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Jokes about events that took place in the past few years:

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  • Jokes about events that took place in the past few years:

    Some might sound offensive, but they have humour in them nevertheless.

    1. Osama bin Laden calls Bush:
    Osama: George, I have news for you, good and bad, where should I start?
    Bush: Ermm... The good news Osama.
    Osama: I surrender!
    Bush: And the bad news?
    Osama: I'm already catching a flight to hand myself over!

    2. Osama bin Laden calls Bush:
    Osama: George I had a dream tonight, New York City, everything is burning, dead Americans are everywhere! An airplane is sticking out of every skyscraper... isn't that great dream?
    Bush: Well, Osama, I also had a dream tonight. Kabul, Afghanistan, there are flowers everywhere, mercedesses driving around on every road, women going to school, skyscrapers being built all over and there are posters of Osama bin Laden on every street corner! Isn't that great?
    Osama: Yeah, and does it say "Osama bin Laden the saviour" on every one of those posters?
    Bush: No, something in Hebrew.

    3. Coalition Commander in Chief General Tommy Franks yesterday told CNN that the coalition forces have made "immense progress": 90% of them can now locate Iraq on the world map; 60% learnt not to piss against a sandstorm; 70% have found out that the British are their allies; 30% have found out about a culture which is older than the American one and 95% said that they should have been firemen.

    4. Saddam Hussein asked his personal witchdoctor: "When will I die?!"
    Witchdoctor: You will die when there is going to be a national holiday in the US.
    Saddam: When is that going to be?
    Witchdoctor: When you die!

    5. In a newspaper:
    Will sell a damaged Humvee, has two wheels and 2 doors. No radio, no engine, no radio, no alarm.
    Call from 8pm to 12pm EST, do not bother between attacks.
    Saddam Hussein

    6. Advertisement in a newspaper:
    Fly AirOsama - "only we can get you straight to your office!"

    PS: go to google, and enter "weapons of mass destruction" then click on "I'm feeling lucky" tab.

  • #2
    Yeah, you're right. A combination of humorous and down right offensive.:ermm
    “He was the most prodigious personification of all human inferiorities. He was an utterly incapable, unadapted, irresponsible, psychopathic personality, full of empty, infantile fantasies, but cursed with the keen intuition of a rat or a guttersnipe. He represented the shadow, the inferior part of everybody’s personality, in an overwhelming degree, and this was another reason why they fell for him.”

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    • #3
      A writing on the downside of an F117:
      "If you can read this, then we wasted 50 million dollars!"

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      • #4
        Only 1 getting shot down in the history of the Aircraft is an extrtemly good record. Also considering the fact that they didn't even shoot them down with radar guidance.

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        • #5
          Nothing is invincible and there is always that "Golden BB" waiting to get sucked into your jet intake.

          I find it interesting that no F-117's were lost over Baghdad in 1991. Remember those veritable fountains of flak bursts?
          I also recall it said that the F-117 is a very old machine, much like the Tomcat, the very flower of 1970's technology.

          I remember being shocked and disappointed about that Nighthawk getting shot down. I then remembered that there is nothing magical about a stealth aircraft, and remember that a flak burst does not give a good goddamn if you are invisible to radar or not. It DOES care if you are a solid object to impact against. I also cared a great deal that the enemy had only a shattered wreckage to parade around...NOT a stealth pilot. Whoops, you boys have no prize, just a piece of twisted wreckage to present to the Russians. You can call it a consolation prize, especially considering that the Americans STOLE THE STEALTH IDEAS ON THE -117 FROM THE RUSSIANS!!! Dang! :dbanana
          “He was the most prodigious personification of all human inferiorities. He was an utterly incapable, unadapted, irresponsible, psychopathic personality, full of empty, infantile fantasies, but cursed with the keen intuition of a rat or a guttersnipe. He represented the shadow, the inferior part of everybody’s personality, in an overwhelming degree, and this was another reason why they fell for him.”

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          • #6
            We didn't steal the secrets TH...the idiots freely GAVE them away. :)

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            • #7
              Oh yeah, forgot about that :D
              Say, why is it that the Russian aerospace industry started putting out kick-ass designs only AFTER the fall of Communism?
              “He was the most prodigious personification of all human inferiorities. He was an utterly incapable, unadapted, irresponsible, psychopathic personality, full of empty, infantile fantasies, but cursed with the keen intuition of a rat or a guttersnipe. He represented the shadow, the inferior part of everybody’s personality, in an overwhelming degree, and this was another reason why they fell for him.”

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              • #8
                If you guys think that only you have stealth aircraft, you are quite wrong... very wrong.
                You were the only ones to perhaps make them public to show off.

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                • #9
                  Nah, I'm sure there are other stealth aircraft out there (maybe). I just don't think there are any stealth aircraft out there which have been in any quantity.
                  “He was the most prodigious personification of all human inferiorities. He was an utterly incapable, unadapted, irresponsible, psychopathic personality, full of empty, infantile fantasies, but cursed with the keen intuition of a rat or a guttersnipe. He represented the shadow, the inferior part of everybody’s personality, in an overwhelming degree, and this was another reason why they fell for him.”

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by s_qwert63
                    If you guys think that only you have stealth aircraft, you are quite wrong... very wrong.
                    You were the only ones to perhaps make them public to show off.
                    The F-117 has been around since 1982, and was only revealed in 1991.
                    "Every man has his weakness. Mine was always just cigarettes."

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                    • #11
                      i dont think stealth is not the future of aircraft.
                      they are too expensive and there will be eventually a countermeasure, or a radar that can detect them (if there isn't one already!)

                      and... the stealth does have a radar signature, in iraq it flew in the corridors that were least covered with radar coverage to prevent detection.
                      Last edited by s_qwert63; 11 Nov 03,, 19:03.

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                      • #12
                        No kidding sherlock.

                        Stealth is more than the aircraft, it is the tactics employed in said aircraft.

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                        • #13
                          A Chinese General and a Colonel discussing their tactics before the invasion of Vietnam in 1978:
                          General: How many tanks do we have?
                          Colonel: We have 2 comrade general, but one is broken and the other one has no tracks!
                          General: What about the aviation?
                          Colonel: We have 5 planes but no fuel!
                          General: What about the infantry?
                          Colonel: No problem with the infantry, they will advance into enemy territory in small groups of 20-30 million!

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                          • #14
                            Re: Jokes about events that took place in the past few years:

                            Originally posted by s_qwert63
                            and 95% said that they should have been firemen.
                            I dont get it :unsure

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