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Thread: Flatulence Forces Plane to Land

  1. #1
    Staff Emeritus
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    Defense Professional Shek's Avatar
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    Flatulence Forces Plane to Land

    THL,
    I think I beat you to it this time

    Flatulence Forces Plane to Land
    By Associated Press

    December 6, 2006, 4:12 PM EST

    NASHVILLE, Tenn. -- An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing Monday morning after a passenger lit a match to disguise the scent of flatulence, authorities said.

    The Dallas-bound flight was diverted to Nashville after several passengers reported smelling burning sulfur from the matches, said Lynne Lowrance, spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority. All 99 passengers and five crew members were taken off and screened while the plane was searched and luggage was screened.

    The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal a "body odor," Lowrance said. She had an unspecified medical condition, authorities said.

    "It's humorous in a way but you feel sorry for the individual, as well," she said. "It's unusual that someone would go to those measures to cover it up."

    The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on the plane. The woman, who was not identified, was not charged in the incident.
    "So little pains do the vulgar take in the investigation of truth, accepting readily the first story that comes to hand." Thucydides 1.20.3

  2. #2
    Official Thread Jacker Senior Contributor gunnut's Avatar
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    Uh...huh huh huh...she farted...
    "Only Nixon can go to China." -- Old Vulcan proverb.

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    Senior Contributor THL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shek View Post
    THL,
    I think I beat you to it this time
    Glad to see I am not the only one who posts useless (but very very funny) things for all to read.

    Thanks, Shek!!
    "To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are."-Sholem Asch

    "I always turn to the sports page first, which records people's accomplishments. The front page has nothing but man's failures."-Earl Warren

    "I didn't intend for this to take on a political tone. I'm just here for the drugs."-Nancy Reagan, when asked a political question at a "Just Say No" rally

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    Dirty Kiwi Senior Contributor
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    She was probably trying to set fire to her farts. A new terrorist weapon that needs to be banned........

  5. #5
    WAB Cautioner of Poo Senior Contributor Debbie's Avatar
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    I read this story at work today - having my priorites in order you see - the WAB first and work second. Was rolling in the aisle with laughter after I fell out of my chair.

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    Staff Emeritus Julie's Avatar
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    Couldn't she just have taken a Gas-x pill or something before boarding?

  7. #7
    Field mechanik Senior Contributor omon's Avatar
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    yep. the airline food is a nasty staf, can make you stomac sing.

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    Banned Defense Professional Bluesman's Avatar
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    The woman was not charged?

    She SHOULD have been.

  9. #9
    Senior Contributor texasjohn's Avatar
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    Farts can be pretty lethal actually depending on what was consumed.. For example, here is a infrared heat signature.

    http://www.break.com/index/fart_caug...ed_camera.html

    Refried beans ya think?

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    Staff Emeritus Julie's Avatar
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    Gives meaning to the word "air" lines.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bluesman View Post
    The woman was not charged?

    She SHOULD have been.
    I agree. Regardless of her noxious emissions, what was she thinking striking matches on a plane? Even ignoring today's nervous flying climate. When has that ever been a good move?

  12. #12
    Military Professional sappersgt's Avatar
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    Geneva Convention violation

    Quote Originally Posted by texasjohn View Post
    Farts can be pretty lethal actually depending on what was consumed.. For example, here is a infrared heat signature.

    http://www.break.com/index/fart_caug...ed_camera.html

    Refried beans ya think?
    Lol. I've always said some peoples farts should be colored as a warning to others. I just need infrared glasses!

  13. #13
    Field mechanik Senior Contributor omon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by texasjohn View Post
    Farts can be pretty lethal actually depending on what was consumed.. For example, here is a infrared heat signature.

    http://www.break.com/index/fart_caug...ed_camera.html

    Refried beans ya think?
    it is fake hot objects are white on ir, also it looks like the guy has a hole in his pants perfectly allined whit his as..ole.

  14. #14

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    Welcome to the brave new world of 21st century air travel. If you fart in the wrong direction, you could have an F-16 escorting your aircraft to safety.
    Last edited by gilgamesh; 10 Dec 06, at 07:28.

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