We waited.

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