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Is Hell Exothermic Or Endothermic ?

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  • Is Hell Exothermic Or Endothermic ?

    Another one sent to me. Kid deserved the A. ROFLMAO.

    The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington Chemistry mid term. The answer was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

    BONUS QUESTION: IS HELL EXOTHERMIC (GIVES OFF HEAT) OR ENDOTHERMIC (ABSORBS HEAT)?

    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed), or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
    _______________________

    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul goes to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

    As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

    With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

    Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.
    This gives two possibilities:

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

    2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

    So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic, and will not freeze.
    _______________________

    The student received the only 'A' given.

  • #2
    I've seen a few different versions of this one over the years, and it is my favorite Internet Legend. I really really hope it's true. ;)

    -dale

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    • #3
      The correct answer is this obviously, hell is Exothermic.
      "Any relations in a social order will endure if there is infused into them some of that spirit of human sympathy, which qualifies life for immortality." ~ George William Russell

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      • #4
        Please be true.

        As to the question - God only knows.

        Reminds me of the other urban (urbane?) myth paper in philosophy:

        Is this a question?

        reply:

        If this is an answer.

        Apparently someone else answered with "**** off you ponce". They probably didn't get a First.
        Where's the bloody gin? An army marches on its liver, not its ruddy stomach.

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        • #5
          Snopes.com had this to say....

          Variations:
          Commonly, the piece begins with a statement meant to authenticate the story. "An actual question given on University of Washington chemistry midterm," "from a Yale professor," and "Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997" have been spotted so far.

          Sometimes the student's comments culminate in the assertion that hell must be exothermic because a girl he'd been chasing had sworn it'd be a cold day in hell before she'd sleep with him, and he'd so far been unable to get to first base with her.

          Often the story concludes with "The student received the only 'A' given on the exam."


          The piece quoted above likely began as a humor post to the newsgroup rec.humor in 1997. Its roots, however, are far older: an unattributed parody of a scientific proof concluding Heaven was hotter than Hell appeared in a 1972 edition of Applied Optics, a story found in a 1962 book (reprinted from a 1960 magazine) is a mathematical "proof" that heaven is hotter than hell, and article published in a 1979 edition of the Journal of Irreproducible Results written by Dr. Tim Healey (written as a response to the Applied Optics piece) carried the joke one step farther by arguing that Hell was hotter still. Though these older pieces don't directly correlate with what has now become a standardized bit of Internet lore, the themes are similar enough for us to postulate that the older versions sparked the newer ones.

          Interestingly enough, the purported student's opening gambit, "We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass," stands in opposition to the position taken centuries ago by the Roman Catholic Church. The Holy See had given its official approval to a particular line of scientific thought, the vacuum, to specificially allow for immaterial forms such as weightless souls and armies of angels in what would otherwise be a filled universe. Without vacuums, places where measurable matter does not exist, both Heaven and Hell and all their denizens would have no place in the cosmic order of things. The time-honored Aristotelian assertion "Nature abhors a vacuum" had to be (and was) elbowed out of the way because the vacuum was a theological necessity.
          “He was the most prodigious personification of all human inferiorities. He was an utterly incapable, unadapted, irresponsible, psychopathic personality, full of empty, infantile fantasies, but cursed with the keen intuition of a rat or a guttersnipe. He represented the shadow, the inferior part of everybody’s personality, in an overwhelming degree, and this was another reason why they fell for him.”

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          • #6
            Originally posted by TopHatter
            Snopes.com had this to say....
            Stop. For crying out loud.

            Gentlemen, TH checks snopes on everything. I am sure that he even looks there after our own conversations to make sure I am not trying to put one over on him. He could ask me how I am, I could say I am fine, and the lad would check snopes to make sure I realy am.

            "To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are."-Sholem Asch

            "I always turn to the sports page first, which records people's accomplishments. The front page has nothing but man's failures."-Earl Warren

            "I didn't intend for this to take on a political tone. I'm just here for the drugs."-Nancy Reagan, when asked a political question at a "Just Say No" rally

            "He no play-a da game, he no make-a da rules."-Earl Butz, on the Pope's attitude toward birth control

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            • #7
              Originally posted by TopHatsLiberal
              Stop. For crying out loud.
              Something wrong?

              Originally posted by TopHatsLiberal
              Gentlemen, TH checks snopes on everything.
              Of course I do!
              Originally posted by TopHatsLiberal
              I am sure that he even looks there after our own conversations to make sure I am not trying to put one over on him.
              Given your track record, I probably should. ;)
              Originally posted by TopHatsLiberal
              He could ask me how I am, I could say I am fine, and the lad would check snopes to make sure I realy am.
              Once again, given your track record, it's probably a good idea.
              “He was the most prodigious personification of all human inferiorities. He was an utterly incapable, unadapted, irresponsible, psychopathic personality, full of empty, infantile fantasies, but cursed with the keen intuition of a rat or a guttersnipe. He represented the shadow, the inferior part of everybody’s personality, in an overwhelming degree, and this was another reason why they fell for him.”

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              • #8
                As to answer the question... Ill tell you tuesday night when I climb in #3 turrent as its sees the most sunlight during the afternoon hours which are ranging to 100 degrees. ;)
                Fortitude.....The strength to persist...The courage to endure.

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                • #9
                  no idea.

                  For the Yanks: dream of Delta

                  For the Aussies and Kiwies: dream of Guruda (or however the **** I'm meant to spell it) Thank God for their trackers.

                  For Rus: At least one can smoke. Dream of Cubana. With fewer stasi gits.

                  Never Ever fly "Easy" Jet. Any of you that I know.

                  It has never been more true to state that one gets what one pays for.

                  Ooopsie! my bad! I had to fly out at short notice, so I didn't.
                  Where's the bloody gin? An army marches on its liver, not its ruddy stomach.

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                  • #10
                    the exact answer is : there is no prove there is hell nor heaven.
                    just unargumented speculations.
                    So I just don't see what this kind of question do in a science forum ...
                    It's for a religious board or maybe more adapted to an humoristic one.

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                    • #11
                      very interesting, but heat and cold are exist in physical world, since soul isn't a matter but energy is it even able tell apart heat from cold?
                      "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote!" B. Franklin

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by omon View Post
                        very interesting, but heat and cold are exist in physical world, since soul isn't a matter but energy is it even able tell apart heat from cold?
                        yes Omon, heat and cold exist in physical word, but hell or heaven are not include in it.
                        You talk about soul : there is no evidence at all of soul existence.
                        Not in science, anyway.
                        You said soul exist and is energy, I tell you => prove me that ... and you won't be able to give me even a single detail to prove that.
                        You believe, that's your right, but religion has nothing to do with science.
                        Science is fact, deduction, theory, and you kill the theory as soon as one observation show it's wrong, then you start a new theory.
                        That's why religion couldn't be included in science.
                        And taht's why I said a subject about hell has nothing to do in a science board.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Nanovae View Post
                          yes Omon, heat and cold exist in physical word, but hell or heaven are not include in it.
                          You talk about soul : there is no evidence at all of soul existence.
                          Not in science, anyway.
                          You said soul exist and is energy, I tell you => prove me that ... and you won't be able to give me even a single detail to prove that.
                          You believe, that's your right, but religion has nothing to do with science.
                          Science is fact, deduction, theory, and you kill the theory as soon as one observation show it's wrong, then you start a new theory.
                          That's why religion couldn't be included in science.
                          And taht's why I said a subject about hell has nothing to do in a science board.
                          is isn't proven doesnt mean proven othervise,none of us know,like you said every1 has right to belive. we modern people are too forward we are afraid to admitt that some things are beyond our control and understanding. there are tons of things that can't be explained by science but they still there.
                          nazi government is the only government that took parnormal things serious invested more money in it(abenerbe accult reserch) than USA in manhatten project. even if it could not be explaned. they tried to combine their advanced technology with paranormal, and i'll tell you it worked, we still follow it.they had awesome sciantists awfull ideology,they tried to rule the world, would their nazi ideology be different they just might be sucssesfull.
                          "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote!" B. Franklin

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                          • #14
                            I'm sorry Omon, I couldn't discuss on the paranormal subject.
                            For me it's just a waste of time.
                            Everyone could believe, as you said.
                            I personnally believe in simple things : facts and proves.
                            Science, at this time, have enought substance to feed me for the rest of my life, so, I don't need to look for exotic explanations.

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