Okay, I've held off for as long as I can without bursting, herein is the beginning of my personal crusade to bring the ugly-mans ballet to an uncaring world.
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For those not in the know, Rugby is the closest yet to bringing hand-to-hand unarmed combat within the realms of sport.
The object? Get the ball and run to the other end of the paddock, maiming as many of the opposition on the way as possible.
My prediction? Whenever it may be that the All Blacks and the Springboks meet, the winner will win the cup. The All Blacks have the legs on the Springboks, but well deserve the title of chokers.... Time will tell and I can't wait.
The World Cup is into its second week and there's been plenty to talk about at this sixth edition of the global gathering of rugby's elite. The south has started with a roar, the north with a whimper, Georgia came within a hair's breadth of pulling off the upset of the century and, naturally, there's been injuries, suspensions and the vagaries of form for us all to chew over.
There's a long way to go yet and it's fair to say the tournament is yet to really spring to life, with a surfeit of quality matches between genuine contenders. (Actually that's probably because there is a surfeit of genuine contenders.) Still, there's been enough to enthuse over for me to trot out an early edition of my top 10 World Cup moments so far. Here they are:
1. Georgia on our minds. They say rugby is the game played in heaven, but if it is, and there is a god watching over all this footballing fury, then he/she did a disservice to the gallant Georgians by refusing to smile on them at the weekend. The men from the former Soviet territory went down 10-14 to Ireland in a performance that, finally, justified the IRB's expansionist policy. The minnows finally roared, and what a sight it was. As mentioned, if there had been any justice the Georgians would have won this match, and they went within centimetres of doing so in a clash that sent shockwaves through Irish rugby. Those grizzled Georgia forwards looked like extras from The Sopranos and their uncomplicated, muscular approach and the tremendous commitment all-round showed what can happen if the also-rans of the rugby world really put their mind to it. England can only be thankful that these guys are in another pool.
2. The big, bad, breathtaking Boks say 'Come and get us'. Sure, the All Blacks may be the bookies' favourites, but Jake White's South Africans laid down the early marker at this World Cup with their 36-0 demolition of England. With a mix of lightning strikes from deep, clinical execution and destructive defence, they tore the '03 champs apart limb by limb. In fact, it was so resoundlingly impressive and so one-sided that you almost felt embarrassed for England. Almost. Right now, all things being equal, it looks like it's going to be an All Blacks-Boks final, and that, folks, should really rip your shorts.
3. Argentina's opening-game upset of France. . Exhibit 'G' in the case for inclusion of the Pumas in one of the world's premier rugby competitions, these guys showed they're the real deal at the top level. They also got the show on the road with an upset, which is always a good thing. It may not have been overly pretty, but who cared. The hosts, and the tournament, were handed the ultimate early wakeup call.
4. The All Blacks' first 20 minutes against Italy. The New Zealanders won't be pushed until the quarter-final (if then) but the opening quarter against a side that is now a respectable opponent in the Six Nations showed how far above the pack Graham Henry's men are when they put their game together. It was exhilarating, up-tempo, highly skilled rugby at its best. Who said defence wins World Cups?
5. Tonga's upset over Samoa. There's nothing like a bit of island rivalry to get the blood boiling. First win for the Tongans over their neighbours in seven years and thoroughly deserved it was too. Plus, was anybody surprised the victors had to finish the match with 13 men? Just added to the drama. Not one for the faint-hearted, but one that will have the kava flowing over at Team Tonga who now have two wins under their belts and may just believe the impossible is possible.
6. The crowds in general. OK, it's not a moment per se, but let's call it a collective standout. France, the team, may have made a less than impressive start to the tournament but France, the nation, has made a dream beginning. Big crowds, brilliant weather, party atmospheres ... the World Cup may be yet to spring to life on the pitch, but the festival has well and truly begun off it. Fans in the stands are in many ways what this tournament is about, and they're singing loud and proud so far.
7. Brian Ashton's stiff upper lip. Or should this be, the England coach's steadfast refusal to stare reality iin the face. I include this purely for its comedic value. England have just been blanked 36-0 by South Africa in Paris, revealing themselves to be even more one-dimensionally bad than anybody thought possible and the coach refuses to accept there had been a lack of progress from the first-up win over the USA. "I think you are miles off the mark there," Ashton says. ""The whole context was different and in some areas we played better than we did last week." Yeah, that's why they were lucky to get nil.
8. The IRB's rethink on the Schalk Burger ban. Finally some sanity prevailed. Four matches for that? Please. It's about time these guys realised that this is a World Cup about the players and that the fans paying the big ticket prices want to see the best out there on the paddock. Make your statements on foul play, but don't take a sledgehammer to knock a nail home. At least officialdom was big enough to admit it got it wrong on this one. Thank goodness for that.
9. Portugal's try against the All Blacks. Has a team ever celebrated more when they've had a ton put past them? Os Obos didn't care a jot that they were being made to look like blind men playing touch by a New Zealand side able to score almost at will when they decided to hang on to the ball. Who cared? They were on the same field as the All Blacks and they and their fans were going to have their fun, be damned. And when they scored ... well, let's just say that Rui Cordeiro has ensured his name will go down in Portuguese rugby history.
10. The new-age "sensitive" All Blacks. Sensivity, it seems, has become the new buzzword of New Zealand rugby, replacing "journey" from four years earlier. Graham Henry introduced us to it when he talked about the "sensitivity" his players would show against the amateurs of Portugal. If you call 113 points being sensitive, then long may it continue. Still, at least they didn't really hurt any of those nice men from Portugal.
There's a long way to go yet and it's fair to say the tournament is yet to really spring to life, with a surfeit of quality matches between genuine contenders. (Actually that's probably because there is a surfeit of genuine contenders.) Still, there's been enough to enthuse over for me to trot out an early edition of my top 10 World Cup moments so far. Here they are:
1. Georgia on our minds. They say rugby is the game played in heaven, but if it is, and there is a god watching over all this footballing fury, then he/she did a disservice to the gallant Georgians by refusing to smile on them at the weekend. The men from the former Soviet territory went down 10-14 to Ireland in a performance that, finally, justified the IRB's expansionist policy. The minnows finally roared, and what a sight it was. As mentioned, if there had been any justice the Georgians would have won this match, and they went within centimetres of doing so in a clash that sent shockwaves through Irish rugby. Those grizzled Georgia forwards looked like extras from The Sopranos and their uncomplicated, muscular approach and the tremendous commitment all-round showed what can happen if the also-rans of the rugby world really put their mind to it. England can only be thankful that these guys are in another pool.
2. The big, bad, breathtaking Boks say 'Come and get us'. Sure, the All Blacks may be the bookies' favourites, but Jake White's South Africans laid down the early marker at this World Cup with their 36-0 demolition of England. With a mix of lightning strikes from deep, clinical execution and destructive defence, they tore the '03 champs apart limb by limb. In fact, it was so resoundlingly impressive and so one-sided that you almost felt embarrassed for England. Almost. Right now, all things being equal, it looks like it's going to be an All Blacks-Boks final, and that, folks, should really rip your shorts.
3. Argentina's opening-game upset of France. . Exhibit 'G' in the case for inclusion of the Pumas in one of the world's premier rugby competitions, these guys showed they're the real deal at the top level. They also got the show on the road with an upset, which is always a good thing. It may not have been overly pretty, but who cared. The hosts, and the tournament, were handed the ultimate early wakeup call.
4. The All Blacks' first 20 minutes against Italy. The New Zealanders won't be pushed until the quarter-final (if then) but the opening quarter against a side that is now a respectable opponent in the Six Nations showed how far above the pack Graham Henry's men are when they put their game together. It was exhilarating, up-tempo, highly skilled rugby at its best. Who said defence wins World Cups?
5. Tonga's upset over Samoa. There's nothing like a bit of island rivalry to get the blood boiling. First win for the Tongans over their neighbours in seven years and thoroughly deserved it was too. Plus, was anybody surprised the victors had to finish the match with 13 men? Just added to the drama. Not one for the faint-hearted, but one that will have the kava flowing over at Team Tonga who now have two wins under their belts and may just believe the impossible is possible.
6. The crowds in general. OK, it's not a moment per se, but let's call it a collective standout. France, the team, may have made a less than impressive start to the tournament but France, the nation, has made a dream beginning. Big crowds, brilliant weather, party atmospheres ... the World Cup may be yet to spring to life on the pitch, but the festival has well and truly begun off it. Fans in the stands are in many ways what this tournament is about, and they're singing loud and proud so far.
7. Brian Ashton's stiff upper lip. Or should this be, the England coach's steadfast refusal to stare reality iin the face. I include this purely for its comedic value. England have just been blanked 36-0 by South Africa in Paris, revealing themselves to be even more one-dimensionally bad than anybody thought possible and the coach refuses to accept there had been a lack of progress from the first-up win over the USA. "I think you are miles off the mark there," Ashton says. ""The whole context was different and in some areas we played better than we did last week." Yeah, that's why they were lucky to get nil.
8. The IRB's rethink on the Schalk Burger ban. Finally some sanity prevailed. Four matches for that? Please. It's about time these guys realised that this is a World Cup about the players and that the fans paying the big ticket prices want to see the best out there on the paddock. Make your statements on foul play, but don't take a sledgehammer to knock a nail home. At least officialdom was big enough to admit it got it wrong on this one. Thank goodness for that.
9. Portugal's try against the All Blacks. Has a team ever celebrated more when they've had a ton put past them? Os Obos didn't care a jot that they were being made to look like blind men playing touch by a New Zealand side able to score almost at will when they decided to hang on to the ball. Who cared? They were on the same field as the All Blacks and they and their fans were going to have their fun, be damned. And when they scored ... well, let's just say that Rui Cordeiro has ensured his name will go down in Portuguese rugby history.
10. The new-age "sensitive" All Blacks. Sensivity, it seems, has become the new buzzword of New Zealand rugby, replacing "journey" from four years earlier. Graham Henry introduced us to it when he talked about the "sensitivity" his players would show against the amateurs of Portugal. If you call 113 points being sensitive, then long may it continue. Still, at least they didn't really hurt any of those nice men from Portugal.
For those not in the know, Rugby is the closest yet to bringing hand-to-hand unarmed combat within the realms of sport.
The object? Get the ball and run to the other end of the paddock, maiming as many of the opposition on the way as possible.
My prediction? Whenever it may be that the All Blacks and the Springboks meet, the winner will win the cup. The All Blacks have the legs on the Springboks, but well deserve the title of chokers.... Time will tell and I can't wait.
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