wabpilot

Or, how not to run an airline.

It has been a while since yours truely was in the pointy end of an airliner. But, coming back from vacation, I was invited to exercise my pass privileges from the jump seat of a MD-80 from ATL to DFW. (I prefer to call it Ft. Worth International Airport, but no one else does.) I settled in the jump seat which is rather uncomfortable, but they could sell my seat to a paying customer. The back end was packed. I suppose lots of folks were trying to make it home before school started. I just hoped my snow skis made it before I did.

The crew was made up of a very experienced captain who looked like he might be retiring soon. He told me he had flown just about every type in the widget inventory, but liked the DC-9 (like me, he has a hard time referring to it as a MD-80 or a Boeing) better than most. The FO was very junior, she was fresh from regionals where she had been a captain. For my part, I kept quiet about the fact that I still instructed a few hours a month. My line having run off all its senior instructor captains is now dependent on retirees to keep the sims running. The Captain was the pilot not flying on this leg, so he was doing the talking and the FO was going to do the flying. As with most big jets, the tiller (steering wheel) is on the left, so the Captain taxis regardless.

We got our clearance and pushed on time with a full load. For my part, I was wondering just how they couldn't be making money. But, I had read an editorial from the chief widget wonder saying that little planes, corporate jets and VLJs were obstructing his magnificent flying conglomeration from reaching its profitable potential. (It couldn't be his brilliant leadership.) Maybe I shouldn't be so harsh, after all, my line took two trips to bankruptcy, one because painting our planes a different shade of blue didn't attract passnegers in droves. Could be that our new shade of blue looked a little too much like another crappy airline's shade of blue? Passengers might have confused our their lousy service, for ours? Hey, it could have happened that way. The boss sure thought it did. The other blue shade went into bankruptcy as well. Must have been the paint. Oh well, my line is repainting the airplanes again. The next time I get into aviation, it's going to be as a paint salesman. Those guys have got to be making bank! (Sherwin-Williams pension plan is much better too.)

We pushed back. The Captain and FO were watching carefully. The FO explained that the wonders at widget central had outsourced the ramp workers and they now made slightly more than minimum wage. It was considered bad form to squash one of them. The old ramp rats had been highly paid, but well trained and very experienced. They knew to stay out of the way of big planes. More important the old ramp rats knew to watch out for their birds. The new ones were just sort of standing around looking confused. I was glad to be moving forward.

ATL has lots of room between the rows of gates. In theory two planes can pass and still leave room for parking on either side. But, ATL had decided to use mostly a one way system of taxilanes. Probably to cut in half the risk of squashing ramp rats. Once on the taxiway, we joined a conga line of departing airliners. Most from widget central. But a few interlopers. I saw one of my old line's machines. It had the ugly new paint, which was slightly less ugly than the blue but easier to see than when we decided to go with bare metal. The white tops are easier to cool too, so say the HVAC geniuses.

As is required, the radar was in standby mode. Don't want to radiate a minimum wage ramp rat. So, for these poor folks, no way to get any updates on the weather. (In my corporate jet flyin' days, I would have just turned on the XM satellite radio and downloaded the RAREP imagry. Yeah, it's five minutes old, but still a lot more current than the faxed RAREP that the FO has crumpled up in her lap. It's an hour old, or more.) Taxiing a big jet is a learned talent. No need to jocky the throttles. Just a nudge gets you moving slowly. Push it too far forward and you'll only stomp on the brakes to slow down. Even the DC-9 has plenty of thrust. The Captain has a nice touch on the throttles. Our pace is even and deliberate. If I was giving him a checkride, I'd be favorably impressed at this point. He's a pro. The FO is looking sharp too. She's got her side of the pit organized and has reviewed the DP. (Departure Procedure, I still call them SIDS for Standard Instrument Departure procedureS.) They are keeping a steril cockpit, as is called for by the regs and just good practice.

In the conga line, we move deliberately toward departure. Start, stop, start, stop. There must be fifteen planes in front of us. Then, ground control calls with a ground hold. Weather to the west. The FO emits an expletive. I feel the same way. It sounds like we'll be sitting here for forty-five minutes or more. The Captain must make an announcement. I remember these, I hated them. I am not a good public speaker. I rehearsed my announcements at home and tended to say exactly the same thing on every flight. The problem for me always came when I had to make an announcement about a change in plan. But, our Captain this day knew his stuff. He briefly announced the problem and how long ATC thought the delay would take. When he turned off the PA, the FO asked him why he lied? Afterall, didn't the chief widget just say all our problems were the result of little planes? All three of us had a good laugh. It proved to be the best of the day.

Pretty soon, dispatch had come up with a re-route and it was printing out on the cockpit printer. After almost an hour, ATC got the conga line moving again. Before long, it was our turn on the runway. The Captain turned the plane over to the FO. On the Runway, she could turn on the radar. Now, for the first time in a long time we got a real time update on the weather. The storm looked like it was due west of ATL, and the proposed re-route looked like a good one. Launching, the FO was smooth, very smooth. Every motion was done with deftness. We climbed out at 250 KIAS. Even above 10,000 feet. I wondered why, but said nothing. When I was flying the Citation X, I would have transitioned to highspeed climb and boogied on up to FL510 for a long trip. The FO, must have sensed my question. She replied that "management" was restricting them to climbs at 250 KIAS until at least FL 180. A turn to the north and we were on our way, still slogging along. Too bad "management" seems to know how to fly a plane better than the pros in the pit. As it was, they gave their passengers a bumpy ride when a smoother, faster one was available.

Once at altitude, the trip became much nicer. Still slow. It's been two years since I retired from the Citation X, but it's still tough to crawl along at Mach .8 when I'm used to seeing Mach .9 or more. Oh well, the accountants know best how to save prescious fuel, so management can repaint more planes, faster. I swear I have to send Sherwin-Williams a resume.

Arrival at DFW was a snap. The FO was sharp. The Captain had all the checklists down to a fine science. The FO moved quickly through them. All along the way, it was clear that the cockpit team was first rate. She had the numbers nailed all the way to the ground and made a nice landing. I was pleased. On the ground, our gate was ready. We arrived only an hour late, so the PAX were not in a good mood. Of course they weren't stuffed with airline food, so at least they didn't have that to complain about. As we deplaned, a couple of passengers commented on the smooth landing. The Captain was gracious giving all the credit to the FO. One passenger asked who I was. (Wearing a suit in a cockpit makes PAX think you're either a sky marshal or a FAA inspector.) The Captain told him I was an airline pilot on a pass ride. (True enough, though retired from a competing line.) I thanked them for a great ride. Still its no way to run an airline.

Shamus

Hmmm.....bean counters telling the technically adept how to do their job with the customers suffering the consequences....sounds very familiar wabpilot (I work for at&t ).

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A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but
it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

gunnut

Unfortunately airlines need to save fuel to save some bucks. Otherwise they'll have to pass it on to the customers and drive them to another airline.

Most of the established airlines have financial troubles stemmed from generous pension plans and high union wages. They were made before there were so many competitors. Nowadays new airlines like Southwest can come in, unburdened by pension plans and flying a single type of jet, and completely obliterate the old lines' business.

Internationally, national airlines are subsidized by tax payers in other nations, so they can compete no matter what.

The American pension plan needs to be rethought of or reformulated or junked altogether. Retirement needs to be more risky. That sounds cold, I know. But it also makes people more responsible about their own retirement savings and learn more about the market economy.

__________________
"Only Nixon can go to China." -- Old Vulcan proverb.

wabpilot

I'm one of your cell phone customers. I was favorably impressed with Cingular's progress on customer service. So far, AT&T has seemed to keep up the good work.

wabpilot

Agreed, airlines are in a price competitive market. But, customers are not happy with the level of service they are receiving. Airlines with better customer service are more profitable.

Not anymore. Delta, Northwest, Continental, USAirways and United have all gotten rid of their pension obligations through bankruptcy. Most of them have cut union employees wages substantially. And where they could not cut, they outsourced to suppliers who promised to pay minimum wage for the same work. The only people in the airlines who have seen wage and pension increases are the ones who run the place and spend most of their time packing their golden parachutes.

SWA is heavily unionized. True, they have much more flexible work rules but those are negotiated with the various unions. Any airline can negotiate those work rules. Other than one machinist local the other airline unions have been very willing to negotiate. Any airline can rationalize its fleet. And it's a misconception that SWA flies only one type of jet. They have every dash of 737 there is. They have crippled the glass cockpits in the newer 737s so they don't have to train pilots on differing cockpit types. But, that makes SWA's 737s less capable than say American's. I hold two 737 type ratings, one for glass cockpits one for standard. They are very different training pipelines and very different aircraft from an operational point.

And our airlines aren't? Lets see, 90% of airport runway and taxiway costs are paid by the Federal treasury, 100% of the airway system costs are paid for by the federal treasury. Weather, federal treasury. ATC, federal treasury. Security, federal treasury. 10% of runway and taxiway costs are paid by state and local governments. 100% of highway connections to the terminals are paid for by local and state governments. The terminals are paid for by localities, but they do charge the airlines rent.

Agreed, but the pension was a part of the compensation package. I gave up the ability to manage my pension in return for a lower pay and an agreement that the airline would continue to pay me long after I retired. If they wanted me to have that responsibility, they needed to pay me more while I was working.

tankie

Having just returned from a refreshing holiday in Thailand W/P , i flew with Emirates
( just to make sure there were no missile attacks over by downtown Baghdad ?)

and i must admit , it is one of the best airlines i have experienced , the cabin crew were great and the "drivers" take offs and belly flops were very good

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TANKIE , WITHOUT WAX

jtl310

yup emirates and qatar airways are both excellent .. for service qatar takes the cake comfirmed by skytrax... in south asia definitly cathay pacific, and thai are wonderful! In india kingfisher and Jet airways are quite good! In europe KLM was great along with virgin .. and in canada west jet takes the cake and continental isnt too bad for US! ..

worst airline experience ever had was with Air canada! WORST SERVICE EVER! e.g i asked for warm water for my mom the lady comes back with cold water and i politely explain to her i had asked for warm water ... she then replies sternly noo u asked for cold water and here is your cold water! (and she argues with me for 5 minutes saying i had asked for cold water ..i was like excuse me? is this how service works? me getting scolded by a 50 year old air hostess?)

The money goes into the executives pockets .. simple as that!

Officer of Engineers

Worst flight ever - Canadian C130 leaving Sarajevo. Best flight ever - Canadian C130 leaving Sarajevo.

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Chimo

gunnut

I mean subsidized as in they can operate even when losing money. The French national airline (Air France?) gets money directly from the government on top of all those subsidized fees that you mentioned. We subsidize our airlines too if they're about to go bankrupt. But it takes an act of Congress to get that through.

The realities of the new global economy is catching up with our old corporations. GM and Ford just bought out the contract of tens of thousands of union workers. Hopefully this is just a transitional period for our antiquated work rules to modernize.

tankie

dalem

I'm one of those that used to enjoy flying. Now I dread it. Perhaps it's inevitable - maybe one can only fly in coach a certain number of hours before the dread comes.

I've lived the last 15 years near NorthWest hubs (Detroit and Minneapolis) so most of my experience is with them, but I assume that all of their pilots now are ex-Navy: every landing it seems like they're trying to trap a wire or something.

Most important thing to me from my end is seeing a smile. I figure it's a rough, boring job, ferrying squalling idiots like me from hub to hub, but hey, we don't want to be there either.

Most important thing to me from "their" end is not being a jerk. I swear I've gotten rock star treatment from gate agents simply because I didn't blame them for a broken plane or bad weather or whatever. I benefitted one time leaving Vegas because the guys in front of me almost lost their minds when they were told the flight was overbooked and some of us might get bumped. Dude, like there's not going to be another plane soon leaving from Vegas! Come on! I just waited patiently and got bumped myself, to first class.

Etc.

Anyway, I still get a kick out of sitting windowside on the wing and watching the flaps move. Anyone ever read Richard Bach's "Stranger to the Ground"? Great book about being a pilot.

-dale

gunnut

I marvel at the design of an aircraft every time I see one works. The flaps, the ailerons (or are those the elevators, farther out near the tip of the wings), and most of all, thrust reversers on the engines.

The most nervous time is when the plane goes through turbulence and I can see the wings flap like a bird...

Skull6

WABPilot--That piece was refreshing. & yes, I even understood it! (I guess graduating from USAFA, I'll never not be able to translate "pilot-speak.")

Best military-related flight: TWA 747 departing Saudi Arabia returning my unit back to Germany!

Worst military-related flight: C-130 (LA ANG) flight to Shreveport, where my Falcons were playing a bowl game. (I'd like to say it was all due to weather, but the pilot & co-pilot were heard numerous times saying things along the lines of "Let's show these cadets some REAL flying!"--in their cajun accent, of course. At one time, I actually got to use my free-fall training, as we dropped a bit over 1,000 feet due to downdraft)

Best civilian airliner flight: Hands down it was Luftanza 747 flight from Germany to Dulles. Family & I were sitting in coach, but you'd swear we were sitting in 1st class because of the service we received.

Worst civilian airliner flight: United puddle-jumper from Denver to Cinncinnati. 1 hour maintenance wait, change planes only to have pilot push to take off ASAP. Evidentally one of the ramp-rats forgot to inform him that his bilge was full--so no one could use the latrines for the entire flight. That's right--in a puddle-jumper prop plane. I was seriously considering turning the empty water bottle I'd brought onboard into a "fighter pilot's friend" before we landed!

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If you know the enemy and yourself you need not fear the results of a hundred battles. - Sun Tzu

glyn

[quote=gunnut;403592]I marvel at the design of an aircraft every time I see one works. The flaps, the ailerons (or are those the elevators, farther out near the tip of the wings),

Yes.


and most of all, thrust reversers on the engines.

The most nervous time is when the plane goes through turbulence and I can see the wings flap like a bird...

You would be astonished if you knew just how far they have been designed to flex. The action also helps (believe it or not) to give a smoother ride. You would definitely not want to be a pax on a truly rigid design as your dental fillings would be in jeopardy

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Semper in excretum. Solum profunda variat.

dalem

My USAF friends and acquainances have told me some interesting stories about their exploits too. Yikes!

-dale