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  • South Korean Custodial Rights

    Anyone familiar with the legal system in S. Korea in regards to international custodial interference? We have a local boy who has been kidnapped by his non-custodial mother, and the father is haveing a dificult time w the S. Korean legal sytem.

    BRING BACK EDDIE | Facebook

    Edward "Eddie" Melanson 6 - Non Custodial Abduction - Ohio - Please Help Missing Children
    Whoever is unjust let him be unjust still
    Whoever is righteous let him be righteous still
    Whoever is filthy let him be filthy still
    Listen to the words long written down
    When the man comes around- Johnny Cash

  • #2
    Not just S. Korea.

    Lots of spouses married to Japanese nationals often report the same problem. Often, a Westerner marries a Japanese woman and has children with her. If the marriage fails and the couple opts for divorce, the Japanese mother often takes the children with her back to Japan so that the father cannot see them. Even getting visitation rights for the father through the Japanese justice system can be next to impossible; in most Japanese child custody cases, custody goes to the mother and the father must cut all ties with them. If the father (or mother) is non-Japanese, the bias is even stronger, with the judges usually deciding in favor of the Japanese parent.

    Whatever the feelings and intentions behind this case, I cannot help but wonder if the abductor was just another one of those Far Eastern women with a fetish for White men and wanting a half-White, half-Asian child.

    It might not be of much help, but the following US Dept. of State article should be a good place to start.

    International Parental Child Abduction South Korea

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Crocodylus View Post

      Whatever the feelings and intentions behind this case, I cannot help but wonder if the abductor was just another one of those Far Eastern women with a fetish for White men and wanting a half-White, half-Asian child.


      You have got to be joking.

      Have you ever lived in either of those countries? A half Korean or half Japanese child would be treated like dirt. I cannot think of anyone that would go out of their way for that.

      And to run back to the mother country, no self respecting Korean or Japanese man will ever want to marry that woman. Nor accept that child into their family.

      Its not done because of some crazy fetish.

      As for the husbands rights in Korea. This guy is pretty much screwed. Unless he can make a deal with the family.

      Comment


      • #4
        Even though discrimination is not as strong as before,...

        Originally posted by Gun Grape View Post
        You have got to be joking.

        Have you ever lived in either of those countries? A half Korean or half Japanese child would be treated like dirt. I cannot think of anyone that would go out of their way for that.

        And to run back to the mother country, no self respecting Korean or Japanese man will ever want to marry that woman. Nor accept that child into their family.

        Its not done because of some crazy fetish.
        Which makes it all the more puzzling. In all probability, the mother knew that her child would face discrimination in Korea and that she would become something of an outcast, at least in her home town. What would lead her, in spite of all that, to make a decision so counterproductive as marrying an American and having his children? Did she want to spite her family? Or did she always have a thing for American men? Beats me.

        From the photograph on the webpage, she seems to be in her late 30s. Perhaps she was not the most desirable woman for marriage and so she went several years being single. Women in Japan and Korea have become more socially liberated with the rise of the Pacific Rim economies, but the domestically minded and chaste woman is still widely regarded as the ideal wife by many men in both countries. In Japan such an ideal is known as 良妻賢母 (ryôsai kenbo - good wife, wise mother)

        I have not been to Korea, but I do have a few Japanese e-mail pals with whom I've corresponded over the years. From my experience, most Japanese have zero experience dealing with foreigners, so what might seem like xenophobia, isn't. Rather, it's just a cultural wall born of mutual ignorance. Also, Japanese have been getting accustomed to the presence of half-Japanese persons within their borders, but there is still that touch of xenophobia, mainly because the mutual lack of familiarity with culture & customs can lead to rather embarrassing misunderstandings, which most Japanese would much rather avoid whenever possible. As well, most Japanese strongly believe their nation to be racially & genetically monolithic (which it isn't) and marriage to foreigners is still met with suspicion, even if it is becoming more and more accepted.

        From what I've read on the subject of mixed-race children in Korea, Koreans are usually not accepting of such people. There is widespread discrimination against mixed-race Koreans and it is not unheard of for Koreans to shaft foreigners whenever the chance arises. Of course this does not happen openly, but it is there.

        Here is an article from Sept. 2009. Is Racism Serious Here?

        I wouldn't really blame them, though. The Chinese gave them a hard time. The Japanese gave them a hard time. The Manchurians gave them a hard time. The Russians and Americans gave them a hard time. With so many foreign invaders throughout their national history, it is only natural for Koreans to develop a strong "us-vs-them" mentality regarding foreigners.

        Yes, there is discrimination against mixed-race children and their parents in Japan and S. Korea, but it is not as severe and widespread as it was even 20 years ago, even if it can still be seen.

        As for the husbands rights in Korea. This guy is pretty much screwed. Unless he can make a deal with the family.
        This is what I fear. The mother went to Korea, probably with the expectation that her family will shelter her.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Crocodylus View Post
          Which makes it all the more puzzling. In all probability, the mother knew that her child would face discrimination in Korea and that she would become something of an outcast, at least in her home town. What would lead her, in spite of all that, to make a decision so counterproductive as marrying an American and having his children? Did she want to spite her family? Or did she always have a thing for American men? Beats me.
          Maybe that good old fashion reason. Love.

          I have not been to Korea, but I do have a few Japanese e-mail pals with whom I've corresponded over the years. From my experience, most Japanese have zero experience dealing with foreigners, so what might seem like xenophobia, isn't. Rather, it's just a cultural wall born of mutual ignorance. Also, Japanese have been getting accustomed to the presence of half-Japanese persons within their borders, but there is still that touch of xenophobia, mainly because the mutual lack of familiarity with culture & customs can lead to rather embarrassing misunderstandings, which most Japanese would much rather avoid whenever possible. As well, most Japanese strongly believe their nation to be racially & genetically monolithic (which it isn't) and marriage to foreigners is still met with suspicion, even if it is becoming more and more accepted.
          So you haven't actually been to Japan either? Basing you views on e-mail correspondence. You are aware of the quaint little Japanese custom of not telling you something that they think may offend you?

          Its hard enough to figure out what their true meaning is when conversing in person cannot imagine trying to figure out the nuances from an E-mail.

          From what I've read on the subject of mixed-race children in Korea, Koreans are usually not accepting of such people. There is widespread discrimination against mixed-race Koreans and it is not unheard of for Koreans to shaft foreigners whenever the chance arises. Of course this does not happen openly, but it is there.
          Its a bit like Japan. Neither like unpure children in the family. As for shafting Americans sure they do. No more or less that anyone else. You have to know their customs and play by their rules. Do that and you will be OK Try to play the big know it all American who demands results and you might as well throw your money away.


          This is what I fear. The mother went to Korea, probably with the expectation that her family will shelter her.
          And they will. In her parents eyes the American husband most likely wasn't accepted as part of the family anyway. She will have a hard time finding a Korean husband though.

          Comment


          • #6
            Economic improvement has opened doors.

            Originally posted by Gun Grape View Post
            Maybe that good old fashion reason. Love.
            Always happens, especially in an age when more and more Far Eastern women travel outside their home countries. Around 50 or even 20 years ago such a phenomenon was not so common. Back then almost all Japanese and Korean women were expected to become housewives and be there for their husbands and in-laws. However, nowadays it is easier for women to support themselves financially, so marriage has become something that can be deferred, even if there is still pressure for women (and men) to get married by a certain age.

            Even so, most Japanese and Korean women would love to become housewives. This usually means getting the paycheck and managing it, while giving the husband a bit of pocket money for lunch :))

            There are certain social and historical factors that bring about such conditions, but I'll leave that for a later time.

            So you haven't actually been to Japan either? Basing you views on e-mail correspondence. You are aware of the quaint little Japanese custom of not telling you something that they think may offend you?
            I've known about the Japanese predilection for avoiding embarrassing replies for some time now. They always try hard not to say no, especially when a negative reply can disrupt group harmony - and in Japan and Korea alike, group harmony counts for a lot. I found that out the hard way, and that was just through e-mail.

            Its hard enough to figure out what their true meaning is when conversing in person cannot imagine trying to figure out the nuances from an E-mail.
            Depends on the language. Japanese and English are very different languages. I usually carry out my correspondence in Japanese, so I have some idea as to what nuances might be expressed therein. Changes in vocabulary are one way to know (at least in part) the feelings of the other speaker. In Japanese, the vocabulary differs according to the level of respect accorded by the speaker. With elders and persons of high social rank, a "polite" style of speech is used. With friends, children, and family members a "casual" style of speech is used. There are also an "elevated" style for situations requiring an elegiac level of respect (such as in a formal dinner) and a "vulgar" style, best used only with intimate friends and family and only in certain situations, since it is possible to start a fistfight using this style. Changes in vocabulary will indicate what style is being used.

            Its a bit like Japan. Neither like unpure children in the family.
            This tendency seems to be much stronger in Korea than in Japan. Japan has not had a history of being threatened with foreign domination like that of Korea. The Japanese are still strongly influenced by the traditions of the Edo era, in which contact with foreigners was almost nil. In fact, throughout most of Japanese history contact with foreigners was limited and whatever contact did occur was usually between nobles in Japan and whatever foreign country with which the Imperial Court was having relations.

            Not to mention that, surely, most Japanese and Koreans have seen, in America's example, what multiculturalism can do to a country, at least when poorly managed. This reinforces the belief that Japan and Korea are much better off as ethnically homogenous nations. And I don't blame them.

            Thus, Japanese do not always readily associate with mixed-race people, even though nowadays they can be seen on public media everywhere throughout Japan and, at least in Tokyo and other large metropolises, seen walking about in public. For example, Yu Darvish is a player for the Nippon Ham Fighters. He is son of an Iranian father and Japanese mother. He is married to サエコ (Saeko) a Japanese actress and has a son with her. There is a long list of mixed-race Japanese celebrities, but I won't list them here.

            As for Korean mixed-race personalities, there is a baseball player who is half-Black, half-Korean. (I don't remember his name at the moment.) A bit unusual since persons with an African-American father tend to face worse discrimination than what is experienced by those with a Caucasian father.

            Koreans and, to a slightly lesser extent, Japanese see themselves as ethnically homogenous nations. In the sense that they have not experienced any major waves of foreign immigration, that is true. However, genetically both Japanese and Koreans have a bit of SE Asian as well as Central Asian, Middle Eastern, and (in the case of the Japanese) native Jômon ancestry. This last bit is readily visible in the facial and other physical features of the majority of Japanese. For example, the eyes of most Japanese are either straight or slightly slanted and tend to have rosy cheeks, with brown or olive skin. Koreans have mostly slanted eyes and slightly yellowish facial complexion. Also, they tend to be a bit darker in complexion than the Japanese.

            At first, all Japanese, Koreans, and Chinese looked the same to me. Then one day I decided to study existing differences in appearance and I found interesting ones, such as the aforementioned.

            As for shafting Americans sure they do. No more or less that anyone else. You have to know their customs and play by their rules. Do that and you will be OK Try to play the big know it all American who demands results and you might as well throw your money away.
            LOTS of Americans go to Japan and Korea with such an attitude. in the end all they get are the low-class whores who're after their wallets. (Just enough money to buy that Vuitton bag )

            I did at first make the mistake of being presumptuous in my dealings with my Japanese e-pals. Now I am not so presumptuous and prefer to ask rather than tell. Pleasant conversation is a must AFAIK.

            And they will. In her parents eyes the American husband most likely wasn't accepted as part of the family anyway. She will have a hard time finding a Korean husband though.
            Which brings to mind, did the American husband behave in a way that made the Korean wife want to break up with him? Lots of American men make the mistake of marrying an Asian woman with the expectation that she will be more submissive and pliable (read, tolerate his jerkish behavior to which the average American woman would react in euqal measure). A bit hard to believe since my mother was ¼ Chinese and she was rather heady, despite being gentle.

            I bet the American guy went around saying that Korean guys have small genitals Big mistake.

            As for the fugitive ex-wife, a high-class Korean man might be out of her reach. A middle-class guy might be a bit easier and a low-class guy might actually consider marrying her. It depends on the family and the individual, though. If she is a slovenly woman who has no taste for domesticity, she is going to have a hard time indeed.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Crocodylus View Post
              Lots of spouses married to Japanese nationals often report the same problem. Often, a Westerner marries a Japanese woman and has children with her. If the marriage fails and the couple opts for divorce, the Japanese mother often takes the children with her back to Japan so that the father cannot see them. Even getting visitation rights for the father through the Japanese justice system can be next to impossible; in most Japanese child custody cases, custody goes to the mother and the father must cut all ties with them. If the father (or mother) is non-Japanese, the bias is even stronger, with the judges usually deciding in favor of the Japanese parent.

              Whatever the feelings and intentions behind this case, I cannot help but wonder if the abductor was just another one of those Far Eastern women with a fetish for White men and wanting a half-White, half-Asian child.

              It might not be of much help, but the following US Dept. of State article should be a good place to start.

              International Parental Child Abduction South Korea
              ty ~ i fowarded it
              Whoever is unjust let him be unjust still
              Whoever is righteous let him be righteous still
              Whoever is filthy let him be filthy still
              Listen to the words long written down
              When the man comes around- Johnny Cash

              Comment

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