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highsea
02 Jul 05,, 22:17
Breaking news....
Scientists Discover New Element
Private Email | JULY 1, 2005 | Source Unknown

A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium".

Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311.

These 311 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert.

However, it can be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but, instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass". When catalyzed with money Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element which radiates just as much energy, since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons.

Confed999
02 Jul 05,, 22:21
ROTFL! That's great. Thanks. :cool: :biggrin:

EnigmaNZ
04 Jul 05,, 08:21
Very funny Highsea lol, I was about to ask who was the twit who thought up the name until I read the body hehe Doh.

Amled
04 Jul 05,, 15:45
At first: :confused: !
Second reading: :eek: :biggrin: :biggrin:.
Good One! ;)

Jay
04 Jul 05,, 17:41
Very funny!! :tongue:

Asim Aquil
05 Jul 05,, 20:45
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass". When catalyzed with money Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element which radiates just as much energy, since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons.

LOL!

TopHatter
11 Jul 05,, 19:07
Very funny Highsea lol, I was about to ask who was the twit who thought up the name until I read the body hehe Doh.

It had me going too (and also wondering about the stupid name) until I started into the main body :biggrin:

Serves me right for speed-reading/skimming :redface:

hello
15 Jul 05,, 16:50
Breaking news....

Heh, good one highsea. It describes the Government of India in one go. :biggrin:

FlyingCaddy
16 Jul 05,, 06:57
Tops in my book, I'm shamelessly whoring this one out to every forum I am a member. Cheers!

Jonny555Biotch
16 Jul 05,, 23:26
Nice one. :biggrin:

bigross86
17 Jul 05,, 02:11
Politics : A Science derived from two words: "poli" meaning many, and "tics" meaning small bloodsucking insects. - Dave Barry

The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words, there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence, but government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911. - The National Review