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THL
07 Nov 05,, 15:27
In light of the guy that got glued by his girlfriend....

I would like to know what the strangest and/or most bizarre injury you have had was. Maybe just the most painful injury.

For any medical personnel - how about some ER stories, huh? Those are always good! :tongue:




My most painful was being bitten by a Kingsnake. I was new to the world of herpetology at the time. He was a breeder I had and was not very tame but he had always been okay with me. I was "proving" this to my friend, who had been struck at repeatedly by this snake, by pointing my finger at him and waving it around in a circle. I guess the snake got annoyed cause after about 10 seconds he lunged at me and took in my index finger up to about the second joint from the tip - so most of my finger. Then he coiled around my wrist. Luckily he was only a king snake and therefore was only about 3 feet long and we were able to uncoil him.
Getting his jaws off my hand proved a little more difficult. We called a herp contact and was told to hold him and my bleeding hand under water and he should let go. This did not work. Their teeth do not go straight down like humans and dogs teeth. They kind of bend inward which helps them pull food into their mouths so his teeth were at a backwards angle. In the end, I had to unhook his top jaw and then let him re-hook it into my finger at a point closer to the end. Then do the same with his lower jaw. I repeated this until I had quite a few teeth marks going down my finger and the snake and I were both covered in blood. It's amazing how much one little finger can bleed.
I learned my lesson and my respect for snakes went up about 300%.

THL
07 Nov 05,, 15:45
In light of the guy that got glued by his girlfriend....

I would like to know what the strangest and/or most bizarre injury you have had was. Maybe just the most painful injury.

For any medical personnel - how about some ER stories, huh? Those are always good! :tongue:


I have a stupidest most preventable injury to add. In school I was convinced that I could play football with my male friends that played on the weekend and they would always get "soft" around me. So I got really ticked off one day and told them to just play like I was one of the guys.
A few bruises later I was tackled in the endzone and my knee was bent in the wrong direction. A few months of physical therapy and it still hurts every so often. But at least we scored, right? :tongue:

Ray
07 Nov 05,, 17:56
THL,

Is your name Ma Baker, the tough cookie or Annie Oakley?

THL
07 Nov 05,, 18:05
THL,

Is your name Ma Baker, the tough cookie or Annie Oakley?
I didn't know who Ma Baker was so I googled her - cute song.


Did Annie Oakley have a snake? :)
Annie Oakley - let's get one thing clear...I would NEVER wear that hat with that skirt! ;) The girl seriously needs some color in her wardrobe - maybe some red pumps or a scarf.

Ray
07 Nov 05,, 18:24
You are looking at a sepia print. So you can't see the colour.

She normally wore brown skirts and white blouse.

Her name was Phoebe Moses and she was born in Darke County, Ohio in 1860 and she could shoot the head off a running quail when she was twelve years old.

Once, at the invitation of Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany, she knocked the ashes off a cigaret he was holding in his mouth.

When she out-shot the great exhibition marksman, Frank Butler, he fell in love with her and they were ideally happy the rest of their long lives.

She could handle a rifle or a six-gun with an artistry unsurpassed by that of any human being before her time or, probably, since. And when she appeared with Sitting Bull and other notables in Colonel Cody's Wild West Show, she thrilled your father and mother -- not as Phoebe Anne Oakley Moses but as "Little Sure Shot," the immortal Annie Oakley.

Annie Oakley, the poor back-country orphan girl who made her way to world-wide fame, was the very spirit of personal independence. That spirit is just as much alive in our generation as it was in hers. It is among the great assets of our people -- and our nation. And it is one very great reason why our country's Savings Bonds are perhaps the finest investment in the world today.

Make that investment work for you! Increase your personal independence and your family's security, by buying Bonds regularly -- starting now!

For your own security -- and your country's, too -- invest in U.S. Savings Bonds!

(from a 1955 U.S. Government advertisement)

Ray
07 Nov 05,, 18:27
Make that investment work for you! Increase your personal independence and your family's security, by buying Bonds regularly -- starting now!

For your own security -- and your country's, too -- invest in U.S. Savings Bonds!

Got the message? :tongue:

Snakes are dangerous.

For your security and your country's too - invest in US Savings Bonds! :biggrin:

TopHatter
07 Nov 05,, 18:52
Make that investment work for you! Increase your personal independence and your family's security, by buying Bonds regularly -- starting now!

For your own security -- and your country's, too -- invest in U.S. Savings Bonds!

Got the message? :tongue:

Snakes are dangerous.

For your security and your country's too - invest in US Savings Bonds! :biggrin:
I was hoping to finance my retirement through the trafficking of illegal drugs, but if you say this Savings Bond thing is the wave of the future.... :rolleyes:

Bluesman
07 Nov 05,, 19:04
I bungie-jumped a river canyon in Austria. Bungie cord worked as advertised, and it was a huge thrill.

But I had this rictus grin on my clenched-up face as I went over, and as I was stopped and momentum reversed to pop me back up...I pulled a muscle in my FACE! :eek:

I smiled lopsided for three days, and I couldn't chew on the damaged side without chomping into my cheek. The morning after it happened, I woke up and looked into the mirror at a strange guy that looked a little like I would, if I'd managed to Novacaine half my head, with the weirdest swelling down that poor bastard's jawline.

No long-term effects, but you could see my friends trying to work out just exactly what was different about me for the next week, because it was subtle and gradually went away from that peak AGH! moment the day after it happened.

THL
07 Nov 05,, 19:05
When she out-shot the great exhibition marksman, Frank Butler, he fell in love with her and they were ideally happy the rest of their long lives.
So the way to a man's heart really is through his gun, then? :)

giggs88
07 Nov 05,, 19:09
I bungie-jumped a river canyon in Austria. Bungie cord worked as advertised, and it was a huge thrill.That reminds me of this video I saw of a bungie jumper (a stupid one) that jumped off a bridge with too long a rope. He ended up on the rocks below. He was alive, but almost every bone in his body was broken.

Bluesman
07 Nov 05,, 19:19
Oh, and I have a scar on my right index finger that I call my 'vertigo scar'.

When I was trying to get my instrument rating for my pilot's liscence, I was doing the day's lesson on spatial disorientation in a Link trainer (http://www.linktrainers.com/). My instructor and I could talk through the intercom, so he had me turn right to 180, then left to 360, etc., in order to get my inner ear juices swimmin' around. So, with no outside horizon reference, and 'flying' the simulator on instruments alone, he asked me to tip my head back, and to either left or right.

Now, the trainer is bolted to the floor, so it is impossible to turn it over. Obviously, then, somebody had turned the entire building over. Because even though logic told me that I was NOT going to fall through the roof, the feeling that I was falling UP was SO overpowering, that I instinctively tried to put my hand over my head to keep from hitting the ceiling inside the trainer.

There was a little piece of sharp metal up there, and I hit it just right and with so much force that I almost severed my finger. To this day, that scar is my constant reminder that instinct and the years spent obeying your sense of balance is SO strong that it takes iron discipline and rigorous training to overcome it. That scar is a physical manifestation of the truth that one may disbelieve logic and fall back on what you just KNOW is the truth, and that may kill you when you need not have died.

A great little lesson for a young pilot, or ANY young person...that wishes to be an old person some day. :cool:

TopHatter
07 Nov 05,, 20:42
So the way to a man's heart really is through his gun, then? :)
*Cough cough* familyforumletskeepthedoubleentendrestoaminimum. :redface:

Ray
07 Nov 05,, 20:48
TH,

:biggrin:

Too much!

THL
07 Nov 05,, 20:58
*Cough cough* familyforumletskeepthedoubleentendrestoaminimum. :redface:
WHAT? This is all I meant...what are YOU referring to?

sicko

Ray
07 Nov 05,, 21:00
THL,

Why act the nun? ;)

Officer of Engineers
07 Nov 05,, 21:09
Ok, Guys, how many times were you hit in the nuts and couldn't get back up? 16 years old playing ice hockey and someone gave me a stat that I went down 20 times in the season ... brings a whole different meaning to a stick in between your legs.

THL
07 Nov 05,, 21:11
THL,

Why act the nun? ;)
No act, Ray. Regardless of what our dear TH will tell, I am very much the innocent, a mere victim of circumstance. :)

Bluesman
07 Nov 05,, 21:34
Ok, Guys, how many times were you hit in the nuts and couldn't get back up? 16 years old playing ice hockey and someone gave me a stat that I went down 20 times in the season ... brings a whole different meaning to a stick in between your legs.

:eek:

I'll stick to darts. I've NEVER had...YOU know...

dalem
07 Nov 05,, 21:43
Ok, Guys, how many times were you hit in the nuts and couldn't get back up? 16 years old playing ice hockey and someone gave me a stat that I went down 20 times in the season ... brings a whole different meaning to a stick in between your legs.

Geez OoE, didn't someone tell you that your nuts belong inside your hockey pants, not dangling out in the icy breeze for your opponents to harm?

:)

-dale

dalem
07 Nov 05,, 21:45
I've been lucky - worst injuries were simple soft tissue stuff - a strained something or other in my hand due to fencing in college, and a swollen bursus sack in my left knee a couple of years ago due to an overeager workout.

Getting old sucks.

-dale

THL
07 Nov 05,, 21:49
This is not my injury and this has ended in three deaths so I am not at all trying to make kight of it, but I am going to add it here anyway. These 19 and 20 year olds are referred to as "youths" in this article...they are not youths - they are adults and should have known better than to have been doing this....Gosh people...this is common sense stuff.


Three die playing catch with grenade Mon Nov 7,11:27 AM ET

A hand grenade being used instead of a ball in a game of catch exploded early on Saturday killing three youths in this Bosnian town, police and news agencies said.

Two youths aged 19 and 20, one of them from neighboring Croatia, were killed instantly while a 20-year-old woman died on her way to hospital, police said. Her sister was slightly injured but two other youths suffered serious injuries.

The blast occurred at 2:00 a.m. in the western town of Novi Grad at a place in the town center frequented by youngsters. Police said an inquiry was under way and declined further comment. It was not clear why the grenade exploded.

ONASA news agency quoted witnesses as saying the youths tossed the hand grenade to each other before it exploded in the hands of one of them.

Bosnia is awash with illegal weapons left over from the 1992-95 war and tragic incidents are frequent despite several successful campaigns by international peacekeepers and police to get people to hand over illegal weapons.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20051107/od_nm/bosnia_grenade_dc;_ylt=AsFbPKeLC1IMDWioUT9PLSis0NU E;_ylu=X3oDMTA3NW1oMDRpBHNlYwM3NTc-

Parihaka
07 Nov 05,, 22:58
I guess I am living proof that it is possible to be both old and stupid.

Thus far in my life I have broken my skull, nose (twice), shoulder blade, forearm (thrice), roughly 10 ribs (it's hard to keep track), shattered both heels (severe bilateral calcaneus injury) and numerous small bones in my feet.

And OoE, I once got hit in the unmentionables by the handlebar post of my bicycle whilst flying forward from it, so you have my sympathies (20 times? Hadn't you developed some sort of defense mechanism?)
As for soft tissue, too numerous to mention except for the above cycle accident, being stabbed once with a metal fountain pen and 'tenderising' both achillies as part of the heel injuries. Otherwise not much at all.

kmchugh
07 Nov 05,, 23:03
As a health care worker who has worked in the ER of a level one trauma center:

My favorites were always those folks who came in with various objects hopelessly lodged in their, um, nether orifice. Yeah, that's it. I've seen a few, including coke bottles, vegies, etc. You get used to it, but what's funny is the excuse is always the same: "See, I was in the shower, and I slipped, fell on my butt. Well, guess where I happened to land?" Uh huh. So, why were you showering with your cucumber, again?

We also had a guy come on once with a GSW to the buttock. Claimed "some guy" (and if we ever catch "some guy," we are going to reduce the crime in this country by 60%), came up and shot him through the car door. Of course, the cops at the scene found no bullet hole in the car door, and there was a powder burn in a fan pattern extending downward from the entry wound. Einstein shot himself in the butt trying to put his gun in his waistband. I could just hear the ghost of Darwin: "D***it, I missed!"

Kevin McHugh

Officer of Engineers
07 Nov 05,, 23:29
(20 times? Hadn't you developed some sort of defense mechanism?)

It was the way I skated, I tended to jump into a glide and often I jumped over other people's sticks ...

I was wearing a cup but even then, they do shift. The worst one was the one that I took a slap shot into the groin. I was out for the game.

Horrido
08 Nov 05,, 00:13
Martial arts, we were doing knife techniques, sweeping the achilles tendon, then when the opponent dropped to the floor, move up between the legs for a femoral artery or stomach slice. My partner moved up a little too far too fast, and now my left testicle is officially 175-pound test after his knee squarely pinned it to the floor. I finished the remaining hour for the class, went back to my dormroom, went to take a piss, and once finished, promptly called the campus hospital emergency line. I'd never been so intimate with a partially frozen can of soda before...or since.

Lunatock
08 Nov 05,, 01:15
Also martial arts.

During a belt test I was doing warmup exercises, somewhere in the early to middle of 100 jumping jacks I managed to hit my hand on the light attached to a low ceiling, just a tiny papercut...but you would of been fooled by that, after the fact my heart rate was up and that cut was flowing pretty good. Especially when that hand would slap the side of my leg and blood would splatter on the pants being worn that class.

THL
08 Nov 05,, 01:41
I guess I am living proof that it is possible to be both old and stupid.

...I have broken my...nose (twice)
Then I must be living proof that it is possible to be middle aged (I have never called myself that before, that was hard) and stupid...I have also broken my nose twice. :tongue:

Parihaka
08 Nov 05,, 01:51
Then I must be living proof that it is possible to be middle aged (I have never called myself that before, that was hard)
Don't worry, it doesn't get any easier
and stupid...I have also broken my nose twice. :tongue:
That, I imagine, would be a story & a half ;)

THL
08 Nov 05,, 01:59
Don't worry, it doesn't get any easier
Thanks ... Nice to know I can come to the WAB for encouragement. :rolleyes:


That, I imagine, would be a story & a half ;)
Normally I do have a story but this time, not so much. Once an airborne coffee mug hit my nose and the other time it was an airborne fist.

TopHatter
08 Nov 05,, 02:04
I've sliced up my hands on several occasions, back when I worked in factories and construction trades.
The worst was getting my thumb caught into a rotating razor wheel and the cardboard core I was cutting. My right thumbprint is now REALLY unique :)

The worst was when I broke my nose in Jr High...I don't even like to think about how it was done...gives me a full body shudder every time. :frown:

THL
08 Nov 05,, 02:26
The worst was when I broke my nose in Jr High...I don't even like to think about how it was done...gives me a full body shudder every time. :frown:
Deal with the shuddering...Share the story.
:)

Parihaka
08 Nov 05,, 02:44
yeah, eat a cheeto and share

sniperdude411
08 Nov 05,, 04:16
Wow... I'm being way too safe here; I need to jump out of trees more often.
The worst thing happened to me was when I was doing jumps over gravel hills (about 4 feet tall) in a parking lot when I went over my handlebars and my mouth landed on a good-sized rock... My 4 front teeth were almost knocked-out (still were hanging on), and my tongue went numb after I licked the topical number stuff (which didn't work, and then I learned the needles to the gumline weren't fun either).

Never broken a bone (except I chipped my tooth while skiing once).

bonehead
08 Nov 05,, 05:12
Hockey player: "Hey! Whats that harry thing sliding around on the ice?
Officer of Engineers: " My left testicle. "

Twenty times!? A "lesser" man would have thrown in the towel after 18 or 19 times.

I have heard about the one eyed hockey players, but I never heard of a hockey stick being called a meat tenderizer before.

So far I have had a lot of near misses, yet no real serious damage to report. I feel kind of like sheriff Brodie while on the boat when Hooper and the old salt were comparing scars on the movie jaws.

THL
08 Nov 05,, 15:33
I am not quite sure if I am suppose to laugh @ boneheads Hockey joke or be totally grossed out at the visual.






Deal with the shuddering...Share the story.
:)

yeah, eat a cheeto and share

Heeeellllloooooo TopHatter! :)

Officer of Engineers
08 Nov 05,, 15:50
I am not quite sure if I am suppose to laugh @ boneheads Hockey joke or be totally grossed out at the visual.

You're not a man.

Seriously though, neither was I. 16 years old full of piss and vinegar and not much brains.

Ray
08 Nov 05,, 16:09
The time I was burnt knee upwards to the waist since my pants caught fire because the enemy threw a No 77 Grenade at me during a raid.

Did a western roll to put the fire off and HMGs were firing all around.

Thank heavens, the idiots were poor shots!

TopHatter
08 Nov 05,, 16:09
Heeeellllloooooo TopHatter! :)
OK...in the "What the hell were you thinking category" :

One night I was having trouble sleeping and being somewhat fidgety and bored, I thought it would be a great idea to stand at the foot of my bed, actually standing ON the bed, close my eyes and fall face forward, so that my face would impact my nice fluffy pillow.

That was the plan.

Did I forget to mention the hardwood desk that was directly next to my bed?

Officer of Engineers
08 Nov 05,, 16:14
The time I was burnt knee upwards to the waist since my pants caught fire because the enemy threw a No 77 Grenade at me during a raid.

Did a western roll to put the fire off and HMGs were firing all around.

Thank heavens, the idiots were poor shots!


Sir,

That was the time you crossed the minefield?

Gentlemen, Present Arms!

TopHatter
08 Nov 05,, 16:35
Sir,

That was the time you crossed the minefield?

Gentlemen, Present Arms!
Arms Presented Sir! :)

667medic
08 Nov 05,, 16:39
A guy fired a LAW in prone position and ended up burning his knee and lower leg...

Blademaster
08 Nov 05,, 16:48
The worst injury I got was a left hip dislocation incurred after a snowboarding jumping accident. It was nighttime and snowing and visual was not great. Even though they had lights on the run, it wasn't that good and thus I was not able to make out what kind of jump it was before it was too late.

Lesson number 1, do a ****ing recon before you take the run.

Anyway, as I went down the slope, I gathered more speed because I wanted to get the biggest and highest jump I could get. So on away I went. When I got to the jump, I realised that this was the wrong jump and too much speed was bad but it was too late. I hit the inward jump that makes you go really high but not forward. Because of my speed, I went up like 20 feet to 25 feet in the air. I landed on my right side but oddly that wasn't what dislocated my left hip. It was the tumble that dislocated my left hip. The wind knocked out of me, I tried to get up unaware that I dislocated my hip. Then all hell broke loose for me. I was in extreme agony. It was nearly two hours before they managed to put my hip back into place. No surgery required. No cast. There was no fracture, broken bones, or even a chipped bone. I was ****ing lucky to make it out in one piece with only pulled muscles. Not even a burst blood vessel. The nurses told me that even though I was out and on pain medication, when they put my hip back together, I woke up with a jolt and gave out a cry and then immediately went back to sleep. I hope that description gives you a vivid image.

Samudra
08 Nov 05,, 17:03
For me the worst is yet to come... :biggrin:

Had no major injury so far.....except for my foolish act of swallowing a one rupee coin that nearly got me killed.But that doesnt count as a 'injury' :)

THL
08 Nov 05,, 17:10
The wind knocked out of me
That sucks! I have only had that happen once and that was enough. My sister, aunt, cousin and I were horseback riding - something I have done all my life. My sister, who was NOT good at this, told the people @ the stable that she was experienced and so they gave her a horse that required someone who would know how to handle him...bad idea.

Her horse kept nipping the others and she was not able to keep him controlled and away from the rest of the other horses. I had kept either falling back or going ahead to keep away from him but the last time he bit my horse on the butt, I guess the horse I was riding had enough. The one I was on turned and reared, catching me off guard and throwing me off and knocking the wind out of me. My back was bruised as it was fall/early winter here and the ground was bare and hard, but that was all...no real injuries.


I guess I have made it through life with minimal injuries. A few fractured fingers, but nothing too serious - the only thing I ever broke was my nose. A little scar from a BB on my left calf. I do have an ugly scar just above my wrist on the inside of my arm where I cut myself on a fence pole and refused to let them stitch it.

I have a scar that looks like a wishbone on the palm of my left hand. In high school I was @ a park drinking with some friends and fell on some glass and gravel. Since I had been drinking I did not want to go home and get it cleaned up so I just left it. Somehow it managed to not get infected.

When I had my daughter I had a C-Section and I tore open those stitches twice. Apparently, you really are suppose to rest. I felt fine so I shopped.

Oh, I did cut the bottom of my foot open in Jr high. Remember the old ten speeds with the curled handlebars? Well I was riding downtown and someone walked out in front of me and when I tried to stop, I grabbed the brake for the front tire instead of the back and the back of the bike flipped up over the front handlebars, as did I. My foot really hurt, so my stepdad had taken my shoe off to see if it had bruised or anything and when he did, there was all kinds of blood. I guess the pedal cut into my foot. Not sure how it happened really.

Julie
08 Nov 05,, 18:58
Ok, Guys, how many times were you hit in the nuts and couldn't get back up? 16 years old playing ice hockey and someone gave me a stat that I went down 20 times in the season ... brings a whole different meaning to a stick in between your legs.Aren't their "jockey strap" devices for preventive measures?

Officer of Engineers
08 Nov 05,, 19:03
Doesn't always work.

Parihaka
08 Nov 05,, 21:15
OK...in the "What the hell were you thinking category" :

One night I was having trouble sleeping and being somewhat fidgety and bored, I thought it would be a great idea to stand at the foot of my bed, actually standing ON the bed, close my eyes and fall face forward, so that my face would impact my nice fluffy pillow.

That was the plan.

Did I forget to mention the hardwood desk that was directly next to my bed?
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_11_6.gif

Wow, that's almost as dumb as me :)

Parihaka
08 Nov 05,, 21:17
Sir,

That was the time you crossed the minefield?

Gentlemen, Present Arms!
http://www.stilrugby.wb.gs/files/HAKA.jpg
Edit: took me a while to find a real New Zealand salute :cool:

Ray
08 Nov 05,, 22:16
Sir,

That was the time you crossed the minefield?

Gentlemen, Present Arms!


That's right.

We carried out a raid 9 miles inside POK on a supply point.

I got burnt, one guy was shot through the arm.

Limped back. Caught up in a mortar DF but it was a dry river bed with huge boulders and not one was injured. Crossed the minefield, we knew it was there and we only realised when we reached the home marker fence!

Luck and God was sure on our side.

Ray
08 Nov 05,, 22:22
There is another interesting case which happened when I was commanding my battalion in the HIgh altitude and it had snowed.

From one of the post, the dak (mail) team was coming down to the Battalion HQ. It had snowed very heavily and the tracks were covered, but we had tall markers with ropes as a guide for these snowfall conditions.

One Sikh chap lost his footing and tumbled down 1000 feet. We all thought he was dead. And my heart was in my mouth.

Then the most extraordinary thing happened!

We saw the Sikh chap get up, dust himself and merrily started climbing down from an unknown path!

Till he came to the HQ, we were all mesmerised and kept watching him come down and praying real hard!

Ray
08 Nov 05,, 22:25
http://www.arrse.co.uk/cpgn2/Forums/viewtopic/t=25572.htmlwww.arrse.co.uk/cpgn2/Forums/viewtopic/t=25572.html

Those who want to know of the funny experiences of mine in the Army can visit the the link above.

It is from the book I want to publish of short stories of my funny experiences in the Army. The Thread is title "Rum, Bum and Mouthorgan and other Indian Army stories".

Parihaka
08 Nov 05,, 22:36
http://www.arrse.co.uk/cpgn2/Forums/viewtopic/t=25572.htmlwww.arrse.co.uk/cpgn2/Forums/viewtopic/t=25572.html

Those who want to know of the funny experiences of mine in the Army can visit the the link above.

It is from the book I want to publish of short stories of my funny experiences in the Army. The Thread is title "Rum, Bum and Mouthorgan and other Indian Army stories".
Haha, I knew you had more stories. I sent you an email a while ago asking for more but I suspect it was lost in your strict 'spam' filter. Thanks Ray :biggrin:

Ray
08 Nov 05,, 22:52
Parihaka,

I have sent you another by e mail.

You haven't recieved that?

Hey, how about editing and making them more crisper without losing the facts.

They are real life stories and so if someone challenges me, the facts has to thus remain.

Parihaka
08 Nov 05,, 22:56
Parihaka,

I have sent you another by e mail.

You haven't recieved that?

Hey, how about editing and making them more crisper without losing the facts.

They are real life stories and so if someone challenges me, the facts has to thus remain.
With pleasure Ray. The first is a work in progress, I haven't received a second one, can you re-send it? :)

Ray
08 Nov 05,, 23:09
Parihaka,

Wilco.

THL
06 Apr 06,, 16:41
SCALDIN' BALLS: FOOTY STAR DROPS BOILING WATER IN LAP
Football star spills boiling water in lap
By Jeremy Armstrong

A PREMIERSHIP star had to miss a match - after scalding his privates with boiling water.

Sunderland and Scotland striker Kevin Kyle was feeding eight-month-old son Max when the accident happened.

He had the youngster perched on his knee, while holding a jug of hot water to warm up a bottle of milk. But Max slipped and booted the jug - splashing water in his dad's lap.

It is understood to have burnt Kyle's testicles and his inner thigh.

He went to hospital and was kept in overnight for observation.

Thankfully, little Max was not hurt. But his dad's burns were so severe the 24-year-old star - who earns around 300,000-a-year - was forced to miss Saturday's 2-2 draw with Everton.

He also skipped the team's "warm down" training session on Sunday and was given the day off yesterday.

Kyle, who is due to return to training today, was unavailable for comment at the home he shares with partner Victoria and their baby son in Sunderland last night.

But a club insider said: "He is walking a bit like John Wayne at the moment.

"He was struggling to move without pain, let alone run. But he is very embarrassed about this coming out."

The 6ft 3in striker had only recently returned to the side following another injury he feared might end his playing career. Last month he scored against Manchester City but his side are languishing at the bottom of the league, heading for the lowest points total in Premiership history.

A club spokesman said: "This is a private health issue and we are governed by the usual rules of confidentiality.

"As it is a non-footballing injury we cannot give updates in the usual way."

Sunderland footballers are no strangers to bizarre injuries.

Winger Julio Arca was taken to hospital last season after being stung by a jellyfish.

The Argentinian was swimming with teammates in the North Sea at the time.

It took almost three days for the swelling to go down.

Last year Kyle was fined 500 after brawling outside a kebab shop.

Ouch (http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/tm_objectid=16900129&method=full&siteid=94762&headline=scaldin--balls--footy-star-drops-boiling-water-in-lap-name_page.html)