Stories! - Page 4

**Shek** · 04-16-2006, 15:15 PM

Cut and paste from another thread - figured I'd consolidate my post with this thread:

Quote:

Reminds me of a GREAT story one of my SSGs told when I was a PL. He grew up in 3/75 until SSG, and then came to Italy for a tour. Anyways, his SL (when my SL was a private) told them about his Panama experience. He was supposed to jump in, but about a minute out while everyone was hooked up, the formation started taking ground fire and he got hit in the leg or somewhere where he wasn't in any condition to jump and fight. He screamed out "I'M HIT!!!!" and unhooked from the static line so the Rangers behind him could jump.

Well, in the confusion of the fire, the noise from having the doors open, and the general adrenaline rush, the Rangers around him thought he yelled "I QUIT!!!!" So, word got around that this SL was a jump refusal and they were talking sh!t about him for the weeks that they were in Panama. So, when they returned to Benning, they expected that the Black Chinook would have taken him and that they wouldn't even find a trace of him (since a jump refusal would mean automatically being kicked out of Ranger Regiment in disgrace). Well, they didn't know what to make of it when they saw him on crutches in the company AO when the unit got back. However, they quickly learned why he unhooked, and all was forgiven!

**Officer of Engineers** · 04-16-2006, 15:30 PM

How about Regiment Day where Officers and NCMs play a broomball game against each other and broom sticks hit bone alot more than broom straw hit ball.

**Officer of Engineers** · 04-16-2006, 15:48 PM

This one is about the AF.

A new Wing Commander took over Cold Lake and decided to leave his mark right away. He ordered all Non-Commission Members to clear the fields surrounding the runway each morning. The 1st morning, he looked out the window and to his surprise see his Captains, Majors, and Colonels right beside the NCMs picking up garbage.

Flabbergasted he went out and grabbed the nearest Colonel and demanded what the hell is going on.

"Sir, that's my clerk," pointing to a Sergeant. "He knows where my paper work is and what files are where. I can't start doing my job until I help him finish cleaning this field."

Garbage detail cancelled.

**Officer of Engineers** · 04-16-2006, 15:54 PM

Another one. This time at NDHQ.

A New Director (a Brigadier-General) noticed that almost all his NCMs come in at 08:00 while his officers come in at 09:00. Thinking that officers should set the example, he ordered all officers to come in at 07:00.

Well, the 1st week, he noticed that the NCMs came in at 06:00.

He asked a Chief Warrant Officer (Regimental Sergeant-Major rank) what's going on.

He replied, "Sir, we need that extra hour just to prepare the stuff for the officers to do their job."

Blademaster · 04-16-2006, 17:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Officer of Engineers

He replied, "Sir, we need that extra hour just to prepare the stuff for the officers to do their job."

Does that mean your seargant or warrant officer left big red block texts telling you on how to improve your grammar , how to write a report and what a good job you are doing and ?

Blademaster · 04-16-2006, 17:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Officer of Engineers

"Sir, that's my clerk," pointing to a Sergeant. "He knows where my paper work is and what files are where. I can't start doing my job until I help him finish cleaning this field."

I wonder if that officer needed an hand finding toilet paper to wipe his ass.

**Officer of Engineers** · 04-16-2006, 17:27 PM

You do realize that I am a dinosaur and I started my career when the main instrument was still the electric typewriter.

Anon · 04-16-2006, 20:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Officer of Engineers

You do realize that I am a dinosaur and I started my career when the main instrument was still the electric typewriter.

W had those two.

There was not a single puter i can recall in my whole Bn.

**Shek** · 04-16-2006, 21:24 PM

Believe or not, mimeographs (ditto machines) are still in the Active Army inventory. When I was the S4, we saw this lateral transfer of some weird line item number (LIN) to our HHC. When the other unit's supply SGT showed up to transfer the mimeograph, the HHC XO came and got me, saying "Sir, you won't believe what that XYZ actually is!"

We turned down the transfer - I think I hadn't seen one of those things in nearly two decades, and that when I was in grade school.

Just to make you feel older Snipe, my PLs were complaining because they didn't have internet access on their computers in their PLT CPs.

sappersgt · 04-16-2006, 21:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Officer of Engineers

You do realize that I am a dinosaur and I started my career when the main instrument was still the electric typewriter.

Before email I used to get letters from home on my CO's fax machine. Mail from the US to South Africa took at least 2 weeks and the fax was cheaper than a regular phone call at peak hours.

**TopHatter** · 04-16-2006, 22:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shek

Believe or not, mimeographs (ditto machines) are still in the Active Army inventory.

Oh my god...dittos! Havent seen those since...well, two decades ago in grade school

We'd occasionally get them still damp and naturally smelling strongly of whatever ink they used.

Ahhh...memories.

RustyBattleship · 04-16-2006, 22:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Officer of Engineers

You do realize that I am a dinosaur and I started my career when the main instrument was still the electric typewriter.

You had an ELECTRIC typwriter? Gawd, does THAT make me feel old.

**Officer of Engineers** · 04-16-2006, 22:54 PM

We still had the manual beasts while in the field.

**Officer of Engineers** · 07-28-2006, 23:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ray

Op Vijay and the Feathered
Battle Casualty

...I was impressed that modernity or Delhi had not ruined the good old Indian ethos of the General, even though he was a Baywatch [he called it Body Watch] fan!

I MISSED THIS?!?!?!? ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!

**Officer of Engineers** · 09-13-2006, 10:01 AM

This one got to be added because it happenned here on the WAB.

The Brigadier and I were exchanging emails dealing with military publications. Inadvertingly, I used the term Indian "bellycrawlers." According to the Brigadier, that had him perplexed for a minute and he was getting a bit annoyed at this new Canadian being overbearing again.

Then, he figured out that I was using the term for army chaps. I did not get the impression that he was impressed at first but eventually, the term got to him.

At his Regt's Reunion, he started calling everybody a bellycrawler. At first, they were a bit insulted but by the end of the night, they were all using the "globblygook."

Most particular, he introduced the term to the Indian VCAS, a felllow Engineer and told him it was a Canadian Engineer. Now, the VCAS uses the term and everyone thinks the man graduated from the US Staff School.

Thanks to the WAB, an Indian General has graduated from one of the top military schools in the world without ever attending a class.

04-16-2006, 15:30 PM	#47 (permalink)
Officer of Engineers *Military Professional* Moderator Scotch taster Join Date: 08-06-03 Posts: 15,918 Country:	How about Regiment Day where Officers and NCMs play a broomball game against each other and broom sticks hit bone alot more than broom straw hit ball. __________________ Chimo

09-13-2006, 10:01 AM	#60 (permalink)
Officer of Engineers *Military Professional* Moderator Scotch taster Join Date: 08-06-03 Posts: 15,918 Country:	This one got to be added because it happenned here on the WAB. The Brigadier and I were exchanging emails dealing with military publications. Inadvertingly, I used the term Indian "bellycrawlers." According to the Brigadier, that had him perplexed for a minute and he was getting a bit annoyed at this new Canadian being overbearing again. Then, he figured out that I was using the term for army chaps. I did not get the impression that he was impressed at first but eventually, the term got to him. At his Regt's Reunion, he started calling everybody a bellycrawler. At first, they were a bit insulted but by the end of the night, they were all using the "globblygook." Most particular, he introduced the term to the Indian VCAS, a felllow Engineer and told him it was a Canadian Engineer. Now, the VCAS uses the term and everyone thinks the man graduated from the US Staff School. Thanks to the WAB, an Indian General has graduated from one of the top military schools in the world without ever attending a class. Last edited by Officer of Engineers : 09-13-2006 at 10:03 AM.

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04-16-2006, 15:48 PM	#48 (permalink)
Officer of Engineers *Military Professional* Moderator Scotch taster Join Date: 08-06-03 Posts: 15,918 Country:	This one is about the AF. A new Wing Commander took over Cold Lake and decided to leave his mark right away. He ordered all Non-Commission Members to clear the fields surrounding the runway each morning. The 1st morning, he looked out the window and to his surprise see his Captains, Majors, and Colonels right beside the NCMs picking up garbage. Flabbergasted he went out and grabbed the nearest Colonel and demanded what the hell is going on. "Sir, that's my clerk," pointing to a Sergeant. "He knows where my paper work is and what files are where. I can't start doing my job until I help him finish cleaning this field." Garbage detail cancelled.

04-16-2006, 15:54 PM	#49 (permalink)
Officer of Engineers *Military Professional* Moderator Scotch taster Join Date: 08-06-03 Posts: 15,918 Country:	Another one. This time at NDHQ. A New Director (a Brigadier-General) noticed that almost all his NCMs come in at 08:00 while his officers come in at 09:00. Thinking that officers should set the example, he ordered all officers to come in at 07:00. Well, the 1st week, he noticed that the NCMs came in at 06:00. He asked a Chief Warrant Officer (Regimental Sergeant-Major rank) what's going on. He replied, "Sir, we need that extra hour just to prepare the stuff for the officers to do their job."

04-16-2006, 17:27 PM	#52 (permalink)
Officer of Engineers *Military Professional* Moderator Scotch taster Join Date: 08-06-03 Posts: 15,918 Country:	You do realize that I am a dinosaur and I started my career when the main instrument was still the electric typewriter.

04-16-2006, 21:24 PM	#54 (permalink)
Shek *Military Professional* Moderator Join Date: 02-23-05 Location: Krblachistan Posts: 7,629 Country:	Believe or not, mimeographs (ditto machines) are still in the Active Army inventory. When I was the S4, we saw this lateral transfer of some weird line item number (LIN) to our HHC. When the other unit's supply SGT showed up to transfer the mimeograph, the HHC XO came and got me, saying "Sir, you won't believe what that XYZ actually is!" We turned down the transfer - I think I hadn't seen one of those things in nearly two decades, and that when I was in grade school. Just to make you feel older Snipe, my PLs were complaining because they didn't have internet access on their computers in their PLT CPs.

04-16-2006, 22:54 PM	#58 (permalink)
Officer of Engineers *Military Professional* Moderator Scotch taster Join Date: 08-06-03 Posts: 15,918 Country:	We still had the manual beasts while in the field.

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