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Thread: Stories!

  1. #541
    Resident Curmudgeon Military Professional Gun Grape's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Officer of Engineers View Post
    GS,

    You can be certain that you're not getting a Christmas Card from me.
    Sir,

    A mod asked for the picture. Its not like I wanted to post it.

  2. #542
    Global Moderator Defense Professional JAD_333's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gun Grape View Post
    Sir,

    A mod asked for the picture. Its not like I wanted to post it.
    You are far too obliging. Let me think...
    To be Truly ignorant, Man requires an Education - Plato

  3. #543
    Military Professional Prof's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAD_333 View Post
    You are far too obliging. Let me think...
    Is "She-who-must-not-be-named" dead & crazy at the same time & you guys are channelling her?

    Prof

  4. #544
    Staff Emeritus Julie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gun Grape View Post
    Its not like I wanted to post it.
    LIAR !

  5. #545
    Military Professional Prof's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Julie View Post
    LIAR !
    Lordluvaduck.

    Prof

  6. #546
    Global Moderator Defense Professional JAD_333's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Julie View Post
    LIAR !
    Julie, your neural connections are running amuck.
    To be Truly ignorant, Man requires an Education - Plato

  7. #547
    Global Moderator Defense Professional JAD_333's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prof View Post
    Is "She-who-must-not-be-named" dead & crazy at the same time & you guys are channelling her?

    Prof

    Not me, prof, tho I think she's a fine singer and a decent gal...she set aside her career for a time to tend to her new baby. Now she's back, skinny pins and all.
    To be Truly ignorant, Man requires an Education - Plato

  8. #548
    Dirty Kiwi Senior Contributor
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    I would fight not to ever fall too deep
    Never sure that love would grow
    Now at night as I lay me down to sleep
    I could never let you go OoE.

    And lying here with you, I still can't believe it's true
    Never thought that I would ever find a love
    That lasts forever OoE.

    Be the man that's mine OoE.
    Find the love that never goes away
    Be the heart I know will be
    The one that beats for me, be the man, OoE.

    Used to be scared if I would ever get this close OoE.
    I'm not afraid to touch you now OoE.

    Long before I knew, I'd be making love to you OoE.
    I dreamed that maybe I would one day
    Lose myself in someone, someday OoE.

    Be the man that's mine OoE.
    I always try to find the love that never goes away
    Be the heart I know will be
    The one that beats for me, be the man OoE.

    Take me where I have never been OoE.
    I will follow you, you'll never be alone OoE.
    I will run, run to you OoE.
    I never thought that I would ever find a love
    That lasts forever OoE.

    Be the man that's mine OoE.
    I always try to find the love that never goes away
    Tell me we will always be together OoE.
    Make us stay in love this way forever OoE.
    Be the heart I know will be
    The one that beats for me OoE.
    Wherever you may be OoE.
    Always be with me, be the man OoE.
    Ode to OoE
    Celine Dion

  9. #549
    Officer of Engineers
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    You are a freak!

  10. #550

    Military Professional
    Military Professional S2's Avatar
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    Prof Reply

    "If I want to get belted it'll be by, oh, my little dead gal from Big Brother & the Holding Company()."

    O.k.

    Belting coming whether you want or not...

    "This aggression will not stand, man!" Jeff Lebowski
    "The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you're uncool." Lester Bangs

  11. #551
    Dirty Kiwi Senior Contributor
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    Quote Originally Posted by Officer of Engineers View Post
    You are a freak!
    You know she loves you, give in man, give in. There is a reason she's exiled herself from Canada.....

  12. #552
    Officer of Engineers
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    Quote Originally Posted by Parihaka View Post
    You know she loves you, give in man, give in. There is a reason she's exiled herself from Canada.....
    Yes, it's too cold here.

  13. #553
    Military Professional Prof's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by s-2 View Post
    "if i want to get belted it'll be by, oh, my little dead gal from big brother & the holding company()."

    o.k.

    Belting coming whether you want or not...

    s-2:

    Wooo!

    Prof

  14. #554
    Staff Emeritus
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    Defense Professional Shek's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zraver View Post
    prof, great sotry. I don't know how it is in the navy, but Army CoC ceremonies are long drawn out affairs. The worst are divsional change of command. Me, I am a tanker with a side line as mechanic I am not and never have been infantry. Yet for the CoC I had to get all spified up carry a rfifle and actaully affix an unsheathed bayonet to it.

    Now, the idea of packing a bunch of guys in close order, putitgn them at attnetion and then leaving them there (or at parade rest) in the texas heat of Ft. Hood seems to be a numbers game. Some one with rifle+bayonet is going to lock thier knees and pass out. Luckily it wasn't me, and maybe nobody did.

    However I missed the oh so riveting speeches becuase all I could do was wonder if it was going to be me (not falling I know better than to look my knees) but me who was going to be fallen into.
    Don't worry Z. Most officers don't like long ceremonies either. Some more than others )
    "So little pains do the vulgar take in the investigation of truth, accepting readily the first story that comes to hand." Thucydides 1.20.3

  15. #555
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    Chogy's Avatar
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    Has it really been over a year since our last story?

    I've got a few more hip-pocketed, but too many of them are not "Safe For Work." Or Spouses.

    I will try and resurrect the thread with a pair of gentle jabs at our beloved USMC. We always had at least one exchange pilot in our USAF fighter squadron, and they were a different breed. Initially, they were always shocked at how plush everything was, how clean the facilities, the obvious fat USAF budget vs. the Marines. Nothing stopped them from friendly AF bashing, and everything back in the Corps was bigger, tougher, meaner.

    One favorite topic of conversation was the survival scenario. Typical AF attitude was "We jog every day so we can be in shape to run to the rescue helicopter." The notion of actually engaging in ground combat was unthinkable. But not our Marine.

    He was nicknamed "Skull" because he was follically (<--how do you spell this?) challenged. He was also a good guy and a superb pilot. We were being issued our S & W Model 15 .38 special revolvers for an exercise. All of us hated them and thought they were (at best) useful to trade for food or something.

    Skull: (Admiring the weapon) "Ahh, a fine AK-47!"
    Us: (??) "Uh, Skull, that's no AK..."
    Skull: "Whimps. It will BECOME a fine AK-47 after I use it on the back of a bad-guy's cranium."
    Us: "Go for it, Rambo, We'll be calling for the PJ's and running for the chopper!"

    Needless to say, the next time ParaRescue needed a warm body for a training exercise in the swamps of the Florida Panhandle, Skull mysteriously was volunteered, and apparently was quite... impressive.

    --------------------------------------------

    Fast forward... we are in Germany, REFORGER, maybe 1987. Skull was gone, flying Hornets, and his replacement was a hulking brute named "Vern" because he looked like this guy:



    Vern didn't just exist, he ate life up. Every moment was an adventure to Vern. In retrospect, we all envied him in this regard. In Germany, Vern was in his element.

    Four of us had some time off, so we borrowed a USAF car we called a "Blue Steelie", a generic blue Plymouth sedan. Pockets full of Deutsch Marks, we hit the town for fine Pilsners and great German food. A few hours/beers later we were getting pretty rowdy, as all young men do.

    Vern: "Women... where are the women? Let's find some!"
    Us: "Shut up, Vern. We're not chasing women."
    Vern: "Pathetic. Marines are always after women... Stop. STOP!!! There's a massage parlor right there!"

    Sure enough, a big, blinking neon signs shows what appears to be a seedy "massage" joint.

    Vern: "HAHA! I'm going to get some tonight. You guys chicken? Come on!"
    Us: "Go for it dude, we'll sit out here and drink beer."
    Vern: "Whimps!"

    Vern enters the massage parlor. About 5 minutes go by. Then, the door explodes outward, and our marine is running for the car. "GO! GO! FAST!" We take off, no questions asked.

    Us: "So.... what happened?"
    Vern: "Shut up. Don't wanna talk about it."
    Us: "Tell us what happened, or we'll kick you out and you can walk back to the base."

    It took a while, but he finally told us. "It was a GAY massage parlor. A guy in a leather harness was going to give me a 'massage'!"

    Of course, Vern never lived it down!
    Last edited by Chogy; 18 Mar 11, at 17:13.

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