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Southie
30 Jun 07,, 12:33
I was talking with a friend one day about an embarrassing moment I had while on active duty and wanted to hear other stories.

Here's mine...While I was stationed at Tyndall AFB, I did the Awards and Decorations program. Once the packages met the board I would take them with the score sheets over to General Horners office for his signature. One day I was talking with the administrative clerk about one the packages and was in a squatting position. I was wearing my skirt and heels. Well, General Horner came out of his office and everyone stood up at attention. I went to stand up, my heel got caught in my skirt hem, and I landed on my a$$. General Horner was really cool about it, came over and offered his hand to help me up. I finished my business there, and left the office. Later that day I went over to pick up the packages. The sun was real bright, and my head was down. Just as I looked up, I ran right into General Horner. It was not a good day for me! :redface:

glyn
30 Jun 07,, 14:38
A friend of mine was Duty Officer at the Ministry of Defence in London one night in the early 1980s. He was expecting me to phone him at a certain time, so when the telephone rang he said "War Office. Want a fight?" in a jocular manner. The caller was not me. It was Margaret Thatcher who of course was Prime Minister at the time! She asked him a few technical questions and then rang off. He was worried that he would get disciplined for such unprofessional behavior (his service time was nearly up) but he never heard another thing about it. When I rang him a minute or so later I was quite surprised to be answered by him giving his rank, name and appointment!

Triple C
30 Jun 07,, 18:04
My friend's comrade in his egineer company sounded the alarm after siting an unidentified flying object at his sentry watch. Just a few days prior a Taiwanese special forces team "raided" the base and achieved the simulated destruction of the division. The man that missed the "opfor" in that suprise war game was thrown into the brig--solitary confinement for gross incompetence, says the C.O. The new guy was not about to take his chances. He radioed his superior for suspected hostile contact. The C.O. inquired his higher ups about the existence of any further unschedualed military excercises. The negatory prompted the division to go crazy, looking for communist parachutists. No one had any sleep until the offending baloon, allegely quite extraordinary in size, was dully captured, and presumably destroyed.

Officer of Engineers
30 Jun 07,, 21:25
Kilt. The Queen's Own Camerons. Bachelor Party. Strip Club.

I'm sure you all could put it together.

sappersgt
30 Jun 07,, 21:37
I threw up not quite on the General but close enough to splatter his shoes. I had just been released from hospital for an awards ceremony and they had shot me full of Demerol and Benzedrine. Let me tell you I was feeling pretty darned good! I was warned to only speak in single word sentences and to NOT drink the whiskey but I couldn't hardly refuse to toast the General now could I? I not sure if it was the second or third (fourth?) whiskey that did me in. Oh well, I got promoted anyway.:rolleyes: :biggrin:

soutie
04 Jul 07,, 16:45
one thing i hated during basics was hand grenade drill,was bloody terrified of them ,we where on the border and one friday afternoon we had weapons drill,
some brightspark of a colonel decided that everyone should throw hand grenades well i told them oh no not me ,well an order is an order i picked this h26 grenade up held it in my sweaty hands proceded to sling the bloody thing ,i managed to throw it sideways its the quikest i have seen 2 major one colonel and a captain disappear 3 inches under the dirt,recovering from the intial shock i apologised for my clumsyness ,the major turned to the colonel and said you owe me 50 rand i know this guy he cannot throw an orange never mind a hand grenade ,the buggers we actually betting on me :biggrin:

sappersgt
04 Jul 07,, 21:10
one thing i hated during basics was hand grenade drill,was bloody terrified of them ,we where on the border and one friday afternoon we had weapons drill,
some brightspark of a colonel decided that everyone should throw hand grenades well i told them oh no not me ,well an order is an order i picked this h26 grenade up held it in my sweaty hands proceded to sling the bloody thing ,i managed to throw it sideways its the quikest i have seen 2 major one colonel and a captain disappear 3 inches under the dirt,recovering from the intial shock i apologised for my clumsyness ,the major turned to the colonel and said you owe me 50 rand i know this guy he cannot throw an orange never mind a hand grenade ,the buggers we actually betting on me :biggrin:

Soutie, I'm still laughing! :biggrin:

My CO and I were observing grenade drill one afternoon when one the men dropped a live grenade. In an almost perfectly choreographed movement we both dove over the sandbag wall, me landing first, he coming down a fraction of a second later and knocking the wind out of me. The Sargeant in charge of the drill calmly kicked the grenade into the sump and pulled the hapless soldier to the ground as it went off.

As we both got up he said, "Sargeant, you've got dirt on your uniform." His uniform was clean of course as he had landed on top of me. He then followed up with, "you're getting slow, if you'd been quicker you could've kicked that grenade into the sump".

I paused for a moment and replied, "Slow? Well, I did beat you, Sir!":biggrin:

tommyp48
11 Jul 07,, 01:07
It was 1968 and in some port in the Med and I was the bow hook of the Captain's Gig of the USS SELLERS DDG-11. We made the quarterdeck and picked up the skipper. Then we went and got the commodore of the destroyer division we were part of. With him aboard we made our way to the USS INDEPENDENCE CVA 62, a huge attack carrier of the Forrestal Class.

We made it to the base of the carrier's stern and I grabbed a rail on the bottom of their accomomdation ladder. The water was rough and I could not hold onto both the gig and the carrier. They didn't give us much training like telling us to always stay with the boat or practicing it and I lost the gig. This was very unprofessional and it made our skipper look bad in front of the commodore. I felt like an idiot standing there, very much alone, on the bottom platform of the carrier's accommodation ladder waiting for the gig and the skipper to come back. I was a good swabbie with good quarterly marks but that is the one incident in my career that I wish had not happened.

Kernow
11 Jul 07,, 01:38
I was Guard Commander one Saturday evening in Germany. At approximately 01:00 hours the Guard Room received a Call from a worried neighbour. The neighbour informed the Guard Room that they could hear terrible screaming coming from the flat above. Myself and 2 soldiers armed ourselves with Pick-Helves and prodceeded by Land Rover to the said Married Quarter. On arrival there was indeed 'Blood Curdling' screaming going on. We proceeded to the door and broke it down to gain access, made aour way to the room where the screaming was coming from, entered nervously, and there before our very eyes was a woman, totally naked tied to the bed screaming for all she was worth, lying on the floor not too far away was a naked male with severe head injuries, on closer inspection I noticed that it was my Troop Sgt; he and his wife were only up to Hi Jinks, with her being on the bed and him diving off the wardroab only to land head first on to the Head Board. Needless to say when he recovered he asked me to keep it quiet, unfortunately he was 4 days too late, real Hoot.