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  • Should Blue States Join Canada?

    U.S. should send its liberal states to Canada, where they belong
    By Gwynne Dyer
    SYNDICATED COLUMNIST

    Looking at that extraordinary electoral map of the United States with all the liberal, quiche-eating, Kerry-supporting states of the Northeast and the West Coast colored Democratic blue while the "heartland" and the South were solid Republican red, the solution to the problem suddenly occurred to me. "Blueland" should join Canada.
    It is getting harder and harder for the two tribes of Americans to understand or even tolerate each other. Once again, as in 2000, the country is divided with almost mathematical precision into two halves, one of which adores President Bush while the other literally loathes him. And it goes far deeper than mere personalities or even the old left-right split; the clash now is about social norms and fundamental values on which few are willing to compromise.
    Opinions on the foreign issues that seemed to dominate the election - the war in Iraq and the "war on terror" - just mapped onto that existing cultural division. People who go to church regularly and oppose abortion and gay marriage were also far more likely to believe that U.S. troops had found weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and that Saddam Hussein had somehow sponsored the terrorists of 9-11, so they voted for Bush. People who don't, didn't.
    "Irreconcilable" is the word that springs to mind. Two separate populations have evolved in the United States, and they are increasingly unhappy even about living together. One subspecies, homo canadiensis, thinks Medicare is a good idea, would rather send peacekeepers than bombers, and longs for the wimpy, wispy liberalism enjoyed by their Canadian neighbors to the north. The other breed, homo iraniensis, prefers the full-blooded religious certainties and the militant political slogans - "Death to . . . [fill in the blank]" - that play such a large and fulfilling part in Iranian public life.
    It is sheer cruelty to force these two populations to go on living together, especially because U.S. political life has lost its center and now pits these two irreconcilable opposites directly against each other in a winner-takes-all election every four years. Because the pseudo-Iranians slightly outnumber the proto-Canadians, the obvious solution is for the latter group actually to go to Canada - and indeed, I have lost count of the number of American friends who have told me that if Bush won again, they were going to move to Canada.
    There are problems with this solution, however. A mass migration northward would leave large chunks of the United States virtually empty, and the parts of Canada where people can live in any comfort are pretty full already. Besides, the winters up there really are fairly severe, and I'm not sure that Californians would be up to it. And then, looking at the two-color map of the electoral outcome, the solution hit me. You don't have to move the people; just move the border.
    It would all join up just fine: The parts of the United States inhabited by homo canadiensis all lie along the Canadian border or next to other states that do (although the blue bit dangles down a long, long way in the case of the Washington-Oregon- California strip fondly known as the Left Coast). True, the United States would lose its whole Pacific coast, but we could probably arrange for an American free port in, say, Tijuana. And lots of Canadians could move to a warmer clime without actually having to leave their country.
    At the global level, everybody else would be quite happy with a bigger Canada and a smaller United States. That smaller United States would have to pull in its horns a bit, as it would no longer have the resources to maintain military bases in every single country on the planet, but it would retain enough resources to invade a country every year or so, so it wouldn't suffer too badly from withdrawal symptoms. And the new Canadians would be free to have abortions, enter into gay marriages, do stem-cell research and engage in all other wickednesses that flourish in that bastion of corrupt and Godless liberalism. They could even speak French, if they wanted to.
    No solution is perfect: There would be limp-wristed liberals trapped in the United States and God-fearing rednecks who suddenly found themselves in Canada, so some degree of population exchange would be necessary. It's even possible that a few right-wing bits of Canada - parts of Alberta, for example - might prefer to join the United States. But you can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs, and think how happy everybody will be when they are living exclusively among like-minded people.

    http://www.sltrib.com/opinion/ci_2442180

  • #2
    Here is how the map of North America will look after the proposed solution.

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    • #3
      Yes, exchange the population like India and Pakistan and have a religious bloodhsed as it happened when India and Pakistan became independent and separate! :) And then fight four wars with no result but full of sorrow to all! :)

      I am sure that all this type of stuff (which even the media is reporting) is not really serious but just a joke.


      "Some have learnt many Tricks of sly Evasion, Instead of Truth they use Equivocation, And eke it out with mental Reservation, Which is to good Men an Abomination."

      I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.

      HAKUNA MATATA

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      • #4
        A better idea is since most of America is red I say we have liberal reservations like we have Indian reservations. Now the question is, who would run the Bureau of Liberal Affairs?

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        • #5
          The democratic states don't need to join Canada, but all those democrats out there living in red states need to huddle right up near the border and then declare themselves independant from all other countries. They should also invest in some high quality bomb shelters and methods of removing fallout, because I suspect they would soon need it.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Ironduke
            Yes, and we can have a population exchange just like India and Pakistan did after the partition. We could resettle 16 million from California alone! [/sarcasm]

            Red "Jesusland" would look more like this, btw:

            If we relocated all of the liberals it would be a perfect way to create more liberals. Follow along if you will (extremism too follow... ). The densely populated portions of the US were blue. Smaller geographic area obviously than the red. If all of the liberals left the cities, the ruralites would either have to move into the cities in order to keep America economically viable, or stay where they are and allow the country's financial infrastructure to collapse thus making America an agrarian society. After all, we can't fall back on the rural manufacturing base anymore because we farmed all that off for cheaper labor and relaxed EPA standards. Those companies could never afford to come back to the US for manufacturing. Now, if the ruralites flock to the cities to fill the vacant positions, it would be just a matter of time before they start identifying with the blues and the issues that come to be a concern for city-dwellers. I think it's the perfect plan for the democratic party and we should begin implementing it immediately.

            Before you all pick this apart line by line, please note the heavy sarcasm.

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            • #7
              You guys don't like the United State of Canada and Jesusland solution?
              I am sure Canadians would jump at the proposal as United States of Canada would imeadiately become the #1 super power!
              Last edited by NeoLiberal; 10 Nov 04,, 18:25.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by NeoLiberal
                You guys don't like the United State of Canada and Jesusland solution?
                I am sure Canadians would jump at the proposal as United States of Canada would imeadiately become the #1 super power!
                i give it 8 years and canada would be americanized, because as much as we disagree, we still like our process, canadians dont want that, believe me.

                but what about the alberta, wouldnt they want to go south of the border?
                Whoever is unjust let him be unjust still
                Whoever is righteous let him be righteous still
                Whoever is filthy let him be filthy still
                Listen to the words long written down
                When the man comes around- Johnny Cash

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                • #9
                  Instead of having the blue states join Canada--forcing millions within those states who supported the Republicans to either move to a more friendly political climate or to be unwilling citizens of another country--why don't those who are so dissatisfied with America go live where they feel more at home?

                  The very notion that any American citizen would consider immigrating to another country because of the outcome of a U.S. presidential election tells me that those considering such an action will probably never be happy with the country that has given them so much. Much of this relocation temper tantrum is borne out of little more that childish immaturity--a child who stomps his feet and holds his breath in response to not getting his way. In the minds of liberals, Democracy is a fine idea, but only so long as they agree with the decisions being made. When Republicans lost the White House to Bill Clinton, there was no groundswell of conservative talk about relocating to another land. There was only the focus on reclaiming the White House from the liberals. And we did. Their willingness to cut and run is as telling about the philosophy of liberalism as it is of the individual liberal.

                  Unfortunately for America, the party of inclusion and tolerance shows little of either trait for things it does not approve of. Liberals are everything negative that they accuse the other side of being. Their anger and hatred are so deep-seeded that they don't even recognize the qualities as such anymore. For them, their hatred has been redefined by them as a "search for justice." But their fury has blinded them to the essential truth that justice cannot be realized without freedom--something they would gleefully deprive half the population of this country of if ever they were given the chance. For them, the United States of America means forcibly uniting everyone to their way of thinking.

                  Conservatives are willing to debate the issues--as I frequently do. Liberals...they would merely rather crush any conservative dissent. I have monitored many posting boards, conservative and liberal alike over the past few years. While the comments may be crude on both sides, there is no comparison when it comes to the expression of pure hatred and a desire to do violence against the other side. Liberals "win" that contest hands down. And any liberal who doubts me need only go to a liberal posting board to see the truth.

                  This is why I consider G.W. Bush's stated intent to reach out to liberals to be dubious. On the surface, it sounds perfectly feasible and even palatable. But their entrenched mindset on conservatism makes for a potentially deadly ally. Any any expressed desire by them to share power is only a smokescreen to forestall any changes conservatives would make until such time as the political balance shifts to their favor. And I can assure you that such an offer of friendship would not be made if the Democrats controlled both houses of Congress and the presidency right now. That doesn't mean we shouldn't try to be better them in offering a handshake, but it shouldn't allow us to divert our focus from OUR agenda.
                  Last edited by Lucien LaCroix; 11 Nov 04,, 00:29.
                  "If I see further than other men, it is because I stand upon the shoulders of giants."

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by NeoLiberal
                    You guys don't like the United State of Canada and Jesusland solution?
                    I am sure Canadians would jump at the proposal as United States of Canada would imeadiately become the #1 super power!
                    I will make the assumption that you are a Canadian.

                    However, no assumption need be made to realize that you haven't a clue as to what a country needs to embody to truly be regarded as a superpower.
                    "If I see further than other men, it is because I stand upon the shoulders of giants."

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Lucien LaCroix
                      I will make the assumption that you are a Canadian.

                      However, no assumption need be made to realize that you haven't a clue as to what a country needs to embody to truly be regarded as a superpower.
                      ouch !

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                      • #12
                        Lucian,

                        I think you might have missed the lighthearted intent of this thread.

                        Also, the liberal backlash is limitted in numbers. These instances of relocation desires are few and far between and mostly satirical. The majority of the liberals have moved on and accepted the fact that Bush is there for another four years. We don't have to like it, but we are moving on. Don't pretend that the conservative masses would have taken a democratic victory any more lightly. There would definately have been outcry if Kerry had won this election. This board alone would have be riddled with it.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by NeoLiberal
                          I am sure Canadians would jump at the proposal as United States of Canada would imeadiately become the #1 super power!
                          see, this tells me NeoLiberal is not Canadian. We Canadians joke about having no identity, but in fact, we guard it jealously! And #1 superpower??!!! No way! Then we'd be targetted, despised, end up with ex-actors for leaders.... ;)
                          Insanity is doing the same thing over and over
                          and expecting a different result.
                          Albert Einstein.

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                          • #14
                            Come on guys, what happened to diversity?? We should all be able to live together, no matter who is in office. Or, do we all need "marriage counseling" around here. LOL

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                            • #15
                              Yes, Canada by all means protect what you have. I would love it if the US wasn't the policing force of the world. Being hated and targeted in exhausting. Why can't we just make goods, trade goods, and enjoy life? You can't say that the terrorist generally hate freedom, otherwise they would be attack every democratic nation on the planet, not just the US.

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