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Thread: Post Your jokes here

  1. #4381
    Turbanator Senior Contributor Double Edge's Avatar
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    There's this meme going around and it jumped the pond

    “Where are you from?”
    “TX”

    “Where in TX?”...
    “Katy”

    “What’s that near?..”
    “Cypress...”

    “Huh???”
    “Houston. I live Houston. Beyoncé is my mother Selena is my aunt and we dance together at the Rodeo and eat Whataburger”
    Whataburger ? : D

    “Where you from?”
    “Florida.”

    “What part of Florida?”
    “Merritt Island.”

    “What’s it by?”
    “Cocoa Beach, Cape Canaveral, NASA?”

    “Huh?”
    “Orlando, I’m from Disney.”
    "Where you from"
    "Ohio"

    "What part?"
    "Willoughby"

    "What's it by?"
    "Eastlake, Mentor, Willoughby Hills"

    "Huh?"
    "Cleveland. I literally live inside the Cavs Stadium and I exclusively drink from Lake Erie. My piss is flammable"
    “Where are you from?”
    “The UAE”

    “Where in the UAE”
    “Abu Dhabi”

    “What’s that near?”
    “Al ain”

    “Huh??????”
    “Dubai. I live in Dubai. I eat gold for breakfast, my toilet paper is infused with diamonds, and I buy a new Lamborghini every day.”
    “Where are you from?”
    “Kashmir”

    “Where in Kashmir?”
    “Srinagar”

    “What’s that near?”
    “Between India and Pakistan”

    “Huh??????”
    “It’s where India and Pakistan go to picnic. Led Zeppelin discovered us, our skin is like that Cashmere sweater and we drink Pashmina for beer.
    “Where are you from?”
    “Chhattisgarh”

    “Where in Jharkhand?”
    “I said Chhattisgarh, Raipur is my hometown”

    “So how is Ranchi like?”
    “This is not going anywhere. I give up. Bye”

    “That's rude. How does it feel to have so many Chief Ministers in a short span?”
    I said bye
    I used to explain this as follows

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    Last edited by Double Edge; 31 May 18, at 08:09.

  2. #4382
    Senior Contributor DOR's Avatar
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    I've had a different line of questions throughout my life abroad.
    Where are you from?
    America.

    Oh yeah, where?
    California.

    Oh yeah, where?
    Los Angeles.

    Oh yeah, where?
    Hollywood.

    Oh.
    Since I really was born in Hollywood, now I just cut to the chase.

    Where are you from?
    Hollywood.

    Florida?
    Trust me?
    I'm an economist!

  3. #4383
    tankie Military Professional tankie's Avatar
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    Wild animals escape from a zoo in germany !!!

    The Lions have a placard saying ....................

    refugees welcome 👍👍👍👍👍


    Trust gets you killed, love gets you hurt, and being REAL gets you hated.

  4. #4384
    Turbanator Senior Contributor Double Edge's Avatar
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    The wanderer is back : D

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    Last edited by Double Edge; 02 Jun 18, at 01:43.

  5. #4385
    Turbanator Senior Contributor Double Edge's Avatar
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    Manchester or Town on the breast like hill
    London or City of the wide flowing river

    Spoiler!
    Last edited by Double Edge; 02 Jun 18, at 01:43.

  6. #4386
    Turbanator Senior Contributor Double Edge's Avatar
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    And the whole world (literally)

    Here

    Thailand, Uzbekistan - Land of the free
    Kazakhstan - Place where one stands
    Myanmar - Swift and strong
    Singapore - Lion city
    Indonesia - Indian islands
    Korea - High and Beautiful
    Saudi Arabia - land of good fortune
    Nepal - The country looked after by Ne
    Azerbaijan - Protected by Fire

    Macedonia - Land of tall people
    Poland - People of the fields
    Italy -Sons of the bull
    Hungary - 10 Arrows
    Serbia - Land of the Men
    Denmark - Home of warriors
    Spain - Land of many rabbits ( can't get over this one haha)

    Canada - The Village
    Mexico - In the navel of the Moon (Lolwut)

    Brazil - Red dyewood

    Wow!!!
    Last edited by Double Edge; 02 Jun 18, at 02:53.

  7. #4387
    Former Staff Senior Contributor Ironduke's Avatar
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    Some day, I'll take Sophia Loren to be my lawful wedded wife.

    But first, I have to break into this museum, steal this time machine, and travel back to 1955.

    Ironduke's Eleven, anybody?



    Quote Originally Posted by tankie View Post
    Wild animals escape from a zoo in germany !!!

    The Lions have a placard saying ....................

    refugees welcome ����������
    Long time, no see. Good to see you around. :-)
    Last edited by Ironduke; 03 Jun 18, at 12:36.
    What I don't want to see is the Bills winning a Super Bowl. As long as I'm alive that doesn't happen.

  8. #4388
    Former Staff Senior Contributor Ironduke's Avatar
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    What I don't want to see is the Bills winning a Super Bowl. As long as I'm alive that doesn't happen.

  9. #4389
    Turbanator Senior Contributor Double Edge's Avatar
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    Picked up a hitchhiker last night. He said thanks how do you know I’m not a serial killer? I replied the chances of two serial killer’s being in the same car are astronomical.

  10. #4390
    Turbanator Senior Contributor Double Edge's Avatar
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  11. #4391
    Turbanator Senior Contributor Double Edge's Avatar
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    Whimsy Mine

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  12. #4392
    Turbanator Senior Contributor Double Edge's Avatar
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    In Russia, a smile in public can land you in trouble (!)

    Need to teach Russian people how to change their attitude




    GOOD IDEA !!

  13. #4393
    Turbanator Senior Contributor Double Edge's Avatar
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    That other summit

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    Last edited by Double Edge; 12 Jun 18, at 05:43.

  14. #4394
    Senior Contributor DOR's Avatar
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    Gift suggestion

    What do you get for the childish dictator who has everything (Kim, not Trump)?

    How about a rare, first edition comic book?

    https://archive.org/details/GiJoeV10...eries-1stIssue
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    Trust me?
    I'm an economist!

  15. #4395
    Former Staff Senior Contributor Ironduke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by astralis View Post
    as an American, i sure hope so. i look forward to a bright future of bending Canadians to our evil plans >:-)
    Quote Originally Posted by Ironduke View Post
    If Justin Trudeau put on a wig, Trump would probably think he was Jacinda Ardern, at which point the Canadians could probably bend us to their evil plans. ^^
    An artist's rendering of Trudeau if he attempted to pass himself off as New Zealand PM Jacinda Ardern:



    I recommend a BOLO be issued for the increasingly likely event he pursues the "Canuckiwi Honeypot" strategy.
    Last edited by Ironduke; 15 Jun 18, at 18:06.
    What I don't want to see is the Bills winning a Super Bowl. As long as I'm alive that doesn't happen.

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