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  • So Why Do Men Have Nipples?

    In addition to my book of questions, I had bought the book Why Do Men Have Nipples: Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini a few months back which has some interesting medical questions in it. Most of the questons are gross and I am not going to list them. Her are a few toned down ones:

    Does it really take 7 years to digest chewing gum?
    The short answer: Chewing gum is not digestible, but it does not sit in your stomach for 7 years, no.

    Does eating carrots improve your vision?
    A vitamin A deficiency can cause blindness, but if you are not deficient in vitamin A, your vision will not improve by eating carrots.

    Why do men have nipples?
    We all start out following a female template in the emrbyo until about 6 weeks. The embryo then begins to develop its male characteristics. Men are left with nipples and breast tissue.

    Big hands, big ___?
    There is no evidence that hand size is at all related to the size of a man's "issued gear". Also, things that start out smaller, usually tend to expand larger than things that start out larger.

    Is it true that men can break their "issued gear"?
    Yes it is. (as the men all cringe and the women smile) Sudden trauma or bending in an "uplifted state" can break the fibrous coat which causes the previously mentioned uplifted state. This does not require a cast, however it does require surgery. So be careful gentlemen and always wear a helmet!

    Is it smart to put butter on a burn?
    No. The butter will trap the heat an prolong the pain.

    Can you get high from licking a toad?
    There is a species of toad (I am not mentioning it because I don't want to be responsible for people licking amphibians) that has a psychedelic substance on its skin. Similiar to LSD and serotonin and can cause hallucinations.

    Can you really explode from eating too much?
    Stomach rupture, or gastrorrhexis, is a rare condition, although it has been reported to occur from eating too much.

    Do you hair and nails continue to grow after you die?
    They do not. Your body starts to dry out giving the illusion that hair and nails are growing as you shrivel up.
    "To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are."-Sholem Asch

    "I always turn to the sports page first, which records people's accomplishments. The front page has nothing but man's failures."-Earl Warren

    "I didn't intend for this to take on a political tone. I'm just here for the drugs."-Nancy Reagan, when asked a political question at a "Just Say No" rally

    "He no play-a da game, he no make-a da rules."-Earl Butz, on the Pope's attitude toward birth control

  • #2
    Putting butter on a burn? Wow, I wonder what kind of person thought of that.

    It's sort of like pouring hot oil into a fire.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by giggs88
      Putting butter on a burn? Wow, I wonder what kind of person thought of that.

      It's sort of like pouring hot oil into a fire.
      One of the wives tales that lasted for generations. I'm talking out of my you-know-what, but there may be some benefit in doing so either as an antibiotic or a healing balm, but later on people jumped the gun and applied it right after being burned instead of waiting the next day or so. I have seen my grandmother put butter on a burn, but I have no interest in doing so.
      Removing a single turd from the cesspool doesn't make any difference.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by TopHatsLiberal
        In addition to my book of questions, I had bought the book Why Do Men Have Nipples: Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini a few months back which has some interesting medical questions in it. Most of the questons are gross and I am not going to list them. Her are a few toned down ones:

        Does it really take 7 years to digest chewing gum?
        The short answer: Chewing gum is not digestible, but it does not sit in your stomach for 7 years, no.

        Does eating carrots improve your vision?
        A vitamin A deficiency can cause blindness, but if you are not deficient in vitamin A, your vision will not improve by eating carrots.

        Why do men have nipples?
        We all start out following a female template in the emrbyo until about 6 weeks. The embryo then begins to develop its male characteristics. Men are left with nipples and breast tissue.

        Can you get high from licking a toad?
        There is a species of toad (I am not mentioning it because I don't want to be responsible for people licking amphibians) that has a psychedelic substance on its skin. Similiar to LSD and serotonin and can cause hallucinations.
        .

        I know of those toads. I hope my life never sinks to the level where I feel the need to lick such a thing. There was another amphibian that musicians used to handle befor a performance. The toxin on the skin kept the musicians hands from sweating.

        Why do men have nipples? See! we know what is it is like to be a woman.
        Removing a single turd from the cesspool doesn't make any difference.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by bonehead
          One of the wives tales that lasted for generations. I'm talking out of my you-know-what, but there may be some benefit in doing so either as an antibiotic or a healing balm, but later on people jumped the gun and applied it right after being burned instead of waiting the next day or so. I have seen my grandmother put butter on a burn, but I have no interest in doing so.
          I called my mother after I read giggs response and asked her if she had not told me once that butter was suppose to be put on a burn and she proudly responded "Why Yes. Of course"...so I got to correct her. Granted she is not taking anything serious from a book with the word "nipple" in the title even if it was written by doctors. "Doctors of what?" she asked. :)
          "To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are."-Sholem Asch

          "I always turn to the sports page first, which records people's accomplishments. The front page has nothing but man's failures."-Earl Warren

          "I didn't intend for this to take on a political tone. I'm just here for the drugs."-Nancy Reagan, when asked a political question at a "Just Say No" rally

          "He no play-a da game, he no make-a da rules."-Earl Butz, on the Pope's attitude toward birth control

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by bonehead
            See! we know what is it is like to be a woman.
            LOL. When you all get ovaries, come see me. Until then...like h3LL you do!!

            ROFL
            "To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are."-Sholem Asch

            "I always turn to the sports page first, which records people's accomplishments. The front page has nothing but man's failures."-Earl Warren

            "I didn't intend for this to take on a political tone. I'm just here for the drugs."-Nancy Reagan, when asked a political question at a "Just Say No" rally

            "He no play-a da game, he no make-a da rules."-Earl Butz, on the Pope's attitude toward birth control

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by TopHatsLiberal
              LOL. When you all get ovaries, come see me. Until then...like h3LL you do!!

              ROFL
              Being a man isn't all a barrel of laughs and no glass ceiling you know.
              Just imagine goiing through life with your most vulnerable parts on the outside
              “He was the most prodigious personification of all human inferiorities. He was an utterly incapable, unadapted, irresponsible, psychopathic personality, full of empty, infantile fantasies, but cursed with the keen intuition of a rat or a guttersnipe. He represented the shadow, the inferior part of everybody’s personality, in an overwhelming degree, and this was another reason why they fell for him.”

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by TopHatter
                Being a man isn't all a barrel of laughs and no glass ceiling you know.
                Just imagine goiing through life with your most vulnerable parts on the outside
                Oh you are so right, my dear TH - Women have no sensitive external parts. So the next time one finds you staring at the "void of external parts" I will just flick my fingers and "ping" you in the forehead.
                :)
                "To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are."-Sholem Asch

                "I always turn to the sports page first, which records people's accomplishments. The front page has nothing but man's failures."-Earl Warren

                "I didn't intend for this to take on a political tone. I'm just here for the drugs."-Nancy Reagan, when asked a political question at a "Just Say No" rally

                "He no play-a da game, he no make-a da rules."-Earl Butz, on the Pope's attitude toward birth control

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by TopHatsLiberal
                  Oh you are so right, my dear TH - Women have no sensitive external parts. So the next time one finds you staring at the "void of external parts" I will just flick my fingers and "ping" you in the forehead.
                  :)
                  I'm still deciphering that one.....
                  “He was the most prodigious personification of all human inferiorities. He was an utterly incapable, unadapted, irresponsible, psychopathic personality, full of empty, infantile fantasies, but cursed with the keen intuition of a rat or a guttersnipe. He represented the shadow, the inferior part of everybody’s personality, in an overwhelming degree, and this was another reason why they fell for him.”

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Booobs! She's going to hit you if you look at any more booobs.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Why Do Men Have Nipples:
                      So that they know where not to hang their medals!


                      "Some have learnt many Tricks of sly Evasion, Instead of Truth they use Equivocation, And eke it out with mental Reservation, Which is to good Men an Abomination."

                      I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.

                      HAKUNA MATATA

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by TopHatsLiberal
                        Oh you are so right, my dear TH - Women have no sensitive external parts. So the next time one finds you staring at the "void of external parts" I will just flick my fingers and "ping" you in the forehead.
                        :)
                        I'm laughing my ass off here. Good one, THL.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          While putting any type of "fat" immediately on a burn is an age old remedy, the latest theory is to immediately use ice cubes directly on the burn.

                          I experienced that.

                          The pressure cooker burst and all the scalding liquid fell all over my face. Wiping it clear, I continually applied ice cubes and I must say it felt good as also the burn marks did not appear later except for the areas I did not apply adequate ice!


                          "Some have learnt many Tricks of sly Evasion, Instead of Truth they use Equivocation, And eke it out with mental Reservation, Which is to good Men an Abomination."

                          I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.

                          HAKUNA MATATA

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Officer of Engineers
                            Booobs! She's going to hit you if you look at any more booobs.
                            Thank you, Sir, for clearing that up. I believe TH menitoned on another thread he was not the sharpest knife in the drawer and here he goes sending us proof again.

                            Oh, crap - I forgot he moved up a notch and can ban me himself now..

                            Sorry, TH for making fun of you publicly. You have my deepest and most sincere apologies.

                            As for the rest of you, I'll see you in a few days when TH reactivates my log in...
                            "To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are."-Sholem Asch

                            "I always turn to the sports page first, which records people's accomplishments. The front page has nothing but man's failures."-Earl Warren

                            "I didn't intend for this to take on a political tone. I'm just here for the drugs."-Nancy Reagan, when asked a political question at a "Just Say No" rally

                            "He no play-a da game, he no make-a da rules."-Earl Butz, on the Pope's attitude toward birth control

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by TopHatsLiberal
                              Thank you, Sir, for clearing that up. I believe TH menitoned on another thread he was not the sharpest knife in the drawer and here he goes sending us proof again.

                              Oh, crap - I forgot he moved up a notch and can ban me himself now..

                              Sorry, TH for making fun of you publicly. You have my deepest and most sincere apologies.

                              As for the rest of you, I'll see you in a few days when TH reactivates my log in...
                              Again with the "He's going to ban me"

                              Have I not always said I don't mind a joke from my friends at my expense?
                              And I usually have no compunctions about dishing it right back out either

                              If somebody can't laugh at themselves, they need that surgery where the stick is removed from their rear end.
                              “He was the most prodigious personification of all human inferiorities. He was an utterly incapable, unadapted, irresponsible, psychopathic personality, full of empty, infantile fantasies, but cursed with the keen intuition of a rat or a guttersnipe. He represented the shadow, the inferior part of everybody’s personality, in an overwhelming degree, and this was another reason why they fell for him.”

                              Comment

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