Southie

I was talking with a friend one day about an embarrassing moment I had while on active duty and wanted to hear other stories.

Here's mine...While I was stationed at Tyndall AFB, I did the Awards and Decorations program. Once the packages met the board I would take them with the score sheets over to General Horners office for his signature. One day I was talking with the administrative clerk about one the packages and was in a squatting position. I was wearing my skirt and heels. Well, General Horner came out of his office and everyone stood up at attention. I went to stand up, my heel got caught in my skirt hem, and I landed on my a$$. General Horner was really cool about it, came over and offered his hand to help me up. I finished my business there, and left the office. Later that day I went over to pick up the packages. The sun was real bright, and my head was down. Just as I looked up, I ran right into General Horner. It was not a good day for me!

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“When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.” - Jimi Hendrix
Don't Worry, Be Happy - Bobby McFerrin

glyn

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Semper in excretum. Solum profunda variat.

Triple C

My friend's comrade in his egineer company sounded the alarm after siting an unidentified flying object at his sentry watch. Just a few days prior a Taiwanese special forces team "raided" the base and achieved the simulated destruction of the division. The man that missed the "opfor" in that suprise war game was thrown into the brig--solitary confinement for gross incompetence, says the C.O. The new guy was not about to take his chances. He radioed his superior for suspected hostile contact. The C.O. inquired his higher ups about the existence of any further unschedualed military excercises. The negatory prompted the division to go crazy, looking for communist parachutists. No one had any sleep until the offending baloon, allegely quite extraordinary in size, was dully captured, and presumably destroyed.

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What benefits the body is called medicine; what benefits the soul, discipline.
-Augustine of Hippo

Officer of Engineers

Kilt. The Queen's Own Camerons. Bachelor Party. Strip Club.

I'm sure you all could put it together.

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Chimo

sappersgt

I threw up not quite on the General but close enough to splatter his shoes. I had just been released from hospital for an awards ceremony and they had shot me full of Demerol and Benzedrine. Let me tell you I was feeling pretty darned good! I was warned to only speak in single word sentences and to NOT drink the whiskey but I couldn't hardly refuse to toast the General now could I? I not sure if it was the second or third (fourth?) whiskey that did me in. Oh well, I got promoted anyway.

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Reddite igitur quae sunt Caesaris Caesari et quae sunt Dei Deo
(Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's and unto God the things which are God's)

soutie

one thing i hated during basics was hand grenade drill,was bloody terrified of them ,we where on the border and one friday afternoon we had weapons drill,
some brightspark of a colonel decided that everyone should throw hand grenades well i told them oh no not me ,well an order is an order i picked this h26 grenade up held it in my sweaty hands proceded to sling the bloody thing ,i managed to throw it sideways its the quikest i have seen 2 major one colonel and a captain disappear 3 inches under the dirt,recovering from the intial shock i apologised for my clumsyness ,the major turned to the colonel and said you owe me 50 rand i know this guy he cannot throw an orange never mind a hand grenade ,the buggers we actually betting on me

sappersgt

Soutie, I'm still laughing!

My CO and I were observing grenade drill one afternoon when one the men dropped a live grenade. In an almost perfectly choreographed movement we both dove over the sandbag wall, me landing first, he coming down a fraction of a second later and knocking the wind out of me. The Sargeant in charge of the drill calmly kicked the grenade into the sump and pulled the hapless soldier to the ground as it went off.

As we both got up he said, "Sargeant, you've got dirt on your uniform." His uniform was clean of course as he had landed on top of me. He then followed up with, "you're getting slow, if you'd been quicker you could've kicked that grenade into the sump".

I paused for a moment and replied, "Slow? Well, I did beat you, Sir!"

tommyp48

It was 1968 and in some port in the Med and I was the bow hook of the Captain's Gig of the USS SELLERS DDG-11. We made the quarterdeck and picked up the skipper. Then we went and got the commodore of the destroyer division we were part of. With him aboard we made our way to the USS INDEPENDENCE CVA 62, a huge attack carrier of the Forrestal Class.

We made it to the base of the carrier's stern and I grabbed a rail on the bottom of their accomomdation ladder. The water was rough and I could not hold onto both the gig and the carrier. They didn't give us much training like telling us to always stay with the boat or practicing it and I lost the gig. This was very unprofessional and it made our skipper look bad in front of the commodore. I felt like an idiot standing there, very much alone, on the bottom platform of the carrier's accommodation ladder waiting for the gig and the skipper to come back. I was a good swabbie with good quarterly marks but that is the one incident in my career that I wish had not happened.