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themuffinman
11 Jun 04,, 16:39
FRANCE STINKS!

No... we’re not talking about the gooey-in-the-middle cheeses, or the famously un-Chanel-like sewers of Paris, or even of the once-a-week-whether-you-need-it-or-not-mon-ami bathing habits of the rather fragrant inhabitants.

No, what we’re talking about is French stinkin’ thinkin’—specifically the attitude that says they will do whatever they can to attempt to stymie the super-power that’s pulled their escargot out of the brasserie—the United States of America. Yes, when it comes to knowing who their friends and allies are, the simple truth is that France Stinks!

Of course, in the current conflict in the Middle East, they have some special interests—who do you think sold Sadaam all the hardware he’s claiming doesn’t exist on the Weapons of Mass Destruction floor of his department store of death? One American journalist we’ve seen said he asked his Pentagon contacts how soon he should be ready to join the U.S. military unit he’s going to cover the war with. His contact replied, “Just as soon as the last receipt in French is burned in Bagdad, you can saddle up.” And we now KNOW that they sold parts for Saddam's jets and copters--the same machines our boys'll be shooting out of the sky in a few days and that'll be shooting back at US--as recently as JANUARY!!!!!

Meanwhile, of course, there’s this issue of gratitude, alliances, and partnership. The French are happy as all get-out to sell us everything from runny cheese to over-priced old grapejuice, but when it comes to reciprocal respect, well….here’s another anecdote.

One of America’s top lawmakers tells of a recent visit to a diplomatic ceremony in D.C. At the affair, a French diplomat began browbeating him about Iraq. As our rep tells it, “I realized we just weren’t going to agree, so I asked him a simple question that took him a bit by surprise. ‘Do you speak German, M’sieur?’”

The Frenchman said, after a moment, “Non, m’sieur.”

Our rep replied, “You’re welcome.” And walked away, leaving behind a mystified and persistently stinking thinking Frenchman, of course.

SO what do we DO about these stinkers, anyhow? There are so many grievances, so many acts of cowardice, craven unfaithfulness and generally obtuse behavior over the years—from Petain and Vichy in the 40’s to DeGaulle kicking our NATO forces out in the 1960’s through the viscious Vichy-like anti-semitic acts of more recent times and, of course, the obstruction to justice in the UN and the Middle East—and the list goes on and on.

But what do we do in the meanwhile? Well, the purpose of this website is to give us all a place to talk about it. What can we stop buying? What can we stop excusing? What can we do to stop rewarding disloyalty and behind-our-back treachery of the kind that is so very, very French?

We have a few ideas, and we bet YOU do to. SO let’s talk about it, because just knowing in our guts that France Stinks isn’t enough. We’ve got to DO something about it, and we hope you treat this online home of patriotic American ornery-ness as your safe haven to get together, kick a few ideas around, and find a way to make an impact on the everyday folks in France who, we hope, are enough like us to realize that their leaders are taking steps it will be hard to retrace once the soufflé of Franco-American relations has fallen with a loud, Gallic thud and the merde hits the aerator in the desert sands.

So put down that Perrier, grab a Coke and a smile, and get involved! Let’s get started, because with every day it becomes truer and truer that France just plain stinks!

AND IF YOU ARE FRENCH AND A VISITOR HERE....remember that as visitors you should do what maman said and act POLITELY and properly. This site was built for Americans, and not for you. So before you get all overly offended you might want to consider that this is YOUR chance to get to know US a bit better since WE have come to know and, in some cases, regret knowing you. AND IF YOU AGREE with us, please, tell M. Chirac and M. Villepin that the world is a dangerous place for ALL of us and that their blind appeasement to the killers and torturers will only buy us ALL more torture and death. There is no appeasement for the Bin Ladens and Husseins and, for that matter, Mugabes of this world, mes amis! Wake up, make the historical glories of France live again, and put aside the backward, infantile, and destructive men and ideas who are leading you to permanent obscurity and irrelevance. Join us, watch us, ignore us---your choice--but get out of the way, because America is COMING THROUGH.

http://www.francestinks.com/