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  • Ptsd

    Damn this bloody disease , 04.15 , cant sleep , drinking coffee , been asleep 2 hours , :madder:

  • #2
    Eh, it's almost time to stand to anyways. At one time it was every other night, then a couple of nights a month, now just once in a great while. Had to quit drinking though, shat.
    Reddite igitur quae sunt Caesaris Caesari et quae sunt Dei Deo
    (Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's and unto God the things which are God's)

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    • #3
      Originally posted by tankie View Post
      Damn this bloody disease , 04.15 , cant sleep , drinking coffee , been asleep 2 hours , :madder:
      Find someone to help carry it, journal it, write peotry about it, forgive those involved and clean up your side of the street and remember your not alone.

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      • #4
        Eric,

        It is a mark of a soldier never to admit the weakness but it is a mark of a man who needs help with your burden. Write it out. Even if you never share, you share with paper and believe it or not, you share with God. I know you are an athiest but let the universe know your pain. The universe listens even if it does not act.

        Your burden is not yours to be carried alone no matter how much you want it to be. It is for you to share, if with no one else, then the universe or God, whomever you choose. Write it out. Burn it. You've told your story and the universe listened.

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        • #5
          Cheers guy's , i do attend a therapy unit 3 times a year , Hollybush house in Scotland , it helps a great deal , i take enuff meds now and dont wish to start on sleepers , i have quit the vodka , but still have a beer or 3 .
          Last edited by tankie; 21 Dec 10,, 08:25.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by sappersgt View Post
            Eh, it's almost time to stand to anyways. At one time it was every other night, then a couple of nights a month, now just once in a great while. Had to quit drinking though, shat.
            Haa , my stand to days are well over S/Sarge ;)

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            • #7
              Originally posted by tankie View Post
              Damn this bloody disease , 04.15 , cant sleep , drinking coffee , been asleep 2 hours , :madder:
              Tankie,

              I'm sorry you have to go through this. We're here to listen and discuss, its something - I wish it was more. I can relate to the problem - though I can't fully understand it. I think many people feel something akin to this - when they go through a relationship breakup or other major life issues, though I do appreciate that the real thing, due to combat, is something only those who have been there and done that can really understand. I wish you healling and peace.
              sigpic"If your plan is for one year, plant rice. If your plan is for ten years, plant trees.
              If your plan is for one hundred years, educate children."

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              • #8
                Cheers m8 , a lot of Qs have been answered as to why , its not just combat , but also an amount of other things , the death of my wife at 27 years old , seeing 9 year old girls kneecapped while screaming for dad who was dead , head shot , its a culmination of many events not all combat related , nurses , doctors , cops , anyone can get it and have never seen combat . I must admit my active service was not long but i saw enough to piss my head around , losing my parents did not help even tho that was inevitable as we all know , but the death of my beautiful Marion did me in from Cancer , I had my son of 6 years old to look after so i had to leave the military , it would have been easy to leave him with his grandparents , but he needed me more than ever after losing his mum , over the advancing years the depression got worse and i could not understand why , but i do now and hopefully going forward , and yes i found it hard to keep relationships , i never knew how much it was destroying mine and others lives ,mind tho others have had much more trauma , still onwards and upwards huh .
                Last edited by tankie; 21 Dec 10,, 09:59.

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                • #9
                  I guess I've never realized how lucky some of us are that we go through and see some scary shit and come out of it OK, and how unfortunate it is that some of us don't make it clear out on the other side.

                  Tankster, I speak for myself, and I'm pretty sure I speak for everybody else here when I say that if you need any kind if help, I'm here for ya, just ask
                  Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

                  Abusing Yellow is meant to be a labor of love, not something you sell to the highest bidder.

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                  • #10
                    Hang in there M8. Leaving the hard liquor aside is a good way to start, something I need to do myself. It's insidious, and is definitely a form of self-medication.

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                    • #11
                      Hey tankie,

                      The Col has a good point about getting it out there. I joined up with vet groups just to see how others handled thier day to day. I started talking about things a few years ago, and actually not just when I was drunk. My father in law was a vietnam vet who never talked about anything. His wife and family never even knew he had been shot once over there. They just knew he was in the Navy, that was it. One day I started talking with him about his service, and he started talking back. Same thing happened with my neighbor before he passed away a few years ago. One day we sat down and started talking, his wife of about 20 years came up and said "what are you talking about? You never told me you were a pilot." He went in the house, brought out some old pics when he was a F-86 pilot. He was shot down twice over Korea and had a metal plate in his head. You could have knocked her over with a feather.

                      Both of them came to a veterans day party I organized a few years back, along with about 30 other guys I knew. From a LTC to privates, all branches, from Korean war to Gulf war. Every one of the guys said it felt good to tell some stories, good and bad, share some pictures, it was really a release for them. Every time I talk to any of the guys nowadays, they always say it was one of the best times they ever had and how it helped to open them up and deal with not only the service, but some of the other curveballs life throws at us.

                      You got my email, bend my ear anytime!

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by tankie View Post
                        nurses , doctors , cops , anyone can get it and have never seen combat .
                        Yup, mine stems from my childhood and then a life time of stuff I would not wish on anyone. It almost killed me via drug addiction. I spent years hyper vigiliant. Often the only time I felt normal was under high situational stress. I still see disaster around every corner and have a hard time trusting.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by tankie View Post
                          Haa , my stand to days are well over S/Sarge ;)
                          That was part of it for me. Finally falling asleep in exhaustion only to startle myself awake thinking it was time to stand to. Used to drive my now exwife crazy. I still wake up a half hour before dawn. I embrace it now, what used to a dark lonely place is now a quiet peaceful time for introspection before the craziness of the day. I pet the dog, drink my (decaf) coffee and then I go back to bed till the kids are up. No, not a bad way to live and the dog likes the company.
                          Last edited by sappersgt; 21 Dec 10,, 19:58.
                          Reddite igitur quae sunt Caesaris Caesari et quae sunt Dei Deo
                          (Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's and unto God the things which are God's)

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                          • #14
                            We are here for you...we may not have shared your exact experiences but we have shared your service. As much or as little we can do let us know.
                            “Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.”
                            Mark Twain

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by tankie View Post
                              Damn this bloody disease , 04.15 , cant sleep , drinking coffee , been asleep 2 hours , :madder:
                              Hey mate.............. sorry have been out of touch awhile, family stuff you know how it is...... anyway lets chat soon, see you have a skype id, along with Mr Lukins, I may have to get "more" into this modern world, dam its dragging me in............. but I refuse to facebook or twitter!!!!!!
                              Like S/Sgt and yourself and I am sure many more... I still am up and about before dawn, lucky some nights if I get 4 hours sleep but, maybe its me the body can be amazingly resilient and adaptable and I do not seem to suffer from tiredness....... but me and my "boy" Smudger (Black Lab) we go on our earlier morning perimeter patrol come back have our breakfast then plan our day......... yes he is the only one who listens to me now
                              sigpicFEAR NAUGHT

                              Should raw analytical data ever be passed to policy makers?

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