Passport

**tankie** · 24 Nov 11,, 12:04

Allegedly a true letter .

ACTUAL PASSPORT LETTER-----HILARIOUS!

This apparently is an actual letter received by the UK Passport Office.

Dear Sirs,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 1977, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was bloody born and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my pension book, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my National Health card, my driving license, my car insurance, on the last eight damn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Mary Anne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be abso-f***ing-lutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!

I apologise. I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my f****ing address!!!!

What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthal arseholes workin' there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden?
I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my arse on some sandy beach somewhere. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, you'd be the last f****ing people I'd want to tell!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the poxy city to get another f****ing copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of £30. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??
Nooooooooooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the f****in' place like chickens with our heads cut off, then have to find some arsehole to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic f****in' morons) Hey, do you know why we couldn't smile if we wanted to? Because we're totally pissed off!

Signed

An Irate Citizen.

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 .......... I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had full security clearances over 25 of those years enabling me to undertake highly secretive missions all over the world.
......... However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor -

WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN PAKISTAN !

Sincerely

**Doktor** · 24 Nov 11,, 12:14

I bet they will find him immediately

**Chogy** · 24 Nov 11,, 13:56

Originally Posted by Doktor

I bet they will find him immediately

Haha! Yes, when they want to, they can find you... or they can find whatever information they'd like to, on you. And your activities.

It all reminds me a bit of the TSA and my own pilot job in the USA. I'm ex military, held some deep clearances, have now been flying for years for a major airline, and I'm still scrutinized like I'm some al Quaeda dude in a stolen uniform. They have crew lists. They have lists of Part 121 pilots, holders of ATP licenses. We should have had a biometric "you may enter the secure area" system within a year after 9-11.

Bureaucracies are the same the world over.

**FJV** · 24 Nov 11,, 20:57

The use of govt. records should be limited and viewed with suspicion.

Historical experience shows what happens when very efficient govt. records fall in the hands of tirannical regimes when they gain power.

In this case what is complained about does not have to be such a bad thing.

For such reasons the process could be inefficient by design.

**lemontree** · 25 Nov 11,, 04:56

Lol..and thought that we had it bad

**bigross86** · 25 Nov 11,, 07:56

FJV, do you honestly see a tyrannical regime coming to power in the US/UK (not quite sure where that was meant to be written), that you think the gov't keeping good records is a bad thing?

**FJV** · 25 Nov 11,, 17:49

Originally Posted by bigross86

FJV, do you honestly see a tyrannical regime coming to power in the US/UK (not quite sure where that was meant to be written), that you think the gov't keeping good records is a bad thing?

Gov't keeping good records is not a bad thing per se, just made the point that govt. record keeping is subject to different considerations, than commercial record keeping.

A tyrannical regime coming to power anytime in the US/UK soon that likelyhood I don't know. Being in the Netherlands I have seen some bad developements in that direction though. Certain rightwing (and leftwing) politicians have a very nasty authoritarian side if you look beyond the surface.

**Double Edge** · 25 Nov 11,, 21:31

This one's a keeper, haven't had this good a laugh for a while

Cheers

**JAD_333** · 25 Nov 11,, 23:03

Hilarious. It's gone viral.

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 1977, and yet, the Government is still as

**omon** · 25 Nov 11,, 23:27

actually question about farm visiting is perfectly valid, and reasonable.
anyone familiar with Asian carp problem? that is a "big" example, smaller ones are usually more dangerous

**Doktor** · 26 Nov 11,, 00:03

I thought the farm question is designed for the Welsh residents, traveling to NZ

**omon** · 26 Nov 11,, 00:20

Originally Posted by Doktor

I thought the farm question is designed for the Welsh residents, traveling to NZ

it is asked in usa as well, as you go thru customs\immigration.

**Doktor** · 26 Nov 11,, 00:42

The passports for adults usually last 10 years.

What's the purpose of that question?

**TopHatter** · 26 Nov 11,, 00:55

*sigh* I have to get a passport and I keep procrastinating.

On the upside, I got my new driver's license really easily, even with the Real ID law, mainly because I read the requirements before I went down to the DMV and I complied with them as well.

Now, having jumped through all those hoops, will this help me get a passport any quicker? I'm certain the answer is HELL NO

**rickshaw92** · 26 Nov 11,, 01:24

Originally Posted by Doktor

The passports for adults usually last 10 years.

Lucky you. We in Canada only get 5 years. The one I just got, my 6th in 18 years is only good for 2 years. Seems the one that was about to expire was not good enough to prove citizenship with out my birth certificate to back it up even though the passport clearly says I was born in Ottawa. Money grabbing tossers.