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  1. #1
    Staff Emeritus Confed999's Avatar
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    Stories!

    I love stories. I live for stories. The best stories are, as I would say when I was a kid, "Army" stories. I want to hear some stories! Good stories, bad stories, stories that restore faith in man, stupid stories, funny stories, scarry stories, any true "Army" stories!!!!
    No man is free until all men are free - John Hossack
    I agree completely with this Administrationís goal of a regime change in Iraq-John Kerry
    even if that enforcement is mostly at the hands of the United States, a right we retain even if the Security Council fails to act-John Kerry
    He may even miscalculate and slide these weapons off to terrorist groups to invite them to be a surrogate to use them against the United States. Itís the miscalculation that poses the greatest threat-John Kerry

  2. #2
    Officer of Engineers
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    This is one of those never overdo coming down on the Sgts stories. My buddy and I were at the Battle School during one of those exercises. One of those 32 hour days and 5 minute sleeps and Murphy showing his head everywhere. We were supposed to be trucked to our new location and catch 2 hours of sleep. Well, the truck wasn't working and instead of a 2 hour sleep, we're talking a 15 kms march. My buddy lost it on the Travel Officer, who had to take it all.

    Well, exercise over and we were waiting in line to get our travel orders back to our base in Ontario and weekend leave. I got my plane tickets and then, the Travel Officer turned around to my buddy and said, "sorry, sir but there was a mixed up at the airport. I couldn't get you on the flight but I did get you your bus tickets.

    "But that's a 42 hour bus ride!!!!!"

    "Yes, Sir, and your bus leaves in 20 minutes. You better hurry."

  3. #3
    Officer of Engineers
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    Here is another one.

    Showed up at Regiment (don't want to name them and the person involved) to get info on an upcoming op. I showed up and walked into the parade hall and saw the 2IC just reaming this civilian who was just smiling at him, almost laughing.

    The civie looked familiar and I couldn't figured out who. The Commissioner (former military retiree working as government security) saw me and waved me over and pointed to a picture on the wall. I got it.

    I smiled and approached the screaming Captain and the smiling civilian. "Good evening, General."

    I swear I never seen a man turned white on the spot.

  4. #4
    Staff Emeritus Confed999's Avatar
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    Perfect!
    No man is free until all men are free - John Hossack
    I agree completely with this Administrationís goal of a regime change in Iraq-John Kerry
    even if that enforcement is mostly at the hands of the United States, a right we retain even if the Security Council fails to act-John Kerry
    He may even miscalculate and slide these weapons off to terrorist groups to invite them to be a surrogate to use them against the United States. Itís the miscalculation that poses the greatest threat-John Kerry

  5. #5
    Military Enthusiast Senior Contributor
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    Quote Originally Posted by Officer of Engineers
    Here is another one.

    Showed up at Regiment (don't want to name them and the person involved) to get info on an upcoming op. I showed up and walked into the parade hall and saw the 2IC just reaming this civilian who was just smiling at him, almost laughing.

    The civie looked familiar and I couldn't figured out who. The Commissioner (former military retiree working as government security) saw me and waved me over and pointed to a picture on the wall. I got it.

    I smiled and approached the screaming Captain and the smiling civilian. "Good evening, General."

    I swear I never seen a man turned white on the spot.
    It was about a parking spot, right? I remember this story. It was pretty funny as hell. Man, I wonder what his shriveled balls must have looked like at that time.

  6. #6
    Military Enthusiast Senior Contributor
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    Quote Originally Posted by Officer of Engineers
    This is one of those never overdo coming down on the Sgts stories. My buddy and I were at the Battle School during one of those exercises. One of those 32 hour days and 5 minute sleeps and Murphy showing his head everywhere. We were supposed to be trucked to our new location and catch 2 hours of sleep. Well, the truck wasn't working and instead of a 2 hour sleep, we're talking a 15 kms march. My buddy lost it on the Travel Officer, who had to take it all.

    Well, exercise over and we were waiting in line to get our travel orders back to our base in Ontario and weekend leave. I got my plane tickets and then, the Travel Officer turned around to my buddy and said, "sorry, sir but there was a mixed up at the airport. I couldn't get you on the flight but I did get you your bus tickets.

    "But that's a 42 hour bus ride!!!!!"

    "Yes, Sir, and your bus leaves in 20 minutes. You better hurry."
    Did your buddy do anything to that Sgt when he came back after that long ride? Like write a letter of reprimand or derail that Sgt. career?

    I would have done something to that Sgt. Because of what he did, he would become a personal enemy for life and I would always be on the lookout to trip him up.

    A smarter SGT would have done something less but gently to remind your buddy.

    I know the saying about never pissing off your senior NCOs but the fact always remains: Never piss off someone who has a say in your career path or your paycheck.

  7. #7
    Officer of Engineers
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    The Sgt was not part of our base, nor of our unit. He was the Travel Officer at the Battle School. My buddy would've look pretty stupid trying to jump the chains-of-command. Gagetown would have protected the Sgt from a 2 bar from Ontario.

  8. #8
    Senior Contributor kNikS's Avatar
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    Guess that sarge overfcuked the system.
    For King and Fatherland ~ Freedom or Death

  9. #9
    Military Enthusiast Senior Contributor
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    Quote Originally Posted by Officer of Engineers
    The Sgt was not part of our base, nor of our unit. He was the Travel Officer at the Battle School. My buddy would've look pretty stupid trying to jump the chains-of-command. Gagetown would have protected the Sgt from a 2 bar from Ontario.

    Ah that explains it. Boy what a long ride for your buddy. OR did he throw his bus tickets in the trash and buy separate airline tickets or decided to stay at the base? I pity him

  10. #10
    Staff Emeritus Lunatock's Avatar
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    A story I was told by Joe Kacka(sp?), A World War Two Veteran.

    "I almost got busted for going AWOL. While I was in France with the US Army I took a jeep and headed south for Chechloslovakia, because I had family there. I got within one hundred miles of their town when an MP caught up with me and told me to go back north. He thought I was crazy! for doing that."

  11. #11
    Officer of Engineers
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blademaster
    Ah that explains it. Boy what a long ride for your buddy. OR did he throw his bus tickets in the trash and buy separate airline tickets or decided to stay at the base? I pity him
    We didn't bring alot of money with us. The best way to avoid losing your money to the 2 RCR guys is not to have any.

    And we had parade bright and early morning Mon, so he didn't had any choice. Truth be told, he was in better shape than I was. I was still sufferring from a hangover.

  12. #12
    New Member wakewithastart's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blademaster View Post
    I know the saying about never pissing off your senior NCOs but the fact always remains: Never piss off someone who has a say in your career path or your paycheck.
    Story my boss told me a couple of weeks after showing up at Battalion: He's a platoon medic overseas, and some JOC officer is constantly doing things to piss him off. So my boss steals the sir's toothpaste, masturbates into a cup, aspirates his ejaculate into a syringe, then puts the stuff into the sir's toothpaste and replaces it. Awesome. Don't piss off your medics either.

  13. #13
    tankie Military Professional tankie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wakewithastart View Post
    Story my boss told me a couple of weeks after showing up at Battalion: He's a platoon medic overseas, and some JOC officer is constantly doing things to piss him off. So my boss steals the sir's toothpaste, masturbates into a cup, aspirates his ejaculate into a syringe, then puts the stuff into the sir's toothpaste and replaces it. Awesome. Don't piss off your medics either.
    A person needs balls to pull off a stunt like that
    Last edited by tankie; 15 Jun 09, at 11:44.


    Trust gets you killed, love gets you hurt, and being REAL gets you hated.

  14. #14
    Banned SnowLeopard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Officer of Engineers View Post
    ...... the Travel Officer turned around to my buddy and said, "sorry, sir but there was a mixed up at the airport. I couldn't get you on the flight but I did get you your bus tickets.

    "But that's a 42 hour bus ride!!!!!"

    "Yes, Sir, and your bus leaves in 20 minutes. You better hurry."
    Reminds me of the disbursing officer on my ship. I had just gotten an apartment out in town, put in for my allotments which service rumor had took forever. The disbursing officer was in Hack in home port on the ship. As an officially feel sorry load but a personally bribe, I gave him a six pack, about 18 movies, of porn films.

    Geee, that allotment turned up quick!
    _______________________________________________
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  15. #15
    Military Professional sappersgt's Avatar
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    Sapper Co 2nd SAI's motto... JWFP

    Quote Originally Posted by Confed999
    I love stories. I live for stories. The best stories are, as I would say when I was a kid, "Army" stories. I want to hear some stories! Good stories, bad stories, stories that restore faith in man, stupid stories, funny stories, scarry stories, any true "Army" stories!!!!
    I was waiting to be evaced after we had finally secured (the newspapers said "A Daring Dawn Assault") the upper decks of a Liberian freighter when the call went out for anyone with sailing experience. " I sailed down to Baja (CA) when I was 12," I replied. The next thing I know I'm on the bridge ( with my leg propped up) of a 10,600 ton freighter trying to steer it to Durban harbor.
    Not knowing what freqs to use I called out on Guard to the Durban Naval Security Detachment to request a pilot to meet me at the outer breakwater identifiing myself as "Sapper Corporal so and so with captured vessel". The radio operator didn't know what to think and left his mike open saying "F***ing Americans, all think they're bloody John Wayne". To which I replied "John Wayne's a f***ing P***y!".
    All you could hear for the next five minutes was a bunch of airline pilots and controllers laughing their asses off and doing imitations of the "Duke".
    At that moment our company motto was born. We would shout it out while running by the regular army offending many and cheering us to know end. Some of the men even got tattoos.
    Last edited by sappersgt; 02 Apr 06, at 08:41.

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