Stories! - Page 18

Expat Canuck · 08-22-2007, 02:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soutie

the medical was a joke there we where standing in our broekies,underpants ,coughing when told to

generally just fit for military service ,the problem with me was i only have 5 % vision in my left eye,now it was time for the eye exam ,their was this staff sarge who said to me in afrikaans read from top to bottom ,cover up your left eye ,so i useed my left hand to cover up my left eye ,i have my faults but i am not a shirker.
He then said okay now do the same with your other eye ,he then looked down onto his chart to start marking what i was reading ,so i took my right hand and covered up my left eye

according to the SADF i have perfect vision ,a guy behind me said ,i cannot believe you got away with that .

My father made artificial eyes for years and he had a patient that got away with that trick for 20 years before getting caught by the motor vehicle department for his license.

Southie · 08-23-2007, 07:44 AM

I'm sure you are familiar with the coin challenge?! Well, today my boss, retired LTC (Principal of the school) challenged me with his coin! All I had to offer was a Vitaminwater! Lame, but in school, can't exactly buy a drink!

Shamus · 08-23-2007, 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Southie

I'm sure you are familiar with the coin challenge?! Well, today my boss, retired LTC (Principal of the school) challenged me with his coin! All I had to offer was a Vitaminwater! Lame, but in school, can't exactly buy a drink!

OK Southie,I give.....What's the coin challenge?

Southie · 08-23-2007, 13:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shamus

OK Southie,I give.....What's the coin challenge?

Usually the unit you're assigned to has a unit coin that you are supposed to carry with you at all times, especially when you go to the NCO/Officer club. My unit in Korea, Det 4, 1 SPSS had a coin with the satelite balls on it and the acronym "BBOB" on it. Stood for Biggest Balls on Base.

Anyway, when you're at the clubs, if someone presents the coin, by tapping it on the table, everybody has to take their coin out and the last person or the person without a coin has to buy a round of drinks.

Expat Canuck · 08-23-2007, 22:27 PM

I've never heard that one before.

I like it!

Albany Rifles · 08-24-2007, 08:49 AM

Before I left the BDU world I was often required, usually quite succesfully, to meet any and all challenges. Since I have been a defense contractor lo these many years, I have received more coins...which I usually now use as shims in my workshop!

I was recently with several colleagues (read that to be a bunch of old Army retirees farts) enjoying libations on a business trip. One of the junior members of the group whipped out his 82d ABN DIV coin from his company commander days. All kinds of coins hit the table and a knew I was being set up since I had made it clear I no longer carried any Army coins. I acted worried at first and then reached into my wallet and pulled out my Scoutmaster's coin! Everyone agreed that it was a most worthy substitute, I enjoyed a 24 oz Sam Adams and the junior member of the group learned to not mess with the old dogs!

Bluesman · 08-24-2007, 09:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Albany Rifles

Before I left the BDU world I was often required, usually quite succesfully, to meet any and all challenges. Since I have been a defense contractor lo these many years, I have received more coins...which I usually now use as shims in my workshop!

I was recently with several colleagues (read that to be a bunch of old Army retirees farts) enjoying libations on a business trip. One of the junior members of the group whipped out his 82d ABN DIV coin from his company commander days. All kinds of coins hit the table and a knew I was being set up since I had made it clear I no longer carried any Army coins. I acted worried at first and then reached into my wallet and pulled out my Scoutmaster's coin! Everyone agreed that it was a most worthy substitute, I enjoyed a 24 oz Sam Adams and the junior member of the group learned to not mess with the old dogs!

HAH! That's AWESOME!

soutie · 08-24-2007, 09:20 AM

we had this guy in our platoon his name was winterbach ,i served with him for 2 years,now this huy also had a bad stuttering problem,his Engkish was not very good at tyhe best of times ,he was and still is a good friend.

Anyway Winterbach was also quite the skinny guy and he had this dry sense of humour when he could get a sentance out.Our RSM before we deployed in to Angola said to us that we where to have an inspection in our tents.What we did not know he was coming around just asking as about our families and first names.

Winterbachs first name was Ignacious ,winterbach stuttered on the letter I

RSM came into our tent

"Winterbach whats your first name"

IIIGGGGGGGNNNNNN, sigh

"Winterbach take a deep breath and try again"

IIIIIIGGGGGNNNNNNNNN sigh again then he replied

"RSM FOCK THAT CALL ME WINTERBACH "

You had to be there

glyn · 08-24-2007, 10:44 AM

There are those who hold the view that officers wield extraordinary powers, but this true anecdote shows that Sergeant Majors can trump them. I was taking a formal barrack room inspection where everything was generally satisfactory until I came to the end bed of one room when the young soldier standing to attention there suddenly had a nosebleed. The blood spurted out quite alarmingly and I hopped back out of range. within a moment the soldiers shirt went quite red. The Sar'major roared "Stop bleeding!" at the top of his voice and amazingly the blood flow stopped as suddenly as it had begun. I was astonished, but the SSM accepted it naturally. That, my friends, is a demonstration of power!

Ray · 08-25-2007, 04:45 AM

Extraordinary as it may seem, but when my Company Havildar Major was haranguing me about how something could not be done when I was commanding a post on the Line of Control because it was raining, I yelled at him, out of exasperation and hopelessness, and told him to stop the rain!

He saluted me and walked out and popped back immediately saluting smartly and reporting that he had stopped the rain!

I walked out and indeed, the rain had stopped!

God, sometimes, listen to Havildar Majors!

dave lukins · 08-25-2007, 09:46 AM

Brigadier did you rush outside and shout...."Yash Sidhi"?

**Officer of Engineers** · 08-25-2007, 12:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ray

Extraordinary as it may seem, but when my Company Havildar Major was haranguing me about how something could not be done when I was commanding a post on the Line of Control because it was raining, I yelled at him, out of exasperation and hopelessness, and told him to stop the rain!

He saluted me and walked out and popped back immediately saluting smartly and reporting that he had stopped the rain!

I walked out and indeed, the rain had stopped!

God, sometimes, listen to Havildar Majors!

Sir,

Sgt-Majs are the craftiest of animals. I remember when my Bde Col came down to my sqn and said, this has to be done and done now. My SSM replied, it's already been taken care of.

I was stunned but had the sense to shut up. After I asked my SSM, "When did we do that?"

"We didn't and we won't but he won't know about it."

Ray · 08-25-2007, 14:17 PM

Expat Canuck · 08-27-2007, 01:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Officer of Engineers

Sir,

Sgt-Majs are the craftiest of animals. I remember when my Bde Col came down to my sqn and said, this has to be done and done now. My SSM replied, it's already been taken care of.

I was stunned but had the sense to shut up. After I asked my SSM, "When did we do that?"

"We didn't and we won't but he won't know about it."

How do they get away with this stuff? Do they just not care if they get in ****?

What kind of punishment could an officer even dish out anyway?

Ray · 08-27-2007, 02:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dave lukins

Brigadier did you rush outside and shout...."Yash Sidhi"?

Dave,

Can you read Hindi?

How did you know that?

08-23-2007, 07:44 AM	#257 (permalink)
Southie USAF Retired TSgt *Military Professional* Join Date: 04-09-07 Location: Tampa FL Posts: 1,560 Country:	I'm sure you are familiar with the coin challenge?! Well, today my boss, retired LTC (Principal of the school) challenged me with his coin! All I had to offer was a Vitaminwater! Lame, but in school, can't exactly buy a drink! __________________ “When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.” - Jimi Hendrix Don't Worry, Be Happy - Bobby McFerrin

08-24-2007, 08:49 AM	#261 (permalink)
Albany Rifles *Defense Professional* *Military Professional* Join Date: 04-27-07 Location: Prince George, VA Posts: 1,019 Country:	Southie Coin Challenge Before I left the BDU world I was often required, usually quite succesfully, to meet any and all challenges. Since I have been a defense contractor lo these many years, I have received more coins...which I usually now use as shims in my workshop! I was recently with several colleagues (read that to be a bunch of old Army retirees farts) enjoying libations on a business trip. One of the junior members of the group whipped out his 82d ABN DIV coin from his company commander days. All kinds of coins hit the table and a knew I was being set up since I had made it clear I no longer carried any Army coins. I acted worried at first and then reached into my wallet and pulled out my Scoutmaster's coin! Everyone agreed that it was a most worthy substitute, I enjoyed a 24 oz Sam Adams and the junior member of the group learned to not mess with the old dogs! __________________ "Always with the negative waves Moriarty, always with the negative waves." TSGT Oddball, Tank Commander

08-24-2007, 10:44 AM	#264 (permalink)
glyn *Military Professional* Join Date: 09-15-06 Location: Penzance, Cornwall UK Posts: 6,537	There are those who hold the view that officers wield extraordinary powers, but this true anecdote shows that Sergeant Majors can trump them. I was taking a formal barrack room inspection where everything was generally satisfactory until I came to the end bed of one room when the young soldier standing to attention there suddenly had a nosebleed. The blood spurted out quite alarmingly and I hopped back out of range. within a moment the soldiers shirt went quite red. The Sar'major roared "Stop bleeding!" at the top of his voice and amazingly the blood flow stopped as suddenly as it had begun. I was astonished, but the SSM accepted it naturally. That, my friends, is a demonstration of power! __________________ Semper in excretum. Solum profunda variat.

08-25-2007, 04:45 AM	#265 (permalink)
Ray Postmaster General *Military Professional* Join Date: 08-20-03 Posts: 26,144 Country:	Extraordinary as it may seem, but when my Company Havildar Major was haranguing me about how something could not be done when I was commanding a post on the Line of Control because it was raining, I yelled at him, out of exasperation and hopelessness, and told him to stop the rain! He saluted me and walked out and popped back immediately saluting smartly and reporting that he had stopped the rain! I walked out and indeed, the rain had stopped! God, sometimes, listen to Havildar Majors! __________________ "Some have learnt many Tricks of sly Evasion, Instead of Truth they use Equivocation, And eke it out with mental Reservation, Which is to good Men an Abomination." I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to. HAKUNA MATATA

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08-23-2007, 22:27 PM	#260 (permalink)
Expat Canuck Homesick Fool *Military Professional* Join Date: 05-17-05 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 1,014 Country:	I've never heard that one before. I like it!

08-24-2007, 09:20 AM	#263 (permalink)
soutie *Military Professional* Join Date: 01-05-07 Location: spain Posts: 415	we had this guy in our platoon his name was winterbach ,i served with him for 2 years,now this huy also had a bad stuttering problem,his Engkish was not very good at tyhe best of times ,he was and still is a good friend. Anyway Winterbach was also quite the skinny guy and he had this dry sense of humour when he could get a sentance out.Our RSM before we deployed in to Angola said to us that we where to have an inspection in our tents.What we did not know he was coming around just asking as about our families and first names. Winterbachs first name was Ignacious ,winterbach stuttered on the letter I RSM came into our tent "Winterbach whats your first name" IIIGGGGGGGNNNNNN, sigh "Winterbach take a deep breath and try again" IIIIIIGGGGGNNNNNNNNN sigh again then he replied "RSM FOCK THAT CALL ME WINTERBACH " You had to be there

08-25-2007, 09:46 AM	#266 (permalink)
dave lukins *Military Professional* Join Date: 01-04-07 Location: cheshire uk Posts: 4,747 Country:	Brigadier did you rush outside and shout...."Yash Sidhi"?

08-25-2007, 14:17 PM	#268 (permalink)
Ray Postmaster General *Military Professional* Join Date: 08-20-03 Posts: 26,144 Country:

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