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  • With the Christmas Festivities upon us, I would like to share a personal experience with you all about
    Drinking and Driving after a "Social Event" with friends.
    Last week, I was out at a Party with some friends & ex work colleagues.
    I had a few whiskeys followed by several beers. Despite my jolliness,
    I still had the sense to know that I was over the limit.
    That's when I decided to do what I have never done before, I took a taxi home.
    Sure enough, there was a police road block on the high street but,
    since I was in a taxi, they waved it past and I arrived home safely without incident.
    This was both a great relief and surprise because I had never driven a taxi before.
    I don't even know where I got it from and now that it's outside my house, I don't know what to do with it!

    Comment


    • Samsung just announced a series of water resistant phones…. …. Just what you need in a phone that sets itself on fire —


      to be water resistant.

      Comment


      • Cop..... I'm sorry sir but your wife has been involved in a fatal car crash & we would like u 2 accompany us so u can identify the body. Drunk man..... I'm a bit busy right now, cant u take a photo & tag me on facebook? If its her I'll click''like!'

        Comment


        • Originally posted by tankie View Post
          Samsung just announced a series of water resistant phones…. …. Just what you need in a phone that sets itself on fire —


          to be water resistant.
          No can do. Their washing machines also explode.
          No such thing as a good tax - Churchill

          To make mistakes is human. To blame someone else for your mistake, is strategic.

          Comment


          • Originally posted by Doktor View Post
            No can do. Their washing machines also explode.
            Thought it was tumble dryers ?

            Comment


            • Alcohol and calculus don't mix ...
              so don't drink a derive.
              Trust me?
              I'm an economist!

              Comment


              • Comment


                • No such thing as a good tax - Churchill

                  To make mistakes is human. To blame someone else for your mistake, is strategic.

                  Comment


                  • In case you are having a rough day, here's a stress management technique
                    recommended in all the latest psychological journals. The funny thing is
                    that it really does work and will make you smile.
                    1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a
                    crystal clear stream.
                    2. Picture yourself with both your hands dangling in the cool running water.
                    3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.
                    4. No one knows your secret place.
                    5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the world.
                    6. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of
                    serenity.
                    7. The water is so clear that you can make out the face of the politician
                    you are holding underwater.

                    See it worked. You're smiling. You feel better already.

                    Comment


                    • Chinese President Xi Jinping has weighed in on the Trump prostitution allegations by referring to him as Plesident Erect

                      Comment


                      • Hey yella , dya wanna lodger lol

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                        • "If you build it, they will come."
                          Field Of Dreams 1989.

                          "If we build it, they won't come."
                          Donald Trump. 2017.

                          Comment


                          • On average, human beings have one testicle ...
                            --Daniel Levtin, "A Field Guide to Lies and Statistics"
                            Trust me?
                            I'm an economist!

                            Comment


                            • Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising home along a country road one evening when an old cow loomed in front of the car.

                              The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't and the old cow was struck and killed.

                              Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened.
                              She said that he should resist any request from the farmer to pay for the animal, but she also said, “You killed it, so if they have to have money, it will come out of your pocket!” She stayed in the car making phone calls.
                              About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a huge Cuban cigar in the other, smeared with lipstick, and was smiling happily.
                              "What happened to you," asked Hillary?
                              "Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made passionate love to me.”
                              "What did you tell them?" asked Hillary.
                              The driver replied, "I just stepped inside the door and said, 'I'm Hillary Clinton's driver and I've just killed the old cow.' The rest happened so fast I couldn't stop it."

                              Comment


                              • A United States Marine was taking some college courses between
                                assignments. He had completed 20 missions in Iraq and Afghanistan . One of
                                the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist.
                                One day the professor shocked the class when he came in.
                                He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "GOD, if you are real, then I
                                want you to knock me off this platform...
                                I'll give you exactly 15 min."
                                The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went
                                by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am GOD, I'm still waiting."
                                It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his
                                chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the
                                platform. The professor was out cold.
                                The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently.
                                The other students were shocked and stunned, and sat there looking on in
                                silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at
                                the Marine and asked, "What in the world is the matter with you? Why did
                                you do that?"
                                The Marine calmly replied,
                                "GOD was busy today protecting America 's soldiers who are protecting your
                                right to say stupid shit and act like an idiot. So He sent me."
                                The classroom erupted in cheers!

                                Comment

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