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Joe the Pirate

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  • Joe the Pirate

    I've got a story on him, but It's on my other comp right now...
    Maybe you could add to his story for extra creativity.

    So who is Joe the Pirate?
    Joe is a character created completely by me, no external help, and his plot (mostly; some characters are stolen, like the Loveable fuzz of Ursula, sort of) was created by me from a long period of way too many study-halls.
    He started as an equation of a circle on my graphing calculator (which is actually two functions), and went to a smily face, an on and on and on... (you'll see how many study halls I had too much time in)
    So here you go, a picture (the official picture BTW) of Joe the Pirate:


    Story will come in five minutes.

  • #2
    Here's the story!

    JOE THE PIRATE, BY EVAN THOMPSON
    Joe grew up as a little boy on the planet Talli, with his parents being crazily-insane pirates raiding the seventy seas.
    When he was 7.62 years old, his parents were taken hostage by teenage mutant ninja turtles, and then executed, because the government was racist against pies. After finding out Joe's parents had a child, they set-out to kill Joe himself. The first attempt, the Teenage Mutant ninja turtles failed to catch him, because their source was highly unreliable as they found out, since it was a earth squash talking to them in ultra-low-frequency voice. More an more angered, they decided to hire mercenaries to kill Joe. When Joe found that he had an uncle named Olaf, he immediately seeked refuge in his place. During his 12.7 year stay with his uncle, he constantly thought of ways to create pies. But when he was 30.8 years old, his plans were foiled by them Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles out to get him again. He narrowly escaped by hot-wiring and stealing an enemy ship, which slipped past their radars as he escaped.
    One day, when he was touring the NASBOARD season, an extremely fast, fun, and deadly sport of throwing yourself off of a cliff and trying to get to the bottom first, he deiced to get drunk off of Sallian brandy, the most potent drinkable drink in the universe. After a while, he became a raging alcoholic constantly thinking of ways to destroy the race of turtles, and to make money.
    His new and improved ship that sails the universe is the Ghandi II, an Auroran Thunderforge, capable of destroying everything except planets and stars. Anything else, it can destroy (yes, that was redundant). It comes complete with a memory-foam-padded master chair layered with leather, and is even heated and cooled. Other added goodies are the ice skating rink, climbing wall, and even a wood-room to house Joe's largest private collection of pencils.
    Joe's new homeland, in the planet of Earth, is his Pellet farm, home to many very strange things, like the LAX 2000, providing .38 calibers of relief, Judge Joe Judy's ultimate "order in the court" gavel which shocks the audience when they need order, and also his specialty chartreuse cheese, which actually isn't cheese at all; it's a mix of Swiss Cake Rolls, heavy whipping cream, and genetically-engineered jerked chicken.
    Joe has a pet named Joe Jr. which is a killer version of a Lovable Fuzz of Ursula. It talks like a parrot, acts like a small poodle, and kills like an eagle. All of this, in a pink, fluffy, fuzzy, cute package.
    Joe even has it trained to spot-out bottles of Saalian Brandy, steal them , and bring them back to Joe.

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