Raunchy Jokes....Beware bnefore entering!

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  1. YellowFever
    A world famous baker, renowned for baking the best cookies in the world, set up shop in a small building. It's a weird neighborhood as his customers asks for the weirdest tasting cookies he's ever heard of, but he always delivered. Cookies that taste like meatloaf, cookies that taste like pineapple, cookies that taste like fish...he always delivered so he was rather pleased with his life like re-creations.

    One day a man walks in and asks to speak to the baker.

    "Hey I want you to bake me a cookie that tastes like p*ssy". the man says.

    The baker was stunned.

    "You heard me", the man says, "You're famous for creating realistic tasting cookies, and I want you to make my cookies taste like p*ssy!"

    The baker says, "OK...I don't know how to do it , but I'll make the cookies taste exactly like p*ssy."...
  2. YellowFever
    A week later, the man comes back and waits for his cookie.

    The baker brings out cookies on a dish and tells the man that this is the best he could do.

    The man takes a cookie and takes a bite out of it....and spits it out. "Yuuukk......hey man, I wanted my cookies to taste like p*ssy not shit....this cookie tastes like shit!", the man says in righteous indignantion.

    The baker says, "Hey, you have to bite the other side!"
  3. tankie
    A guy is out with his girl at a bar , the girl goes to the bar (like all girls should) to get the drinks , she comes back furious , wassup says the guy ,,, that man at the bar said he would like to suck my t,ts , the bastard i will kill him he says ,, haa , thats not all she said , he wanted to stick his d,ck down my throat ,, right he says thats it ,, no no wait , thats not all , he said he wanted to shove his d,ck up my bum OMG he says , he,s fcukin dead ,, and stands up to go and smack him one ,, wait wait she says thats not all , he said he wanted to stand me on my head , fill my p,ssy full o beer and drink it all down in one go , huh says the guy and sits down looking sheepishly

    ( dont get any ideas pari)

    and drinks his beer , his G/F said , well what ya waiting for , go on , protect my honour

    Nahh says the guy

    Anyone who can drink that much beer has got to be tough
  4. tankie
    "Daddy?" the kid asked his father. "Where did I come from?"
    "Ask your mother," he replied.
    "I did," the kid said. "But I don't think she was telling the truth. She
    said I came from a bucket."

    "Hmmmm," chuckled his dad.

    "That's about the size of it…"
  5. tankie
    What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?

    Fur traders.
  6. Knaur Amarsh
    Knaur Amarsh
    A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young Mothers and their small children.

    'You all have obsessions,' he observed.

    To the first mother, Mary, he said, 'You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy.'

    He turned to the second Mom,
    Ann: 'Your obsession is with money.
    Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny.'

    He turned to the third Mom,
    Joyce: 'Your obsession is alcohol.
    This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy.'

    At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, 'Come on, Dick, we're leaving. Your brothers Peter and Willy are waiting for us.
  7. tankie
    This girl walks in to a doctors office and she asks "Whats a failic symbol?
    Doctor says "you're kidding.."
    Girl says "no! I don't know! Whats a failic symbol???"
    Doctor pulls his pants and underwear down and says "You see? This is a
    failic symbol!"

    Girl says "Oh! Its just like a prick ,

    only smaller"
  8. Southie
    I have to admit guys...they are pretty good ones! lol
  9. tankie
    The nervous young bride became irritated by her husband's lusty advances
    on their wedding night and reprimanded him severely. "I demand proper
    manners in bed," she declared, "just as I do at the dinner table."
    Amused by his wife's formality, the groom smoothed his rumpled hair and
    climbed quietly between the sheets. "Is that better?" he asked, with a
    hint of a smile." "Yes," replied the girl, "much better." "Very good,
    darling," the husband whispered.

    "Now would you be so kind as to please pass the p,ssy."
  10. tankie
    This guy owns a horse stud farm, and gets a call from a friend
    "I know this midget with a speech impediment who wants to buy
    a horse, I'm sending him over."
    The midget arrives, and the owner asks if he wants a male or
    female horse.
    "A female horth," the midget replies.
    So the owner shows him one.
    "Nith looking horth, can I see thea her mouth?"
    So the owner picks up the midget and shows him the horse s mouth.
    "Nith mouth. Can I see her eyesth?"
    So the owner picks up the midget and shows the eyes.
    "Ok, what about the earsth?"
    Now the owner is getting pissed, but he picks up the midget one
    more time and shows the ears.
    "OK, finally, I d like to see her tw#t," said the midget.
    With that, the owner picked up the midget and shoved his head up
    the horse's tw#t, then pulled him out.
    Shaking his head, the midget says, "perhapth I should rephrase.

    I'd like to thee her run!"
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