Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Hitting kids

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Hitting kids

    YouTube - The Timaru Lady speaks out - herself

    The history. Two years ago the woman who is pictured in the youtube video was acquitted by a jury for beating her son on two separate occasions, once with a cane and once with a whip. Note in the video the man she refers to as her husband is not the childs father.

    Jury clears mother over 'six of the best'
    12:00AM Friday May 27, 2005

    A mother who admitted hitting her son with a horse whip and a bamboo cane based on her Christian beliefs has been found not guilty of assaulting the boy.

    The 39-year-old, who received final name suppression, was on trial in the Timaru District Court before a jury on two charges of assaulting her son, then aged under 14.

    It took the jury one hour and 10 minutes yesterday to reach a decision.

    The woman admitted giving her son "six of the best" with a cane for misbehaving at school, and striking him three to four times with a horse whip after an incident in which the boy waved a baseball bat at her partner.
    Full story

    Because of this case, A politician called Sue Bradford introduced a private members bill into parliament to repeal section 59, a section in our crimes acts allowing the 'reasonable use of force' against children.

    Here is the site for the repeal of section 59

    what in the video she calls 'syphs' is CYFS

    And before I led you up the garden path, the womans statements in the above video should be tempered with the knowledge that she is currently facing charges of binding another son hand and foot on the side of the road and along with her husband kicking and punching that son. The husband, the childs stepfather, has plead guilty, she is again pleading not guilty under section 59.
    New Zealand IIRC has the highest youth suicide rate per capita in the developed world.
    We have IIRC the highest number of murdered children per capita in the developed world.
    We have the highest rate of violence toward children per capita in the developed world.

    Anyone wants more sources or info let me know, but it's hard to find good sources on this as the Government controls the statistics.

    Much has been made recently of a poll which stated that 80% of New Zealanders were opposed to the repeal of the act, which I personally find astounding, but then looking at the murder, assault and suicide statistics, maybe I shouldn't be.
    I myself was hit many times as a kid, both by my parents and teachers, and it didn't make a blind bit of difference to my behaviour except I never really trusted my Dad afterwards, and a couple of occasions where I had to explain away the bruising to inquisitive friends or why I couldn't do various activities.

    I have never found or percieved the need to hit my children, infact it is one of the few situations where ironically I would use force if someone else were to attempt to. My daughter is 7 and while still being something of a messy eater is otherwise perfectly civilised, my son of course is just entering the terrible twos.
    As such I am one of the twenty percent who believe that the protections under section 59 should be removed, and children gain the same rights to freedom from assaults as adults.


    What do you all think?
    Last edited by Parihaka; 16 Apr 07,, 09:17.
    In the realm of spirit, seek clarity; in the material world, seek utility.

    Leibniz

  • #2
    Spankings or a shot to the butt with a belt or a small paddle was a powerful reminder to me that I had crossed a line that I should not have crossed. Coupled with other milder punishments involving shame (made to stand in the corner facing away from everyone for a few minutes if I acted up at the dinner table for instance), I was taught acceptable behaviors and that actions have consequences. I have no problem with any of the above and don't really understand anyone who does have a problem with it. If I had children I would no doubt employ that methodology if I felt it was warranted.

    True beatings however, such as described in the article above, are beyond "reasonable" in my opinion.

    -dale

    Comment


    • #3
      I was never beaten as a child, although I must have received the occasional slap across the legs when I got out of order. I found with my own children even that mild punishment was un-necessary. A 'talking to' was usually enough. Being sent to their room was the next step, but seldom employed. The ultimate sanction was loss of pocket money. That was totally effective in my daughters case, and resulted in an immediate return to the human race! They are adults with children of their own now, and I am proud of them. I am with Pari on this one. The fact that her religious beliefs are mentioned cuts no ice with me.
      Semper in excretum. Solum profunda variat.

      Comment


      • #4
        Mini me gets spanked when she crosses the line. She knows well ahead of time when she has about a mile to go before she gets to that line though. A smack to her bum never comes as a surprise to her and rarely needs to be enforced.

        She went through a smacking phase last year and the first time she smacked me, she got smacked back (but without warning this time) on the hand and that took care of that. She stood there in shock and surprise and stopped smacking people.

        Beating. Binding and putting by the side of the road. Horse whips and bamboo canes. WAAAYYYY overboard. That is not discipline - that is abuse.
        "To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are."-Sholem Asch

        "I always turn to the sports page first, which records people's accomplishments. The front page has nothing but man's failures."-Earl Warren

        "I didn't intend for this to take on a political tone. I'm just here for the drugs."-Nancy Reagan, when asked a political question at a "Just Say No" rally

        "He no play-a da game, he no make-a da rules."-Earl Butz, on the Pope's attitude toward birth control

        Comment


        • #5
          All I have to do is hold up a fly-swatter, and my children stand at attention. ;)

          Comment


          • #6
            Reaching for the elephant gun worked for me

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by dave lukins View Post
              Reaching for the elephant gun worked for me
              LOL

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Parihaka View Post
                A mother who admitted hitting her son with a horse whip and a bamboo cane based on her Christian beliefs has been found not guilty of assaulting the boy.
                Surely its the jury that got that one wrong, not the law. Or where they applying some kind of unofficial Biblical law?

                No civilised nation would call this "reasonable". My blood boils

                I have never hit my kids at all, never come close to wanting to or needing to; but some people believe it gets their attention, others think the kids may remember the "lesson" better and helps to build "respect"; I doubt it, and it may damage the relationship with the parent. But I cannot see much else wrong with a non traumatising smacklet, and it is a little over the top to outlaw all smacking. I am not surprised the repeal is not supported. I think in schools the hands-off law has contributed to an evolving disaster.
                Last edited by bandwagon; 16 Apr 07,, 19:08.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by THL View Post
                  Beating. Binding and putting by the side of the road. Horse whips and bamboo canes. WAAAYYYY overboard. That is not discipline - that is abuse.
                  Actually, I'm pretty thankful my parents decided to be generous with the rattan cane and leather belt with my brothers and I throughout our formative years before we decided to wake up and straighten ourselves out. *shrug*

                  @Bandwagon,

                  I'm thinking that maybe the woman and jury had Proverbs in mind with the "spare the rod etc." part, but like you, I think the jury messed it up. Binding your kid and kicking and punching him with your husband beside the road is really way over top.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by dalem View Post
                    True beatings however, such as described in the article above, are beyond "reasonable" in my opinion.

                    -dale
                    I agree with Dale here, a full on beating is crossing the line but a smack in the face when a child talks back or gets seriously out of line is justified and I would even encourage it. I have never recieved a true beating as in the article but if I talked back to my mother of father or did something very wrong my mother or father would slap me in the face, or if available "the wooden spoon" all Italians are familiar with.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I'm in agreement with DaleM also. The few times I ever tried to talk back or cuss at my mom or dad, I got a whack. I learned quick. I've had to spank my daughter when she was little ( once when she was 6) - never had to do it since. There is a line dividing discipline and brutality.

                      Kids know the difference too. It's all about mutual respect after a certain age. Now, ( at age 20) she asks me for advice all the time!!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        My dad broke a brush on my butt and I responded with serves you right. Needless to say the punishment became harsher. I'm lucky that with both of my kids all I have to do is talk to them in a soft tone and I usually have them crying. Thank god they didin't turn out like me.
                        “When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.” ~ Jimi Hendrix
                        "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
                        sigpic

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          i never got beaten by my parenmts but guy in the video tell truth about
                          indian parents
                          YouTube - Russell Peters - Beating Your Kids

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I try to abuse my son as often as possible but he just laughs at me and threatens to hide my cane so I can't get around.
                            I have 3 great children which early off I spanked with my open hand or my belt. I learned that what worked for one child was not guaranteed to work for the others. About 12 years in my wife left for her dreams and left the children to me so I put away the belt and many old ideas of right and wrong went to some parenting classes. I learned many things the best of which was about positive reenforcement. Spanking is just one tool in the box and there are lots of tools to chose from. I encourage all parents to seek out parenting classes. Why hit your children if you don't have to? One of my favorite tools was THE ROPE used only if they were fighting with each other in an unreasonable way. THE ROPE was about 6 feet long and had a small cow bell close to the middle, 3 stationary loops for handholds. The 3 children were to hold the rope while doing chores for a period of time (Till I was persuaded that they had learned to get along.) with no talking and minimal ringing of the bell. This tool forced them to work together as each only had one free hand to work with. My children are now grown and all have swore that when I die they will burn that DAMN ROPE.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I am totally against a father spanking a daughter...only teaches them that men have the right to pound on them

                              But...now...my son, the rascal, has had a few smacks on the rump. I am happy to report he hasn't changed one iota...but I felt the worse for it.

                              What was it JC is supposed to have said, "woe to those who harm the little ones...etc."

                              Four rules for spanking. Only for disobedience (if you haven't taught them better, it's your fault); never in the heat of anger (that's when we make the worse mistakes); never so it hurts more than a moment; if there's a good alternative, better not at all.
                              To be Truly ignorant, Man requires an Education - Plato

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X