Page 1 of 125 12345678910 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 4258

Thread: Post Your jokes here

Hybrid View

Previous Post Previous Post   Next Post Next Post
  1. #1
    Patron standoh's Avatar
    Join Date
    03 Nov 06
    Location
    Nairobi, Kenya
    Posts
    188

    Post Post Your jokes here

    Wanted: Your jokes, tired cliches weird ads, funny news articles, etc.

    Reward: A dose of endorphins and exercise for your diaphragm, tickled funny bones,giggles,guffaws.

    To start us off mildly;

    Boss:How long have you been working here?
    Employee:Since you threatened to fire me.

    The greatest instrument of moral good is the imagination.

  2. #2
    Military Professional
    Join Date
    05 Jan 07
    Location
    spain
    Posts
    532
    A couple are laying in bed the husband starts rubbing the wife,s arm
    she says not tonight sweetie i have a gynie appoitment tomorrow,i want to stay fresh ,rejected the husband rolls over,sometime later he rolls back again and starts rubbing her arm,in which he says do you have a dentist appoitment as well

  3. #3
    Banned
    Join Date
    16 Oct 07
    Posts
    19
    Quote Originally Posted by soutie View Post
    A couple are laying in bed the husband starts rubbing the wife,s arm
    she says not tonight sweetie i have a gynie appoitment tomorrow,i want to stay fresh ,rejected the husband rolls over,sometime later he rolls back again and starts rubbing her arm,in which he says do you have a dentist appoitment as well
    HAHA, love it! very nice!

  4. #4
    Patron
    Join Date
    24 Jan 07
    Posts
    184
    !!







    hmmm, OK.
    Q: Why do Jews play football?
    A:To get their quarterback.
    "you have enemies, good. That means you stood up for something, sometime in your life"

  5. #5
    Senior Contributor jame$thegreat's Avatar
    Join Date
    25 Nov 04
    Location
    Brooklyn, New York
    Posts
    1,263
    Unfortunatly I didn't get a picture of it but when i was in Pennsylvania i saw a sign for a miniature golf place that said:

    "Buy one child, get one free round of golf!!"

    Sometimes things dont end up how they should, a son, a brother, a mentor, a teacher, a cousin, a nephew, a grandson and a god in my eyes.

    Who knows what he more could have been...

    Christopher Muzykant

    April 9, 1976-November 4,2005

    My Brother, Always and forever

  6. #6
    Muganga Military Professional JOgershok's Avatar
    Join Date
    13 Aug 07
    Location
    IRAQ
    Posts
    639
    Quote Originally Posted by jame$thegreat View Post
    Unfortunatly I didn't get a picture of it but when i was in Pennsylvania i saw a sign for a miniature golf place that said:

    "Buy one child, get one free round of golf!!"

    Do Priests run the place?
    J. J. Ogershok, Jr.

  7. #7
    New Member
    Join Date
    27 Feb 12
    Location
    kritiana08
    Posts
    2
    Quote Originally Posted by jame$thegreat View Post
    Unfortunatly I didn't get a picture of it but when i was in Pennsylvania i saw a sign for a miniature golf place that said:

    "Buy one child, get one free round of golf!!"

    A physicist, an engineer and a mathematician were all in a hotel sleeping when a fire broke out in their respective rooms. The physicist woke up, saw the fire, ran over to his desk, pulled out his CRC, and began working out all sorts of fluid dynamics equations. After a couple minutes, he threw down his pencil, got a graduated cylinder out of his suitcase, and measured out a precise amount of water. He threw it on the fire, extinguishing it, with not a drop wasted, and went back to sleep.

  8. #8
    Military Enthusiast Senior Contributor
    Join Date
    15 Aug 03
    Posts
    5,349
    ^^ What happened to the mathematician and engineer?

  9. #9
    Senior Contributor Doktor's Avatar
    Join Date
    25 Aug 08
    Location
    Skopje, Macedonia
    Posts
    13,668
    Quote Originally Posted by Blademaster View Post
    ^^ What happened to the mathematician and engineer?
    ...The engineer woke up, saw the fire, ran into the bathroom, turned on the faucets full-blast, flooding out the entire apartment, which put out the fire, and went back to sleep.

    The mathematician woke up, saw the fire, ran over to his desk, began working through theorems, lemmas, hypotheses , you-name-it, and after a few minutes, put down his pencil triumphantly and exclaimed, "I have *proven* that I *can* put the fire out!" He then went back to sleep.
    No such thing as a good tax - Churchill

    To make mistakes is human. To blame someone else for your mistake, is strategic.

  10. #10
    tankie Military Professional tankie's Avatar
    Join Date
    22 Nov 06
    Location
    Darlington UK
    Posts
    14,644
    [QUOTE=

    hmmm, OK.
    Q: Why do Jews play football?
    A:To get their quarterback.[/QUOTE]

    Q Why dont Pakistan have a football team ?
    A Cos everytime they got a corner they built a shop


    Trust gets you killed, love gets you hurt, and being REAL gets you hated.

  11. #11
    Military Professional
    Join Date
    15 Sep 06
    Posts
    6,755

    Texans

    A Texan is walking through a field, sees a
    Man drinking water from a stock tank with one of his hands.

    The Texan shouts,,,,,,,," Hey
    don't drink that water,,,, It has cow **** in it!!!!!!!!!!!

    The Man shouts back "Soy mexicano, yo no
    entiendo inglés. Hábleme español.".
    (I'm Mexican, I don't speak English. speak Spanish to me)

    The Texan shouts back,,,,,, "Utilice ambas manos,
    usted conseguirá más para beber."
    (Use both hands, you'll get more to drink)
    Semper in excretum. Solum profunda variat.

  12. #12
    Regular Indirect Fire's Avatar
    Join Date
    01 Dec 06
    Location
    Colleyville - Grapevine, US
    Posts
    136
    Quote Originally Posted by glyn View Post
    A Texan is walking through a field, sees a
    Man drinking water from a stock tank with one of his hands.

    The Texan shouts,,,,,,,," Hey
    don't drink that water,,,, It has cow **** in it!!!!!!!!!!!

    The Man shouts back "Soy mexicano, yo no
    entiendo inglés. Hábleme español.".
    (I'm Mexican, I don't speak English. speak Spanish to me)

    The Texan shouts back,,,,,, "Utilice ambas manos,
    usted conseguirá más para beber."
    (Use both hands, you'll get more to drink)
    Hahaha... From my experience living in Tx, most Texans don't even know how to speak Spanish fluently (except for those who crossed the border)
    I have no idea what I'm doing. Honestly!

  13. #13
    Regular y_raj's Avatar
    Join Date
    06 Nov 06
    Location
    India
    Posts
    39
    A physicist, an engineer and a mathematician were all in a hotel sleeping when a fire broke out in their respective rooms. The physicist woke up, saw the fire, ran over to his desk, pulled out his CRC, and began working out all sorts of fluid dynamics equations. After a couple minutes, he threw down his pencil, got a graduated cylinder out of his suitcase, and measured out a precise amount of water. He threw it on the fire, extinguishing it, with not a drop wasted, and went back to sleep.

    The engineer woke up, saw the fire, ran into the bathroom, turned on the taps full-blast, flooding out the entire apartment, which put out the fire, and went back to sleep.

    The mathematician woke up, saw the fire, ran over to his desk, began working through theorems, lemmas, hypotheses , you-name-it, and after a few minutes, put down his pencil triumphantly and exclaimed, "I have *proven* that I *can* put the fire out!" He then went back to sleep.
    anyone who says " easy as stealing a candy from a child " , has never tried it. !

  14. #14
    Senior Contributor texasjohn's Avatar
    Join Date
    29 Jul 06
    Location
    Arlington, TX
    Posts
    1,294
    Blonde is in front of her computer talking to tech support.

    tech says. " Ok, I would like for you to Right-Click on "My Computer"

    The blonde... "OK!. now is that My right or Your right?"

  15. #15
    Military Professional
    Join Date
    05 Jan 07
    Location
    spain
    Posts
    532
    a couple who have been married over 50 years are sitting at the breakfast table,the wife says 50 years ago we used to eat breakfast naked,so the husband replies lets throw caution to the wind and do it again,after 5 min the wife says Harold my nipples are warm,he replies thats because one is in your porridge and the other one in your coffee

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 5 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 5 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. @ I don't think US should be the leader of the world..
    By MIKEMUN in forum American Politics & Economy
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 08 Dec 09,, 19:31
  2. Post dumb jokes here..
    By YellowFever in forum World Affairs Board Pub
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 10 Aug 09,, 23:35
  3. Afghanistan and the Future of Warfare
    By troung in forum Military Aviation
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 23 Feb 08,, 01:59
  4. Nominating an Arab for the Post of UN Secretary-General
    By bull in forum International Politics
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 03 Sep 06,, 05:51

Tags for this Thread

Share this thread with friends:

Share this thread with friends:

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •